Where is Collarme?


You have reached this page because you attempted to visit Collarme.com and the site is down. If you wish to know why Collarme is unavailable, I suggest you grab a drink and some popcorn, as this tale is a long and harrowing one.

My name is Tiffany. I am one of the two founders of Collarme.com. I have been involved with Collarme from its inception as a fledgling idea to give individuals in the BDSM community greater freedom of expression than existed on other sites to the thriving community it has turned into.

I have poured years of my life into Collarme and those who were on the site early on as well as all of the wonderful volunteers we have had throughout the years know who I am. I generally keep a low profile, but for anyone who dealt with Collarme, from volunteering to advertising to press coverage and resolution of legal issues, I was responsible for managing the site’s non technical operations.

I am the individual responsible (please don’t hate me!) for the ads on Collarme and therefore the person to thank for keeping Collarme free. I transformed Collarme from a pet project into an extremely successful business and would have done much more if I had been given the opportunity.

During many of these years of work on Collarme I was largely uncompensated, living as friends with its co-founder. I was fine with this arrangement as I always assumed that I would be able to earn a modest living from the site’s operation or sale at some point. While my partner controlled the servers, I was given ownership of the domain, which I have retained for many, many years. We never entered into a contract because we were the best of friends and trusted each other implicitly.

Unfortunately, several years ago, my relinquishment of daily control of the site led to a rapid decline in Collarme.com and the experience of many users. I moved back to the East Coast and helped with Collarme as requested, but for the most part let my partner run Collarme.com as he wished. Under his management the site began to fall apart. If you have been on Collarme for more than five years, then I am sure you know the issues to which I allude, difficulties that are mirrored on the administrative side which most users do not see.

My partner begged me to quit my full time job and “captain the ship.” When I managed Collarme.com on a daily basis, the site thrived and we both wished to return it to its former glory. At the time I was considering this request, a friend of mine insisted that I enter into a formal contract to establish my interests in the site I co-founded and was abandoning a well-paying career to run.

A contract was drawn up which granted me a modest salary, less than what I was currently earning at my job, as well as accrual of a small percentage of Collarme.com’s gross revenues.

This contract was to last for two years since this was the anticipated time frame I believed would be necessary to turn the site around. By the end of the contract, I would be receiving 12% of the site’s gross revenues as long as it was in operation and receive 48% of proceeds upon sale if it were ever sold. This contract was meant to formally establish me as an equal partner in the site, which was our intent from is creation.

The contract led to an initial period of substantial improvement. Many administrative changes were implemented and the site’s revenues increased significantly. Unfortunately, my partner became increasingly difficult to work with. I hired numerous developers to code new features and improve existing ones and all of them quit because my partner was extremely uncooperative. He began stifling my attempts to make even the most minor changes and projected his personal tastes onto everything. As an example, an advertiser wanted to put up an extremely tasteful ad which showed several young ladies’ perfectly manicured legs and feet. The ad was obviously for the large segment of the BDSM community who have an interest in foot fetishes, but he was “grossed out” by this and insisted that “no one wants to look at womens’ feet.”

I could provide dozens of examples of how I was prevented from doing my job and within the extremely limited powers I had, I did the very best I could. My partner gradually continued to take away any autonomy I possessed. He would routinely pull my access to administrative functions, affiliate accounts, and analytics. There was even a point when the advertising e-mail was broken and I would contact him multiple times a day about fixing it and offering suggestions. It took two months before he restored it.

My partner would routinely ignore my phone calls, emails, and texts. I was doing my absolute best to help him and work with him, but someone put it in his head that I was out to take the site away from him and that is how I was treated. Ten+ years of working lockstep with each other within the closest of friendships and I was treated like I am a total stranger.

Eight months into the contract, I discovered I was pregnant. At twenty weeks I discovered that my daughter would be born with a severe congenital heart defect called Tetralogy of Fallot. The variant she was diagnosed with was particularly rare and complex. I continued to work on Collarme.com and even answered work emails while I was at the hospital in labor.

Five days after I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, we discovered that her condition was far more severe than anticipated. So much so that the best pediatric cardio-thoracic surgeon in NYC suggested that I consult with the world’s leading pediatric cardio-thoracic surgeon who specializes in her condition. He stated that she was in the top 10% of most severe cases he had ever seen.

When I told my partner this news and indicated that I would have to take a few weeks off to deal with this, the very next day I received an email with a notice of termination of my contract as well as a note from an attorney that I would not be paid for my prior month’s work or for the two month notice period provided for in the contract, during which I offered to continue working.

Despite Collarme.com’s substantial revenues, I was told that the company cannot afford to pay me and would be reviewing its finances. The stated objective was to provide me the payments due under the contract to the extent that the company could afford them.

Out of respect for my former partner I wanted to resolve issues amicably and waited. Since my daughter was born in October I reached my insurance’s out of pocket maximum for both 2013 and 2014, with an open heart surgery occurring each year.

My daughters father earns a high five figure salary which is fine in NYC as half of our household income goes to rent, but not enough to live off of and deal with the costs of flying across the country for weeks at a time, thousands of dollars worth of medical expenses and the expenses associated with a new baby. I was unable to look for a job because my daughter was so fragile that she was (and still is) unable to be put in daycare.

During this entire time, my partner, someone I considered at one point to be my closest friend, did not contact me once. I was in California for my daughter’s heart surgeries, a thirty minute drive from him, and he refused to meet and work towards living up to his obligations.

The day I was leaving California following my daughter’s second heart surgery, five months after the termination of my contract, I received a settlement offer. This was a one time “take it or leave it” offer that was, kindly viewed, a joke. I was so desperate at this point that I indicated I might agree to it. The only stipulation I had was that in the terms of the settlement agreement my non compete, which was to be up one year from the date of the notice of termination, not be extended and that I could build a site of my own and compete in a commercially reasonable manner if I so wished. I was never told this offer was withdrawn but suddenly, days would turn into weeks of emails and phone calls to a non responsive attorney who I believe was being stonewalled by my former partner. I was simply told over and over again that my partner was unreachable or that this was a particularly bad month or an accountant was working over the finances.

What does that have to do with why CM is down?

As I mentioned above, I am the legal owner of the domain Collarme.com. I never would have contemplated taking the site down but at this point things have turned into a farce. I have gone over seven months without a cent while accumulating significant debts and caring for with a daughter who has a severe medical condition while my partner enjoys a lavish lifestyle while claiming abject poverty.

I could litigate my breach of contract claim and I would win as my former partner has no defense for his actions. Litigation is an expensive and messy process that would take years and unfortunately I have expenses now. As the registered owner of the domain for many years I have sadly concluded that the only means to bringing about the resolution of this sad drama is to put my former partner in exactly the same position he put me.

If you know him, as some of you do, I implore you to reach out to him and convince him to do the right thing and live up to the promises he made as well as his moral commitment to a friend who built Collarme with him. To the rest of you, I want to sincerely apologize that you are the innocent victims of his wantonly irresponsible behavior and the unfortunate results it has brought about. However this conflict is resolved, I now know that I cannot rely upon my former partner and dearest friend and in the following year may work to build a BDSM dating site that is run effectively, responsibly and for the benefit of its users, not as a personal kingdom.

1,025 thoughts on “Where is Collarme?”

  1. I’m very sorry you had to go through all of this. I would like to say that I support you 100%. Best of luck in resolving everything in an expeditious manner.


      1. ‘LIKE’ Collarme lol
        Sick child!
        Broken relationship!
        It’s like a z rated soap opera. You people will believe anything.

      2. Too many broken/not functioning links, especially the member search page… provided NO consistent returns based on the selection criteria (not to mention that the country list is scrambled).

        On the plus side setting up a profile was simple, easy and quick.

        Email for admin support@Society31.com does NOT WORK and mail is rejected/returned.

        I would NOT recommend this site at present.


      3. Full of scammers like collarme!!! I have repeatedly been solicited by maggots from Ghana, Nigeria, and Phillipines! Society 31 is a fat dog infested with diseased fleas!!! Alas, I do remember Collarme ‘s glory days!!!


        1. I think the good folk of collar me should start a kick starter like effort, to launch a brilliant new website for paying customers, except the people who contribute financially to launch it, get a free lifetime membership. Additionally it should only cost around 5.00 a month, and there should be strict anti-scamming controls employed….. Maybe ban ip addresses or something, when irrefutable spamming activity gas been committed. Collarme just grew stagnant, and sadly the scammers proliferated.

          1. I agree, collarme used to be really good back in 2003 when I first discovered it but I think a paying site is the way forward to eliminate certain aspects.

            In terms of what “she” is doing… I support her. She owns the domain (assuming this is true) so she can do what she wants. It’s no different than when GM decided to stop making Saturn, Pontiac brands!

            I like the kick starter idea. “She” should create a new site and own the whole thing herself. If what she says is true, then I like to see more of what collarme was back in 2003!

          2. Wes hold get behind her and help the site be better than ever before. All good thoughts. Let’s get something going.

        2. Hear Hear
          My experience seconds this and my personal experience with scammers well exceeds 600 scammers.

      4. Tiffany sorry for all that you are going through. There is sure to be a solution for you and your daughter somewhere in this equation.

        As for those seeking to connect with lost friends. I am on http://www.society31.com looks great!

          1. I’ve deleted my profile there, there’s just too much crap on there. It’s a god damn contact site but there’s so much to wade through just on the home page that you need a degree in computer science just to sort it all out.
            Why on earth do they always do that? Also the reason i left FL.
            The lack of pointless crap was one of the reasons i liked CM.

      5. Shame on you Kendra.

        Instead of wishing this lady the best of luck, you are using even her personal situation to advertise and promote yourself (and another site).

        1. Shame on you’s for believing it.
          If my child were sick i certainly wouldn’t use her for the sympathy vote in no circumstance whatsoever.
          I don’t believe in any of this, i smell a rat!!!

    1. Sorry to hear this sad news. I hope things go well for you and your daughter Tiffany. I wish we would of had a warning I lost many friends as well as others did. Hopefully you will be able to get your own site in the near future. God bless you both. Take care.
      Sincerely, Ladycat66

      1. Sorry to hear this..Wish we had some Warning.
        With alot of sites closing Fast we are rapidly losing contacts.
        With the closure of IC as well it makes it hard to keep in touch?Ive been on CM many yrs & meet some Fab people use to be a good site many yrs ago ..I shall miss it hope things can be resolved..Many thanks Tiffany!

    2. It’s all a pack of lies & the fact that i explained fully why i believe that, on here, without any bad language & my comments not approved only proves i’m right.
      Now i will post a detailed explanation on twitter, fb & youtube.

      1. i’d like to read what you have to say, Nikita. I don’t have twitter and, as of now, i can’t find anything on youtube concerning collarme except verification videos…how do i find your youtube or fb?

        1. I, too, would like to know what the “true” story is. I have been a member off and on since the very beginning..i came here when ALT.com stopped being a free site. Well over 10 years ago.

          Please enlghten us with facts instead of accusations…So far i am inclined to believe the story I have just read, as it jives with things I have notices through the years and you have provided no other defense except to say it’s all BS..Please, enlighten us. Let us know why this wonderful site was allowed(or forced) down the shitter and someone in great need was fucked over by someone she considered to be her friend. It appears to me from the letter, as well as the sites trends the past few years, that someone wanted to use the site to cash in and someone just wanted to offer a good site for like minded people. Something other than the ridiculously cliquish Fetlife..

    3. Sorry to hear of your delima. Your decision is perfectly understandable. I appreciate your explanation, and it appears to clearly work in your favor as I have seen workplace recruitment. You made the right choice.

    4. earlier this afternoon there was a link on here to get to the new cm or whatever was put back up by whoever. I see that has been taken down too. although I sympathize with tiffanys story, it is just her story. one side of it. and I still think its just spitefull to not give any notice so friends can set up another way to connect etc. why make others suffer? and last, and I don’t mean to be insensitive, but even though my heart goes out to her about her daughter it really has nothing to do with any of this. this is wrong on all kinds of levels.

      1. I do not know who is right or wrong in this battle of wills … BUT … the decision to just arbitrary take down Collarme.com without any advance warning to members is an appalling, irrational, unconscionable and extreme overreaction and unfair and inconsiderate to the members who were suddenly cut-off without warning or a rational explanation.

        1. Greetings! I am very sorry to see the sudden demise of COLLAR ME. I’ve met quite a few nice people over the past few months. Fortunately I’ve given some of them my personal contact info. I’m on FETLIFE as MISTRESSNEON,but just have not used it nearly as much as CM. I tried to join SOCIETY 31,but there was a problem setting up my account. I might be found there eventually. If you met me on COLLAR ME,please friend me at FETLIFE or in the future,SOCIETY 31. WARMEST WISHES to everyone. Tiffany,love and prayers to you and yours!!!

        2. Tiffany’s decision to take down collarme.com without notice was not arbitrary or unfair to users of collarme.com.

          I have been using collarme.com for ten years.

          Tiffany owns collarme.com. She has been letting us use it free of charge. I thank her for her generosity and her kindness.

          She doesn’t owe any of us anything.

          I believe Tiffany was dedicated to making collarme.com a better place.

          Everyone who used collarme.com should just say, “Thank you Tiffany.”

          1. You make a fine point, Frank. So…

            Thank you Tiffany. Thank you for creating a site where fetish enthusiasts and those curious about it can find others just like them and form meaningful bonds with one another. Sending prayers and encouragement your way. In due time, the storm will indeed pass :)

          2. “Tiffany’s decision to take down collarme.com without notice was not arbitrary or unfair to users of collarme.com.”

            Yes it was. Many people had a profile they invested in and pictures they had no reason to expect losing the hosting of. She didn’t have to provide a free website, but she did, so nobody expected it to suddenly disappear overnight with no warning to save their content!

            This comment won’t likely be read by her or anyone who has contact with her, but if it is, I just want to say that pretty much any birth defect is caused by nutritional deficiency, malnourishment and poisoning from diet or product consumption. and the environment but proper diet and nutrition and health can deter that having a great effect. There are countless ways to heal with the body, mind, and spiritually as well. mainstream medicine is generally an evil and causes more illness than it prevents. Nutrition and living close to our natural state (which includes positivity as we are naturally beings of purity and love and not negativity) is the true way to health

        3. She is the owner of the domain. Not of the website. The domain point to the server. So she can put a notice beforehand. She dont have acced to the database or any other stuff on the server of collarme. What she did is just changing the address for the domain name. And put this website instead.
          Her story may false or wrong but at least the part where she is owner of the domain is right. Now if you want to find the old collarme. Well you lay try the last ip adress.

        4. So.. Are you pointing that at the person who made that decision, or her?

          If you’re pointing it at her, someone obviously didn’t read the post..> You one of those TL;DR folks?

        5. Agreed…at least give us the whole story. I am always suspect when the person being blamed for the downfall and screwing over of individuals does not give their side of events…it speaks volumes to me. So If the story we have been given i not accurate, please, you have the floor to give your side of it..

      2. I totally agree. If you’re going to run a business (or dissolve it) treat it as such. There were countless members (whether we paid for the services or not), who were left just hanging in the air … unable to contact and/or respond to new friends, etc. That’s just sour grapes gone all wrong, honey. You could have handled it much more professional than that – If you had an issue with your ‘partner’ for that length of time – the least you cold do is forewarn your members of the possibility of such a crash. Lesson learned – no, you do NOT mix business with pleasure/friendships … someone ends up getting screwed … in this case – it’s the members of Collarme. Ah, well …

        1. I’m sure you are perfect in every facet of your life, never make mistakes, and ate infallible. Damn, I wished is known about you when they needed a pope….sigh Pope Francis isn’t a pimple on your ass ….. Your eminence! *bows and kisses your feet*
          *strains of a heavenly choir can be heard in the background*

        2. Isn’t it nice this person name Tiffany wishes to air out her dirty laundry to all? This is a business, and there are many of us that do not and should not have to read your dirty laundry or held hostage.

          1. Tiffany, if what you said is true, and I don’t know one way or the other, I send you my heartfelt thanks for running Collarme for as long as you did, and say that you owe us nothing. I hope too, that you get the help your daughter so desperately needs.
            If it is all B.S., then you still owe us nothing, and thanks anyway for facilitating us kinksters for so long.
            Either way, I look forward to Collarme rising from the ashes.

          2. How are you being held hostage? You didn’t have to read her reasoning if you didn’t want to nor are you entitled to anything from a free website. She owns the name not the servers so she couldn’t give a warning. Yes it is business and sometimes you have to take a bold move in order to get resolution.

      3. Has nothing to do with “any” of this
        Did you not read …. The site was part hers, she lost all income, all future income, if you own a business and you go though a devorce or a hardship many times the business goes under, So has as nothing to do with any of this, stop being so self minded of how poor you lost on your way of contacting friends, if they truly where friends you should have other ways to contact them, if you didn’t… then well then figure it out yourself,
        As for me I am so so sorry Tiffany about your daughter, Keep the faith and never give up on hope.

        1. Dan, I own a business and and once split with a partner. We had hundreds of thousands on the streets at the time. None of our clients were affected by the split. We ensured that the our divorce did not harm the business itself or our clients. What Tiffany is doing is wrong on so many levels. There are ways, proper ways to go about it and this is not one of them. I am realizing I have entrusted my information to someone whose with immature or unstable or both.

          1. Bluemoon…you are assuming that Tiffany’s partner is rational. Not returning calls or texts for months doesn’t seem like someone who is rational.
            Yes it is a business and she appears to have been screwed over by her partner, so she is exerting what influence or power she may have to force her partner into a negotiated settlement.
            Tiffany doesn’t owe us anything, CM is free, she didn’t even owe us this explanation, she could have just yanked it and left us all in the dark.
            While it may appear to be “unprofessional” for her to air her dirty laundry or her personal family issues out, we here all the time that people leave work for “personal reasons”.
            The situation seems like it is hyperbole, however it is so dramatic I tend to believe it. Besides it started as a social site to build friendships among like minded individuals, I’m sure she is the type of person that feels compelled and dedicated enough to those relationships to, at least, honor and respect them by providing her side of the story.
            That being said, it would be interesting to hear a response from her partner…but she has no obligation…it seems like CM was as much a product of their union as it was a stand alone entity and now that that’s over so is CM. Great bands break up and never play together ever again for the same reason….

        2. I can see an understand your frustration. I lost a considerable amount of money invested in a business with partners whom were undesirable.
          I can only say here, here for playing the only hand you had to play. they have cut off their nose to spite their face.

          Blessings to you and your daughter.
          I imagine whatever you build for yourself in the future it will be amazing.

          1. Umm…….Bobi? I believe that’s “Hear, Hear”. Just thought I’d point that out.

    5. there are a few different and unrelated issues here.

      1st your unfortunate situation with your daughter, which you have my full simpathy

      2. your behavior as a buisness owner and operator which frankly has nothing what so ever to do with the first, having given up a career for a loved one without a second thought I know that when you have to make life decissions you, make a choice to eather continue what your doing or you walk away and take care of your family. eather is an option, throwing oneself into a verbal and legal battle over what you admit is more a hobby then a livelyhood isn’t, its poor buisness (getting 12% of nothing is still nothing) and dragging your issues in front of customers is bad customer service which again leaves you at the end of the day with a devalued property even if you win.

      3rd is your claim to be dedicated to the customers….. unfortunately behavior such as yours brings into question exactly how dedicated you are to them.

      finally there are two sides to every story and quite frankly until you get to hear both sides (and probobly a back story that is probobly different from eather side) I withhold judgement on anyone, but thats what we have courts, judges and juries for, and thats why people have attorneys. something stinks in all this and frankly I suspect all sides are contributeing…….

      this isn’t the first site break up I’ve seen won’t be the last it happens, and it usually has more to do with the attitudes and inflated egos involved in the owners/management then in the people whom use them.

      for me I think I’ll hang out at The-pork.com for a bit.

    6. Well Tiff that explains a lot, I wondered why long term members, such as myself were being treated so badly, they actually blocked my profile and refused to unblock it, I asked if that is how you treat long term members and whoever was in charge of support was quite rude and said if I didn’t like it I could just delete my profile, after 14 yrs of being on that site, I was appalled by this, I am so sorry that it seems you got screed and screwed bad, I hope you get what is due you and the site returns but without those who drove the site into the ground

      1. Again, if Tiffany is telling the truth, it seems that she didn’t have much control over how the site was run, so how could she be held responsible to people being blocked, or what messages were posted before she finally pulled the connection between the domain name and the server ip address.

    7. bad luck tiffany.you deserved better………but bounce back if you can……for your sake as much as anybody elses

    8. Tiffany you have my support 150% . I would love to see CM returned to what it used to be…. I have been with CollarMe for many years and have noticed it’s slow decline and would love to see it return to the good ole days……. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this rough time. There might be a lot of other sites out there but there is and will always only be 1 CollarME.com….. It has been the best for making connections and lasting friendships in the BDSM community…

      And to your so called friend….. I Can only say remember this “WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND IT’S CALLED KARMA”’ ………

      Hang Tough Tiffany and remember you have a lot of us that are standing behind you and will be here with you every step of the way…. If anyone can’t’ seem to live without CM for a few days then you need professional help or do not have a life that you need to blame Tiffany for something that she had to do in order to get what was due her…. Just as you work and expect to get paid so does she…..

    9. thank you so much, for your words and advice, i have been busy running round fr my daughters health and to bring back the site in a better way

      1. First, make the site work properly–no lost photos or blocked profiles, able to find all members in the search, etc. Second, find a way to get rid of the scammers. Although their profiles were almost always obvious, they dominated the site. Third, screen the profiles for immature thrill seekers or newbees who do not even know what dominance and submission are, those who are just seeking to leave a bad home situation, etc. Make them read each of the bdsm interests and list some; would be good to have a brief introductory article about bdsm required to be read for those who claim no experience to get rid of the vanillas on the site.

    10. Tiffany,
      I empathise having a syndrome that affects my heart and aortic valve,

      Praying that your little baby will be okay.

      Could you return the site to permit people to remove their info and pictures please? ?

    11. I’m shocked.. wished I had some notice, I will miss the many friends I had here. I made it a point to not to any other contact because this was the best safe place. I wish you and your daughter well and hope things will be resolved.

    12. Dear Tiffany,
      I myself know of hardship. Being involved in a construction job accident in which I was thrown 50 feet in the air, severing my spinal cord when I hit the ground. It’s left me paralyzed from my chest down. Though I have regained some independence, my injuries are so severe that not many women find me attractive enough to see what I’m about. Collarme gave me an outlet to at least talk to people. It’s been over 10 years since I’ve had a real date. Of course, I’ve been in and out of the hospital as well, battling my condition by myself. I’ve tried not to seem weak, or needy, but a man can only go so long. I stay to myself, and I try not to cause people to feel sorry for me.
      My 47th birthday is in June. It would really be nice to finally be able to eat a piece of cake with a pretty girl, instead of by myself,,,
      W. Allen Caddell

    13. did you know that if u state in an,open website that you are going to breach the legal no competition agreement that you signed could be used in a court of law to provide proof that you were I attempting to bridge., one more thing California doesn’t take no competition contracts seriously courts don’t like the people unemployed because they cannot use the skills they posess. I am very interested in talking with you, I am going to re read your text and see if there’s any contact information towards you, if not I will hope you reach out to me

    14. I wanted to join collarme but the draconian requirements, prevented me from doing so.
      I mean did anyone else actually review thoroughly, the contract you were agreeing to?
      Things like how the member had to agree to accept “advertising” (spam by the bucket load) forever and if they would close down the email that got the spam, even after ceasing to be a member they were liable for something like $5000.00 per advertiser who no longer had their email account to send “advertising” to.
      That was totally absurd, no way was I going to sign my life away like that just to find out the other members I would want to contact, were fakes and phonies, anyway.

    15. I am saddened by the closing of this site, but hopefully a new one with fresher content will be made–best of luck!!

    16. Tiffany, you aren’t smartest person in the world. Enjoy your worthless domain name. Your partner will and should sue you. Anyway, collarme is up and you are the odd bitch out!

  2. Very sad story. Sorry you have to go through this. You’re being way too nice. Hopefully some CM lawyer will come to your rescue with a pro bono or contingency agreement. Unfortunately, the site was becoming nothing but a haven for scammers, fakes, pro dommes, and findommes, aka net prostitutes. Hope it’s back in the future though, and better than ever!

    Best of luck.


  3. Your partner is a total asshole. I am sorry that you have to deal with this POS and glad that you put the site on hold. I hope he goes down in flames.

    1. That just made me smirk and bust out laughing reading your comment. I know it is annoying these legal processes… I wish Tiffany luck with it and pray to God for her daughter and family to thrive.

  4. It is unfortunate that such a travesty occurred. I have no ill feelings towards you or your actions. I see from your words it took you a long time to come to this conclusion. I understand that this was a very difficult decision to make. I know it would have been nearly impossible to let the community and users of the site know This was going to happen ahead of time since there are so many of us. I do however Thank you for the explanation and I hope things do get resolved in a civil manner quickly. I enjoy this site greatly and have enjoyed speaking with some of the newer submissives I see in my area to help them understand the life in more detail instead of throwing them to the wolves in a sense.

    1. Well said Sir Jeffrey.
      Tiffany, I echo Jeffrey’s support and understanding and wish you the very best in resolving this convoluted and emotionally draining problem. It’s very clear that you took a lot of time and thought to share your story and this explanation.
      I don’t know your partner, but your story reinforces my belief that close friendships/family and business don’t always mix well. I wish you and your daughter well.


  5. very sorry you find yourself in this situation, I would be very interested if you do start up a new site, in helping in any way i can

  6. Tiffany

    Love the website. Met my girlfriend here. Interested in seeing if there is a way to help.


  7. Tiffany, I can very well understand your motivation but with your action you punish the – as you name them – innocent victims for they have nothing to do with your fight. Do you feel that’s fair? To take us away the connections built with CM just like that? As you’re the Owner of the site you know that now hundreds of thousends of members have not the slightest chance to get in touch with people they like or even love. I am sure there would have been other ways to reach your goal. Members might have even helped you but if you upset and disappoint them with just taking them away very personal relationships, don’t expect too much of sympathy.

    1. You are an ASSSHOLE!!! If they built meaningful connections they should of moved the conversations offline already. Only fakers and scammers keep it in the cyber world for such a long time!!!

      1. I feel bad for the Tiffany and hope all will go well but I do agree with connaissir. Some just have a nice chit chat going on and didn’t think of it yet to move it to Skype or elsewhere.

        Simply taking down a wildly popular website without any notice beforehand is a wrong thing to do and can be heartbreaking for many.

        1. I agree. to not give notice so that emails can be exchanged and connections that are new a way to continue is as wrong as what your partner did.

        2. Sorry folks, CM is a FREE website. No one pays membership. We don’t have contracts, there is no expectation that the free service will be available for our convenience. I’m as put out as everyone else, but it is what it is. If there is a business dispute in progress, and the owner of the Domain feels their only leverage is to stop revenues while issues are resolved, then that’s her choice. If we don’t like it, well…bummer for us, but getting upset because something is “owed” to us is frankly, silly. Sure, the members eyeballs are the reason for the revenue, but we have been compensated every day by the service the site provided already.

          I’m sure there are two sides to the story so I have no opinion on the merits or facts of the case, but as a member, I fully support the Domain owners right to control the domain and use that asset as she feels necessary to resolve the dispute.

          Hopefully the site comes back up, or is replaced, but don’t hold your breath. We’re all responsible for building, finding, and maintaining our relationships, not CM. The site is a free convenience, and like most “free” things, it exists at the whim of the property owners.

          1. This message is in response to Hunter’s —

            If there were no members participating in the hundreds of thousands or millions, the owner would have no revenue and could not market the Collarme.com website as a ‘valuable’ space to advertise BDSM and sexual merchandise.
            Let me explain it this way. There is a very busy and congested highway, which takes at least 90 minutes to go from point A to point B (60 mile distance). A rancher/farmer with a very large mostly undeveloped property decided to build a private four lane highway through his property, which reduced the travel time to 45 minutes to those who used this private thoroughfare.
            This works great for all, because with less traffic on the main public highway, the time from point A to point B was reduced to 60 minutes.

            After five years, the rancher/farmer suddenly closed the road without any warning and hundreds of travelers were caught off guard and were expecting their travel time would be 45 or 60 minutes; suddenly it is 90 and all schedules and plans are adversely disrupted.

            YES! The farmer had the right to close it down. BUT … to not forewarn travelers with at least three days of notice is unacceptable.

          2. Spot on. Everyone put their big boy/girl panties on and chill. There are numerous other sites to play on such as FetLife.com. It is what it is.

        3. I have copyrighted materials on your site. I would like to retrieve them, my photos, my journals, my profile.

          Thank you. A little notice would have given me time to save my copyrighted material. How do you plan to protect my intellectual property on your site? This is very disconcerting.

          Although I sympathize with your conundrum, simply shutting the site down without warning is not a viable solution.

          My philosophy; Do what you will…harm none. The karmic return is 3×3 for knowingly harming others.

          If you need to make the site more profitable, make cm a pay site.


          1. You have copywritten materials, and the only place they exist is on a website that is currently down?

            Pretty stupid way of protecting your I.P. dude.

          2. Everyone’s profile on their web site was copyrighted. Tiffany hosted our copyrighted stuff free of charge. She does not owe any of us anything!

          3. She can not warn everyone before hand. She is the owner of the domain not the server. She do not touch any revenue from it. But she does pay for the domain. Which is normally not a really high fee but still. Anyway my point being you can t warn someone you don t have the e mail of.

          4. Are you a moron? Do you even know how copy right works? Also do you not understand because she made it very clearly she only owns the domain name which redirected you to the current site you are on. She has nothing to do with the servers, journals, photos etc. Those are still there on the partners server.

      2. Damn Heather, some serious pent up hostility. not everyone moves fast. and just because they dont move fast does not mean they are fake.
        and beyond that there are a lot of different types of friendship. there are people i have known for years in person that i dont want to know where the fuck i live, that doesnt mean i dont consider them friends and wouldent be hurt or upset if i never saw them again. sure cm had issues with fakes, but that does not mean that everyone who was there or who took there time was a fake or a whore.

    2. I totally agree. She could have disabled the money making ads her partner was running and temporarily give us access to get in contact with our friends. It’s a sad story, but way too much information for me. Not a very nice way to treat people who have been loyal members for years.

      1. No she could not ! I know you did not understood what she said because it was a bit technical. But no she could not. She own the domain. The name. Not the server. Website are put on server with an adress. And the domain name is somewhere else with the adress. So she own this little part. Where she can access to nothing.

    3. If you are unable to live without CM you have a lot more to worry about. Anyone you have made such close bonds with you should have been communicating with off the site. I have been on other sites (pay & free) and CM is good for some things but being a free site it allows every scammer in the world to ride along and waste others time. I was discussing building a new site for those that are serious in their search. I suggest finding someone to partner with (under contract) and build a new site to make CM irrelevant, as it mostly is now

      1. I am sorry to see that collarme is down but I feel that Tiffany should be treated fairly. Collarme has helped me find a good play partner Dom I am still close to after almost 2 years. But I only periodically check my emails so its not the end of the world that the site is down. I am praying that Tiffany and her family get the financial need to ensure the survival and thriving of their bundle of joy.

    4. way to be a TOTALLY selfish asshole connaissir. people like you disgust us decent folks. may you get painful bleeding internal anal boils.

    5. How ignorant can you be. If these so called dear friendship are lost because of cm being down then that’s your problem for not making better contact options. You are the selfish one. This lady who owns the domain did what was right for her and her family. So suck it up buttercup and move on….

    6. connaisXXX, I won’t call you sir because you don’t deserve that title

      You’re an asshole. Quit thinking about yourself. Tiffany has gone through way more than your shallow ass could ever imagine, and she seems to have handled it with grace and dignity.
      She is talking about her career and family, and you’re talking about not having pen pals? What a tool.

      As Heather said, if in fact you do love someone on Collarme, you should have long since gotten their personal contact information.

      Would it have been nice to be given a days notice, of course, but any person with common business sense knows had she done that, she may have been giving her former partner time to beat her to the punch, so to speak.

      Stop thinking of yourself, and think of others.

      I’m a man and I approved this message. LOL

      You’re just a shallow asshole

    7. I think most people are bound to see the “bigger picture” and are capable of empathy. The site is likely not to be down for long-term, and since she has not even been paid in months…why should she be required to maintain the domain (unless there is a legal contract)? Should her partner not have been more civil, and they could have exchange ownership?

    8. Are you lot crazy or what???
      Collarme had a lot of disgruntled users. I was there for years & i’ve never seen so many complaints from users.
      It’s funny, isn’t it, that society 31 is mentioned a lot in these coments. It’s also funny that the terms & conditions, in some parts of that site are written almost word for word like collarme’s were.
      I’ve just been on there to check it out & low & behold, just like collarme, it doesn’t work properly.
      A way to carry on & hopefully loose the disgruntled users/worsening reputation!
      Collarme isn’t down, they’ve just changed it’s name & created this alaborate advertising Campaign.

      1. You’re correct. Whois ownership of the Collarme domain name is for one Sondra Lambert, no one named Tiffany, and she’s from Maryland, not NYC or CA.

        The whois data from society31 is private but I suspect the person who owned the servers/data did this to push Sondra out.

    9. I don’t want to appear that I’m speaking for or on behalf of Tiffany, but I think you need to pull your head out of your ass. Did you not read that she’s tried to achieve her goal without resorting to such drastic measures? Or are you that selfish that you can’t go for a few hours or even days without being on the site which, as she so succinctly put, has begun to fall apart? This site has become crap in the last few years. In my opinion, when you have exhausted all options, the only option left is to pull the plug. This is business. Her business. Stop whining, put on your big boy pants, and suck it up.

      Tiff, do what you gotta do and ignore the idiots.

    10. Connalssir, it’s always nice to see someone with compassion. If the story is true (benefit of the doubt), Tiffany is totally in her right. I agree with Heather you are an ASSHOLE! In fact I agree with everything she says.

      Thanks Heather
      Good luck Tiffany

    11. You “Sir” are a moron. The sympathy is everywhere on this blog to see as your comment is the only one I’ve read so far which is selfish and self-absorved. When I read Tiffany’s story I think she should have done this long time ago. The fact that she kept trusting this “partner” is beyond me and perhaps sadly her only mistake in all of this.

      Best of luck Tiffany. I hope that scumbag gets what he deserves.

    12. If any of these” connections”are meaningful then surely you put them in your other messaging apps, get their telephone, or their physical addy. Stop whining cause you didn’t do so.

  8. As a couple seeking a live in female slave (still searching) we found your site and your hard work a treasure trove of help. i am sorry this has had to go down like this and wish you luck in the future

  9. I read your story and as an entreprenuer and business owner totally agree with you. I feel you should stand your ground as he doesnt understand the reality here. Good luck and dont let go. If you go to sell the domain name you should make a couple of thousand due to the backlinks. Contact me if you need to know best place to do so. His loss, not yours, this is why america is falling apart.

  10. I have been with Collarme almost since the beginning, and I have indeed seen the changes you’ve spoken of. I shall miss the site, and the friends I made there.
    I however understand totally what has happened, and why. I shall look forward to the opening of a new and improved version, sometimes in the future.
    In the meantime, I wish you all the best, and shall keep you and your family in my thoughts.
    Blessed be
    Paula (bratkyt)

  11. Once everything is solved, build another site, you have the experience and you will be successful.
    Cheers and good luck from another kinky business owner.

  12. Your partner is a total dick.I hope your daughter is getting better and things turn out for you in your favor.

    1. So many people passing judgement! Other parties have not been heard. Seems like a lady who has totally mismanaged her business affairs, got knocked up when she couldn’t afford to, travels extensively by air on money she doesnt have, and now wants the world to sympathise with her when events reach their logical conclusion. If I found myself in business with such a person I would want out immediately. The lady appears to be significantly mentally unstable.=toussaint.

  13. *teardrop* without cm however will i find last minute couches to sleep on. I suppose now I shall have to give up my vagabond lifestyle and settle down… Probably get married *shudder*

    In all seriousness though I loved the site, the idea behind it, and even its quirks were fun… I am losing my mind over the decades worth of journals that I didn’t know would be disappearing this morning but I’ll have to suck it up and deal *chest pump*

    Now to proceed with my cm detox….

    1. feel bad tiffany ok but she was wrong didn’t tell me she taking down the site and she should send her email ok to me thinking she did this because to save face and she was hurt and lie to so other people fire her and she didn’tpay the site person for many months ok any other else got out tiffany got sick ok do understand that

  14. Best of luck to you and your family. I’m so sorry you are going through this.

    I hope everything turns out for the best.

    Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

  15. All your actions are justified. If you would like help creating a new website I am willing to lend a hand as I have HTML coding skills, I require no pay and feel that in the position you are in you need the most help you can get. Contact me via ipad.001.1@gmail.com

  16. sorry to hear about it. I haven’t been called innocent in a long time. Any suggestion as to where we innocents can find one another again?

  17. It is a shame that fear and greed can ruin the best of friendships. Of course there are always two sides to every story. However, if what you wrote is entirely factual, then I want to wish you all the very best and hope that either start your own site or find a way to bring life back to CM.

  18. I can only reiterate the comments left previously and wish you all the best in your current challenges and that they come to a speedy resolution. I would also like to thank you for many years of opportunity to make friends with like minded souls as I have.

    Best regards


  19. Wow… That is quite a story. I hope that guy rots.

    I hope you start a new site. For all the fakes, and all the pro’s, there was still some good kind hearted people. Lost newbies, looking for answers, after being swept off to the side by FL and their unusable Facebook-like interface. I can’t count how many people I helped, just by being a person that would listen to them and give advice.

    What you need is someone to take your case on consignment and make him homeless. Failing that, I’m sure someone would be more than willing to break his fingers and legs so he can never code again and he sits crippled in the corner.

    I wish you and your family the best of luck, and all the bad things that are supposed to happen to you in the future end up in his lap. What a piece of shit, to do that to a friend of so many years.

  20. There are a lot of people, Myself included, who have met like minded friends and lovers here and I ask the ‘partner’ to do what is right for your old friend as well as the CM community and get your act together!

  21. I fully support you in closing down the site and it really does show how greed affects us all. Wishing you well in your dispute and would be interested in the site you are thinking of starting.

    I wish you and your family all the best and hope your daughter will live a long full life.


  22. It was nice to learn there is a real person behind the site, been a part of it for many years and I concur, much of it was becoming a forum for net prostitutes and so-called “findommes” as well as fakes of all kinds on both sides. The early years were truly best before the site was “discovered”. Wish you the best with this situation and hope it ends well for you.

  23. So sorry to hear this sad news, ive been using collar me for years now and ive met some really great people. Such a shame it cant be saved.

    Good luck in the future and your happy with your new life.


  24. I fully support you in this, your partner is a horrible person and businessman!! If you are interested, I am a computer scientist and would be more than happy to help you build a much better version of CM! Please contact me if interested.

  25. The site has been sliding a long time with scammers and people who were only about for a few hours, so it closing is not a big issue really as its just a place to kill time these days.

    Good luck to you ad sorry you have had such a bad run lately, that sucks for anyone, worse when it involves little ones etc.

    All the best.


  26. Should it be technically possible, we would appreciate progress results as to your daughter’s condition.

    Had reached an encouraging position with one of the members but had not exchanged email address – oh well!

    Perhaps closure of the site may bring your erstwhile partner to his senses.

    Take care and thank you

  27. ok, i sympathize with you, as everyone has its own personal problems and collarme was a good site to meet people with common interests and get out for sometime from everydays problems, BUT at least you couldn’t give us a day prior notice that the site was going down so we can arrange something with the people that we were talking to?

    1. Deal with it and get a life. This woman explained her problems and all you care about is yourself. Shame on you.

  28. Hi Tiffany,

    First off, I’m sorry to hear what you’ve gone through and hopefully this action will cause your “partner” to set aside your differences and give you your fair share.

    That being said – I am a software/web developer and have been considering building a site like Collarme.com for quite some time because of the reasons you stated above.

    If you do decide to pursue creating a new site in the future, I’d be happy to lend my services to such a venture. I’ve enjoyed my time on your site, but have seen so much room for improvement and want to use my skills to help create something that the community can really benefit from and enjoy.

    Please don’t hesitate to contact me for more details when all this blows over.

    Thanks for all the good times.

    1. Hi Anthony, there is no way of retrieving contacts from the site unless the admin opens the domain again. where you tonyzz? if so i was talking to you my id is suzie51_au@yahoo.com
      if your interested in staying in contact with people from collarme, i would suggest leave a messenger id or email on this page with your nickname on collarme

  29. To hell with the site. There are alternatives. There is not alternative for a health baby, however, and my thoughts are with you for her recovery.

  30. As a user, I won’t complain about the loss. As you alluded in your piece, the site has gone horribly downhill and is now mainly a hive of scammers and thieves.

    On your personal situation, I hope it all works out for you.

  31. I’m sorry to hear of your child’s health problems and hope that you continue to solve those. The burden of a business relationship and friendship souring at the same time is something you can clearly do without. Collarme is not your most important issue at the moment and I support your actions to cause your former partner to finalise your settlement and allow you to focus on your child – we can survive without CM while you sort this out – good luck – KoT

  32. Tiffany, I am so sorry to read your story. I’ve been here since 2009, and just back today after a long break… just replied two new contacts. I sincerely hope that things get solved, and most of all I wish all the best to your daughter.

  33. Hi

    Sorry to hear all this. I hoep you find a way to solved this problem and helps your situation.

    I wish you the best!!

    Eelke (netherlands)

  34. I am so sorry for what you are going through with your daughter! I know that is very difficult and many questions come your mind. It takes a special person and strength to handle such adversity. I pray you will have that strength renewed daily and for your daughters health!

  35. I’ll pray for your daughter’s health.

    As far as your business choices for the website…what else could you have done? Pursue what is your due from that venture. Eventually, when your personal life permits, start something new. After all, it was kinda time for a new start anyhow…no? It’s obvious that you were the “soul” of the old site. Unchecked, just imagine what you could do with a fresh site!

    Wishing you all the best of luck,


  36. im sorry to hear your problems, your sad story,
    and i think its better to change your ways,
    men can not do more for you,
    find the truth of world,
    and we can just prey for you and hope have better and best times in your life.
    (sorry my english is bad)

  37. I am so very sorry to see things go the way they have. You, Tiffany, have gone above and beyond in your service to the BDSM community. You need to give your family and, above all, your daughter the attention they deserve now. I have website building skills and a few ideas of my own, so I would be interested in helping to rebuild the site or one like it if you or anyone else is interested in doing so.

  38. I miss Collarme!. However given the problems you have had, I would agree that you had no choice, and support you in your actions. Perhaps you could build a new Collarme if you cannot come to an agreement.

  39. Sorry to hear about your problems with a greedy son-of-a-_ _ _ _ h, but I guess that’s the way life goes for some of us. I do hope you get all things worked out and get the site back up and going soon. I will miss it for now, but will be looking forward to when it comes back.
    Good luck.

  40. Just want to mention that I started a channel on IRC Freenode as #collarme if anyone wants to join to discuss anything relevant to the situation.


    1. If you’ve lost someone or unable to contact someone without the use of CollarMe.com. Try the IRC channel I posted above. You may be able to re-gain contact with that special someone.

  41. I am surprised and saddened to hear what has transpired. I will agree, having used CM off and on for 12 years, that the quality of members has gone downhill, but there is a reflection of what people think they can get away with, and not a reflection of the makers of the site.

    I found it rather funny that I checked it an hour ago and it existed and now it doesn’t. I suspect it will be addressed shortly, though. After all, money is money.

  42. I’m so sorry to hear this. I met my SO through CM, so it will always have a significant place in my heart. I really hope things work out for you and your family.

  43. I think there might be a way to fix this, I to am a domain holder for a website in progress, I have a small team of developers and programmers and have a extensive business background, I love collarme its a great place to escape and has been a symbol for BDSM for some time. I don’t want to see the site fail so please reach out to me and look for a solution.

  44. I am very sorry to hear about your daughter’s condition, and I hope you and she are fully recovered soon.
    Take care and best of luck!


  45. I wish you the best of luck. I wish the best for you , your daughter and the site. What ever happens to the site happens. But I want the best for you and daughter.

  46. Ouch

    that’s gotta hurt you all

    How frustrating for everyone involved (well except for the attorneys etc of course)

    It might be worth looking into getting some proper funding to establish control / ownership etc

    If you’d like to discuss,please drop me a line

    Good Luck in any event


  47. I met someone on CM who became one of the most significant persons in my life. My life was enriched because of you and I am sorry you have to go through this, especially with your daughter’s heart condition. I hope things work out for you and that you come out of this stronger and in much better shape.

    What your former partner is doing is not only legally wrong, but morally despicable. Karma will catch up with him, and she can be a mean bitch.

    I’ll be glad to help in any way I can.

  48. While I am certainly very sad to see the demise of CM (as I have also been in witnessing the deterioration of the site’s quality over the past few years) given your explanation I completely understand.

    Buried amongst the increasing flood of scammers, fakes and others you have built a base of loyal and honest users (I have made some new and long term friends and aquaintances through your hardwork and perseverance) who appreciate your dedication and efforts to provide a forum and site crafted for our interests.

    I wish you well, your daughter good health and hope to find your new site if or when it launches.


  49. Enjoyed collarme for many many years, and hate to see it come to this. If you start a new one, I would sure like to know! Thanks, and good luck with your numerous and quite serious (your daughter, for the most part ) concerns.

  50. Tiffany,
    My first thought after reading this was,
    she should have given us a PayPal email address
    so we could donate money to both causes,
    the health of your daughter,
    and the resurrection of CollerMe.
    Consider it.

  51. yikes. I can understand the dilemma you’re in. As a long time member, I’ve met some amazing people and had countless hours of fun on the site. I’ve endured some good business partnerships and many that didn’t work.

    While your move is going to create a whole new set of problems with your former partner, I understand you needed to make a move.

    It so happens I frequented Findoms.com a few times and own a web development company. I saw opportunity and created a similar website, with much more social functionality than CM. While this isn’t my core competency, the site is not live nor is it promoted. I don’t want to run a site like CM or FD. But I have the site.

    Please email me. We could redirect your domain and I’d be happy to give you anything you wanted, I’m not looking to monetize, just a free ethical playground to play in.

  52. Tiffany,

    As the father of an autistic son I very much understand the difficulties surrounding a special needs child. Know that you have done the right thing for your family and that anyone not in a position to understand simply has their own self interests in mind. I suggest to you that you let your attorney handle things with the goal to ask your former partner and friend for him to accept the revenues up until that he has received to be HIS severence and that he be under the same stipulation in regards to the non-compete portion of your contract. Otherwise demand that he provide proof of income and dispersements for any timeframe that you request in the form of an interrogatory (which has a court mandated time for him to respond) or he will find himself in contempt of court and face jail time until he complies and a possible fine (depending on california law which I am unfamiliar) At least then you will know what you are dealing with and how much money he has pocketed. You can then prove that he has defrauded you of money that you were entitled to and that will give you a better position in which to negotiate. Your court case will be civil AND criminal because he has stolen from you. Im sure it will resolve itself quickly after that if your attorney is of reputable character and went to a legitimate law school. I would then suggest you EMPLOY a web development company that is familiar with wordpress (if you wish to stay with this format) and let them handle the tech side FOR you. You still have control of your website and can monitor everything from traffic to your affiliate revenue. That would give you plenty of time to focus on what is important….your daughter. If you need anymore information or advice do not hesitate to email me.
    Good Luck


  53. I am so sorry to hear such bad news, it is such a shame that you have had to take such action, l hope that in time you will find a way to start another site .
    Good luck and thank you


  54. I’m sorry the situation has gotten to this point but it sounds like you have tried everything to resolve it. I hope that this leads to a much improved site in the future, and that the financial profits can make caring for your daughter a bit easier.

  55. I guess your friend is one of those clueless Doms that the subs complain about. Anyone who would squeeze out the domain owner is just asking for this.

  56. Sorry to hear about the health of your child and the difficulties you have had financially and trying to get along with your “partner”.

    Fully supporting your actions 100% no matter how that has affected my own personal connection with a girl I met on collarme.

    Take care and God bless.

  57. sorry but just because your co-owner of the site did that to you shouldn’t mean you f over 1000’s of people. take his ass off it and keep the site up. i already had to make a new profile on there because my other one vanished and lost all mail and now i get emailed saying i have mail last nite and i can’t even go read it because you did this that is just crap. as there is NO other site’s out there even close to Collarme what so ever.

    1. Your a shameful terrible person…. This lady is going through so much and all you care about is your own selfish needs. Shameful

    2. CollarMe isn’t the end of your life. Also, it isn’t as simple as her “keeping the site up” considering he has access to the servers…she only has access to the domain.

  58. What a complete and utter narcisstic individual. Where is the empathy? I feel for you and you’re doing the right thing. Good luck.

  59. Very sorry to hear of such difficulties – on both fronts – thanks so much for all your efforts, and your explanations. Best of luck resolving things – take as long as you need (but maybe email us when (if) you get things resolved and the site reopened?)

  60. Hey, you go girl! You do what you have to, and always keep in mind family first…

    I wonder… If you own the domain, and you DON’T take the settlement with the non-compete, could you just create your own and say FO? I’m sure a lot of people would support you.

  61. I admit I was completely confused, and thought I was in the hands of a Nigerian scammer. But what a story. I enjoyed your site and work very much. Though it is indeed strange to see how people fake as much s they like and don’t really show much respect. But I have had some interesting contacts, and it helped me understand myself better.
    As for you, I wish you the best in the world and lets pray and hope for your daughter to be well! Nothing is so precious as dear life!
    If you need some kind of help, just ask, and I am sure many will come to your rescue. We owe that to you!

    1. that comment is of very bad taste.

      while I do agree that men should lead and women follow women are more than capable of leading and taking control in the absence of a responsible man. it’s just that we men should make sure to always provide for our females so they don’t need to bear this burden and do our job.

      to say that women aren’t capable of doing anything men do and do it as good as we do is pure misogyny. they are as capable as us. it’s just we need to share the burdens and roles of life and leading is a role that fits better with men. not because we are better at it but because women are (or should be) busy doing other roles that are more appropriate for them)

      1. Does it not seem strange to you that the greedy partner would be a opposed to a foot fetish ad that would have brought in a lot of revenue?

  62. Incredible! Being a parent myself I sympathize. I hope it gets resolved the way you want.
    Your partner or former partner is a true jerk. I hope he gets what’s coming to him and you get things resolved in your favor.

  63. A sad story. There are two sides to every story however I do understand the reasons for your actions. I agree with Somfp that Unfortunately, the site was becoming nothing but a haven for scammers, fakes, pro dommes, and findommes, aka net prostitutes and money grabbers. I did enjoy the site and hope these issues (both your personal issues and the issues with what the site) get resolved and the site comes back on-line for good honest people who have an interest in the fetishes and BDSM. However I think for this to happy the site needs some good honest people to run the site. Good luck,

    sub gareth

  64. I knew something was messed up. Found a person using the pic of a friend’s wife as their own and yet my posts were taken down alerting people of the theft of photos.

  65. Wow. Thank you for being so forthcoming and direct in public like this. I hope you can resolve this in a fair way so you can focus on the important things in your life. Very few things in life hurt like being betrayed by a close friend. Good luck to you and your family.

  66. While i completely sympathize it would have been nice to have a warning so that some of us just getting started with promising partners could have exchanged information re getting in touch other than on collarme.com. As we thought we would have this site it was not imperative that we do so, now we are likely never to communicate again.

  67. ..Your explanation is, for me, obviously from the heart and makes a powerful statement
    ..firstly i can only wish and Your daughter well, and that she will have

  68. Glad to see you’ve remained strong throughout these ordeals. Wishing you the best of luck. We hope things are resolved quickly, and amicably for you.

  69. A shame that all this happened. I have met so many wonderful people here. Wish there was a way to still be in touch with those I have been talking to.

      1. Why is there a 7 hour time difference from my time to the time of the posted message? Is this site run in England?

  70. Very sorry to hear your troubles. I now have lost contact with my friend from there called ‘somethingdifferent’. Hopefully he will read this and contact me on my Email @live.co.uk

    1. Apparently not everyone sees this, and people still get to the site, I can’t log in Myself, but others are still there, so I don’t know what this is all about, but it stinks.


  71. Evening,

    I am a software/web developer and have been considering making a site exactly like collarme for quite some time now.

    collarme had horrible java work done on it and didn’t look like much, although functioning and responsive, it was a pain to look at.

    I could have a functioning, decent looking collarme type site up within the next week, coded from scratch in php and some jquery, and yes, the geosearch function will fully work lol

    I could really use your experience and expertise in the field, do feel free to contact me if you are interested in starting from scratch and partnering up with myself.

    I wish you the best of luck.


    1. Hi, Ben,
      I’d like to hear from you privately. Please send me a message to my email address, and I will be able to reach you.

  72. and other thing you can’t shut down the site while you are dealing with him about what he has done after yes but not before. do you see cable or sattalite company’s turning off channels when there in talks over the contract NO you don’t because they can’t do so till after and then that’s only if the do not come to an agreement. same go’s for Collarme.com you can’t shut it down till after your issue is dealt with so as of right now you have no legal right to shut the site down and f over the 1000’s of user’s of the site as your in breach of the contract that we the user’s agree to which mean’s you could be sued because of it as well and i do not think you would want to deal with that same time as all this. and this crap with your co-owner of the site is a personal issue and should not effect any of the user’s of the site we didn’t make you pick him as a co-owner of you did that on your own. so i will add turn it back on before you get sued for breach of contract and i for one will do just that.

    1. she can do whatever she wants with the domain collarme.com since it’s legally hers and from what I have understood there’s no legal contract stating she must let anybody use it for free to do anything.

      the data of the site is safe but without a domain to access it so it has become more or less worthless.

      1. then i guess you just don’t get it it’s that same as a cable or sat going over a channel contract. they can not and do not turn it off inless the deal don’t work out as they are under contract. same go’s for this the user’s are under a contract to follow the rule’s. so no she don’t have any right to do what she did intill the issue’s is taken care of one way or the other so she is in the wrong sorry to say it. i think i know what i am talking about here she is in breach of the contract ever user agrees to when they make a profile.

        1. ff, that’s just not true. Yes, cable companies do turn off channels when they’re past the negotiation point with certain channels. It happened just last year with Viacom and Time Warner Cable. Did you even Google this before spouting out nonsense? Fox was blacked out for two weeks by Cablevision. Do you expect them to provide the service for free?

          Tiffany I completely understand. I support you in this.

        2. @ff

          I am not sure what you mean about breach of contract.

          Imagine Jen and Jim decide to start a cab company together. He owns the cab and she owns the company. When people call for a cab, Jen takes the phone and tells Jim where to to pick up the customer.

          Then one day Jim and Jen have a falling out where Jim won’t forward any of the money from the cab rides to Jen, so she is taking the phone for free and can’t afford food while drive around picking up random people on the street and charge whatever he like.
          In frustration, she shut down the cab company because he has the car and she can’t function well as a cab company in that situation.

          Your argument is that because people relied on calling Jen to get the cab, Jen is in the wrong because she won’t pick up the phone anymore, and you completely disregard the fact that she has no cab to send to you…

          Tiffany owned the address collarme.com that you would go to in your program. Her former friend owned the server that would let you chat. HE TOOK the server, so going to collarme.com doesn’t work anymore. You can talk about breach of contract, but you won’t get anywhere with that argument. And their personal argument cannot really be kept hidden from people in this situation…

        3. This is a business but shes using it like a little girl throwing a tantrum! “Its my toy and if you dont play my way im taking my toy and going home! So there!”
          Grow up already for christ sake…
          And the poeple giving her all this praise??? Really??? Just because she says it in type you believe her??? Because she knows who to get to vouge for her and say its true??? Are you that gullible??? That easy to manipulate??? What next read her book of gospel??? How the sympathy card works! We yes we… none have yet to hear the other side? How can you accept her words alone are true??? No professional business person would ever take part of using a business hostage. The main concern would be the subcribers not the person/s running it..
          Shes cutting your nose to spite his face and you praise her for it on what is suppose to be a business site???
          If its true and we dont know that it is I only feel for this so called child??? But shes not doing anything in helping her so called baby by taking over shutting down the site. Have any of you ever wonder who was the one deleteing your profiles??? Getting upset they did it and never letting you know why?? Did you really think it was him??? And now she wants your sympaththy???
          I expect her to start deleting negative comments when she feels its safe to. After all who’ll notice??? They’re easy to manipulate this blog proves it… I cant believe how easy it is to have people believe you if you play the sympathy card well. Im sure if you can play music on this blog she would have a viloin in the background! Im sorry I for one hope she doesnt win anything. Shes not professional to have any say. This is her doing and now she wants everyone to pay for her mistake and anger. To use a child for sympathy no eh eh. Thats low for anyone to do.

          1. As far as i’m concerned it’s all a bit suspect.
            The fact that she has gone to the trouble & effort of creating this blog but, seemingly, didn’t have time to give users any prior warning.
            It’s a sad tale indeed, one which i don’t believe for a second.
            The fact that she has decided to share this tale of woe with the world, as a kind of revenge against her ‘partner’.
            Even if it were true, the partner not lowering himself by retaliating publcly here says a lot.
            I wonder who’s being the adult here!

          2. By posting under”anonymous” I’m guessing you are either Her ex-partner or someone affiliated with him.

        4. it seems it’s you who don’t get it.

          first of all there’s no contract saying she must let anybody use HER domain for anything so she is legally free to use collarme.com for whatever she wants at any time without breaking any contract since there’s none to break to begin with.

          this alone ruins your cable/channel contract example.

          second. the users of the web aren’t in a legal contract with her. they agree to follow some policies when using a web so at most they are in a “contract” with the owner of the web not with the owner of the domain. so again she has no responsibility to warn anybody about collarme losing the use of collarme.com

          if you want to complain about anything go and find the owner of collarme (the web) and stop harassing the owner of the collarme.com domain since she isn’t responsible of anything.

    2. Get a friggin life… You should be ashamed of yourself for writing such a note after hearing her story. Your a terrible person and should hold your head down in shame.

    3. The service is free the ability to register for the service is not a contract! Sueing anyone for the loss of a free service is honestly silly! We must maintain some emotional intelligence about this and recognize that there is an issue that needs to be resolved! I hope that people will find another way to find their loved ones but attacking Tiffany for exercising her rights is unreasonable! Good luck to all and I look forward to a new site!

    4. That’s funny that you use the word “can’t” and “can.” Clearly she already has…your opinion has no hold over the matter, especially considering your lack of understanding all of the details necessary to reach such a decision.

    5. It’s never been down. It’s called society 31 now & this is just an elaborate advertising ploy.
      Read some of the ts & cs on that site & see if the wording rings a bell, assuming you read cm’s of course.
      Also, you notice that that site also doesn’t work properly either.

    6. You just need to calm down dude lol shes dealing with her own personal issue if she wants to shut it down then let her unless you of course were paying some sort of fee but I think you weren’t soooooooooo yeah learn to calm ur tits breh

  73. Your explanation is, obviously, for me , from the heart and makes a powerful statement
    ..firstly, i can only wish you and your daughter well and hope and pray that she has a life worth living..
    your” partner” is, yet again, a classical example of one of the basics of D/s..when the immature male ego comes into play, which it does about 24/7, destruction rears its ugly head.;what he basically needs is a good whipping and chastity for a year or so..!!..but, you will say, i digress
    ..i wish you all the luck in the world with whatever you undertake

  74. That is a harrowing story, and one that I certainly hope has a happy ending coming. I too would like to extend a helping hand in this matter. Good luck Tiffany

  75. Don’t worry about the website, take care of you and your family! Perhaps a CM member is a lawyer and can take on your partner and get all the present contracts voided and someday a new version of YOUR CM will come about.

  76. i just wanted to let you know that i can still access the site through my cell phone. i understand why you took the site down so i figure you would want to know.

  77. Thank you for this extremely detailed and open explanation Tiffany; you didn’t have to explain yourself to anyone yet you have done exactly that. I hope everything turns out exactly the way you desire it to; whatever that may be.

    Best of luck to you and your family.

  78. Hi Tiffany,
    I too have enjoyed CM and see that it brought our community together. I am interested in helping you if you would like it. I have years of experience with business strategy, marketing , websites etc.
    I can be reached at tallandfitexec@gmail.com.

  79. You have my support in whatever you do. I am sure you will pull through, you are a fighter..my thoughts are with you :)

  80. Sorry you had to go through all this, Tiffany. Hang in there, things will get better. I am a computer engineer with some basic knowledge on web desing, let me know if you are recruiting volunteers at some point.

  81. Sorry this all went down. But I, like many other people, have suddenly become cut off from a large group of friends. No way to communicate with many of them now =(

  82. I have often thought why the site looks how it does. I guess this all makes a lot of sense. It really could have been so much more. I met my wife on this site. Even though it lacks, the general idea was there and I think a lot of people gravitated to that. I think your partner will change his mind fairly quick when his revenue is not coming in. Do not ease up on him, get what is clearly owed to you. Best of luck.

  83. Thanks for keeping this website running all that time. Although I’m sad if this were to go down, I think you did the right thing, you’ve accepted his lies and toxic behavior for too long.
    If you are going to build a new site, feel free to let me know, I am a developer/sysadmin and am willing to help here and there.
    Good luck resolving this!

  84. Well. Frustrating as not being able to talk with the people I’d talk to on here, I understand why you’ve pulled the site. And frankly, I hope the miserable bastard that put you in this position gets what he deserves.

  85. Wow, this is pretty shocking but so is your story. Having been on here probably 9 years or so and met a lot of great people but also seeing the site sink down into a cesspool this leaves me with mixed feeling. You can certainly see why the site became what it is now, it totally took on your scumbag partner’s personality.

    Best of luck to you and your family and RIP to CM.

  86. Thank you for all your hard work and dedication at Collarme. You made the kinky corner of the Internet a wonderful place and I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

    I sincerely send my well wishes to you and your family.

  87. I hope you get back on line soon, I was in the middle of an important conversation with lady named Rita,, and she can reach me at MasterSeth9999@@gmail.com

    Thanks and good luck to you.

  88. Well we are only hearing your side of the story, but I agree entirely with your course of action! Stuff the litigation, hit the so and so where it hurts, in the pocket!

    I wish you well with any new venture!

  89. Was wondering why the search engine was kinda lame in choices. Bummer about the partner, but i guess he didn’t realize that little domain name thing was kinda important on the web…
    I’m sure you’ll sell it to him for a fair price….
    see y’all on fetlife!

  90. Thank you for your hard work! I joined the site when the chat room option started out. What fun that Lobby was! The Mods team was exceptional and I sat with them for years before it became obsolete.

    You are right in all you stated about how it was, where it went…. Sometimes things need to change. It’s time Tiffany. Thank you for all that you’ve done.

    Here is to hoping that things work out for you and yours.

  91. I understand the reason behind this to an extent, but this is business, and there are real people behind many of these profiles. This ‘business’ involved many personal interactions.

    Now we are just cut off completely, without warning?

    I’m sorry, but all though I am a very caring person, I think this is a VERY bad way for a business to conduct itself.

    I’m very disappointed the way it was handled, as I believe you should have thought of the hundreds of users that are sincere in using the site, and found a way to solve this, without affecting their personal life in such a rude and abrupt manner!

    At the very least, you could have found a way to allow a member to continue to communicate to those they were in contact with, if only just to send an e-mail address, so arrangements that were being made, could have continued.

    I have ran my own business in the past, and have learned that you must keep it business, and can not bring your personal life into it.

    All though many sympathize, they were using the business to conduct business and personal interactions, and there could be many VERY important plans in place, that should never be interrupted because of a business owner’s personal problems.

    This is MY opinion only, and I’m sure not agreed on by everyone, but it IS, MY opinion.

    Miss Diana

    1. ‘Important plans’ ? For the love of God… You and so many other purple really are sad examples in our society. This was not a site trying to end hunger.. Or cure a disease. No.. No ‘important plans’ were taking place. You need to step back and get some perspective.

      1. tsk, tsk. Feel sorry for the cyber sexers who must now masturbate alone. On the other hand, the Ghanian and Nigerian employees of the scammers must now go out and find real jobs, so their economies may improve. The adolescent boys who enjoyed pestering female subs will have to find a new pastime. The adolescent girls with no job skills will have to look for sugardaddies elsewhere or learn to get along with their parents. The young girls who enjoyed teasing doms will have time to learn to give real blowjobs.

    2. I agree whole heartedly this is a business. She took our trust as subcribers and holding it hostage for her own so called justifiable reasons and means. What does this say about her as owner/ part owner? That her subscibers mean nothing! I am sorry about her child I really am. Her business dealings are of her own making not ours. Im glad she wasnt and isnt owner / part owner of Yahoo or Google. You dont take matters into your own hands when it comes to business with ones personal problems. I for one would like to know where she goes after loosing CM, so I dont subscribe. For now I hope your baby does get better but all does not go in your favor unless you deserve it as a professionl in any field. So far you havent and I dont see her replying to any replies we have posted??? So she hasnt even taken time to do that. highly unprofessional just wanting sympathic ears not the cons only the pros!

      1. Actually for her in reading her story it isn’t a business its a loss. When a company’s owners are no longer making money (or here never really making any) they don’t stay open. They close sometimes money is made and there reopened so in this instance it is the perfect business move. Many companies have done this

    3. i agree..

      some one who has worked on the site before… and owned the domain name.. should have been smart and more methodical in starting a property war..id rank this site as top 5 Kink site in the world its worth alot of gold nipple clamps.

      alls fair in love and war.. but dont shoot urself in the foot, when u come at the king u better not miss..

    4. Unfortuneitly they wont agree she has them very well with sympathy. The thing is if she does gain back control and begins to delete profiles she doesnt feel meet her spects they will wonder what??? who??? where will her sympathy be then? She didnt need to show sympathy to subcribers before? But she wants it now? This is highly unprofessional standards for any one. They dont see her actions only for sympathy she wants. This person needs to grow up. Shes not the only one with a hardship and betrayal story. Act the grown up and be the professional shes suppose to be in running operating a business. Personal business doesnt belong in real business. You made your own bed stop trying to put your subscribers in it along with you. Its of your own making and doing. You made the choices that put you in this situation not your subscribers. None of this is helping your child only your satisfaction. This has nothing at all to do with business or the lifestyle only your mistakes you made with bad choices. Now you want everyone to pay for them because you feel betrayed. Its called life it happens to everyone. Some cant or wont get passed it. Use your time and energ y to help your child because this is not going to not anytime soon, maybe not ever! All its for is spite and anger. You cant let go its your toy! It must be hard to look at your so called child thats so called Ill and think this is going to help her to justify punishing everyone to punish one person.
      You should be using your time and energy doing it legally with attorneys not taking things in your own hands. Or is it you dont have money because of so called medical expenses? Or dont want to pay attorneys why should you? So money is a factor even if it means to help your child? When there are attorneys who will do it for a percentage and you dont want that either it seems? So CM is suppose to be worth half a mil and you cant find an attorney who will do it for a percentage? Hard to believe? Especially in California where CM is suppose to be. As inPro Bono til a win or settlement no fees up front. Theres lots of good attorneys willing to take civil suit for a percentage of half a mil. It sounds like you want your cake and eat it to. Sometimes you have to lose some to get some even a little bit but you want it all. Thats how strong your spite seems to be by doing this and not just about a child.
      How many people here have gone through betrayal and with children who need medical attention and you feel your the only one its happening to. How can I write this?
      I was a single parent with such a child and no one helped me. I had to move forward not blaming anyone but myself for the choices I made that put me in that place. Doesnt make me a better person just that you have to go forward not blame and punish others. For the sake of my child I took steps that meant letting other things go to work on things that would help . Not let myself get stuck in the mare. CM is your mare and you cant let go and its not doing anything for your child now. You dont want to take bitter pills. Try selling your vehicles and ride the bus for 6yr just to have money for your childs medical expenses including hospital stays, No? How about giving 12 years of your life working two full time jobs working hard sleeping for 6 hours so that the other parent can earn a degree? Still No? You find out the other parent is calling they’ll be late. To find out they’re having an affair while your taking car of this infant child thats ill and they’re cheating on you? Still not betrayal enough?
      Just what are you willing to let go for your child or do that will help now? Not that you havent but how much? how far? It seems not all. Point being you want sympathy for what so many others have gone and are still going through. What have you given to help other children before yours was born? I gave before mine was because my parents have. I still do especially because of what mine went through knowing there are other children needing help. But it seems you feel your the only one. There fore let it be written let it be done. Your situation is more special then others. I do hope nothing but good for any child or baby. But no sympathy for any parent who feels his or her situation is unique and uses that to gain sympathy and attention for any reason.
      This isnt about a business, or a child needing care, or this site. Its about spite and not being able to let go of being betrayed

  92. I wish you the best of luck with your family. I hope thinngs with your daughter improve quickly. Good luck with all the legal crap, and if you ever do strike out on your own keep us in mind. The site had become a joke, and a haven for scammers and money grubbers. No matter what may come I wish you and your family the best of luck, and nothing but good health.

  93. Thanks for all the years of this wonderful website, and sorry to hear how things have turned out.

    whilst i dont know you, i have been on this website daily for many years and feels like we are close friends. so i wish you all the best, and if their is anyway I could assist, i would bemore than happy to help

    all the be louy

  94. I am so sorry to hear about what happened here. I had no idea about what was going on behind the scenes. CM was a good place to meet others, and a great place to learn from others. I have met so may here at parties and gatherings, and wish there was another site like this one out there. I hope this does get resolved, and that the site may come back up. So sad that it all came to this. I don’t know about the online traffic, but I would guess thousands come here every day. My thoughts and prayers are out there for your daughter and family, and hope things get resolved in a mature adult fashion.

  95. I am very disappointed that you have had to shut down Collar Me, but do understand the problem can only be solved in this manner. If I knew the man, I would reach out to him, but perhaps closing down the site and allowing him to experience the loss of revenue is a better and more productive lesson. Please notify me if there is anything that I can do and I hope that you will consider starting your own site for the BDSM community. I wish that you would consider putting the site back up long enough for many of us to contact friends we have made on here and give them our email addresses so we do not lose contact. Thank you for all that you have done and my best to your precious daughter.

  96. Sorry… So sad news. I just want to take the time and thank all of those who created and ran this wonderful site. Although quality had gone down last couple of years. But this is the site who made me who I am today. This is where I first time learnt about BDSM, There were some bad moments, But in the end its sad for you and all of us :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  97. Tiffany,

    While I don’t know you, nor all the details of both sides of the story, I am sorry to read about the illness of your child. Focus on the baby, and getting the needed treatment. We old perverts may have lost contact with our internet chatting, but the health of a child and parent are more important.

    Don’t let people groucing get you down. If you did what you think was right, that’s what matters.

    The Hermit
    Hermit_Dom on yahoo.

  98. ff is NOT narcissistic! They are expressing their feelings, as we all have the right to do. This has affected many of us, in a very personal way.

    There absolutely should have been something set up, to allow those who are SINCERE members, to continue contact with those they have been speaking to.

    1. The owner of the database could have sent all user an email , as we all have a contact email, with the new name. Why has that not happened?

  99. Tiffany, you have our unconditional support! Society31.com is here to help those trying to connect with friends. We are a free bdsm dating site.

    1. society 31 is this a place, they are getting free advertising?
      they are overwhelmed.

      They are very small and their servers are very slow… it took 2-3 minutes for a search to tell me about the other few member from Georgia.

  100. i wish you the best with your family and completely understand and support your decision to pull the site until douchy douche plays ball. what an ignorant paranoid control freak loser.. honestly even if this douche came around it is not worth the pain of doing business with him for the sake of us…. just start from scratch do it on your terms and make it better than you had ever imagined.. good luck!!!!!

  101. This is where I met some of my best buddies in my life.. This is the place who made an immature boy in to a mature man. This is the site that gave meaning to lots of people life. Helped them find their partner for life be it Mistresses, Slaves, Masters or Switches. This is a hugh setback not only for us .. But also for a coming generation who want to know about BDSM from scratch and find appropriate parters for them. This is like FACEBOOK for BDSM users. :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  102. I am someone who has mental issues dealing with strangers in real life. This site helped me out in that. I am too shy.. Without this site I could not have imaginaged myself what I would be doing?. I spent hours and hours on this website chatting with others. Helped me in my issues in a big way.

  103. I wish you a satisfactory resolution to this silly issue which you are correct in your actions. I was wondering if I might get the last few emails I received and my login info is my name. I hope this is possible and I do see how you should be compensated since that was the agreement. WOW it always amazes me when two parties agree and then one just turns into an jackass. Again thanks for all you have done for all of us in the kinky world!!!

  104. Really sorry to hear about this. I hope your daughter gets better. I’m a DevOps engineer. Let me know if you need any help with infrastructure when launching the new site.

  105. Tiffany.

    I am sorry for all you have gone through and are still going through. I understand why you did what you did.
    I would also like to thank you for allowing me the time I had on Collarme I have made some very great friend

    Good luck and please make another site.

    Nancy aka lonleysub21

  106. As I read the comments, you see you have a lot of support here from others. I have learned that sometimes you do have to reach out for help from others. Tiffany — you see there are many here that can help you create a site that runs and works the way you want it to. Maybe you can get a new site up with the help of others here who have the knowledge to code things. But I do wish you all the luck and hope that things work out. You have gotten the attention of the membership here, and you see you have the support of thousands world wide.


    1. I am from India. mate.. There will be Chinese, Japanese, Russians, europeans, Latins, Africans,etc. Even if we donate the site 1 $ each. There will be enough for Triffany to make new site.

  107. With you one hundred percent…those who have contrary opinions in this really should have a long look at them selves.
    the central tenet of the lifestyle is trust and communication. clearly broached and leading to your actions. good luck.

  108. Its a great shame the site is no more, I have mostly enjoyed using it over the last 6 to 7 years, gone through quite a few differing profiles in that time, met some good people and some not so good people, found and been involved with two subs via collarme as well.
    I shall miss the site a great deal, but I do understand why you decided to close the site.
    God knows what I shall do now with only fetlife to both keep me entertained and enable my continued search.
    If ever you do decide to open another BDSM social network site I do hope you will pass on the good news and the url to your devoted members.

  109. Hi.
    Most of all, my thoughts go to your daughter.
    I sincerely hope that she has the best possible life under the circumstances.

    Regarding the website.
    I have been on CM for years and loved it.
    If you would like to create a new site at some point and would like some help, please let me know. I would be most happy to give back to a community which gave me so much.


  110. It is purely a scandal to do this. Sort out your issues but dont envolve other people! I feel really depressed since you blocked the website, I am feeling so lonely, and lost all my contacts. All my friends from Devon are now lost. Stop this stupidy now!

    1. victor get a fucking life and stop being the selfish turd that you obviously are. Think about someone else for a change. I am curious, assuming someone actually had the stupidity to employ you somewhere, how long would you work for free before you quit? Or would you stay working in bad conditions and for shit pay because you felt guilty about your customers…..whom by the way never paid a cent towards the site, you included. Dumbass

    2. victor,

      “FRIENDS” share off-site email addresses, even phone numbers, FRIENDS share reality, not just cyber-site back and forth.

      Don’t be such a self-centered jerk.

    3. I am SO disheartened by some of these comments.
      People bitching that they have lost information they had on CM, such as contacts, journals etc…

      I was once told that data you only have ONE copy of is data you dont really need.

      It makes sense.
      I ensure that people I have a decent connection with, have my contact details, email addresses etc. Fucking hell if you didnt wanna give someone your “real” or “normal” email address, you can set up any number of “free”ones

      Tiffany, I will be honest and say I got disheartened by Cm over the years, now I can see why it got so bad
      I wish you and your family luck, and good health for the future.

  111. As all the user’s of cm suffer because of the situation that’s been developing for awhile, I’m sure most would do the same. Someone that is selfish and focused on money doesn’t deserve any of it. As well his lack of open minded thinking goes against every single person on cm. we came there because we were looking for something we couldn’t find else where. Because acceptance is what we want and give, and in one way or another all kinky people have a healthy and sounder mind set. From me and I’m sure most agree the disappoint we face now is minor to learning that a closed mind greedy prick was gaining and running the site we use.

  112. As someone that is involved in a legal battle currently, I can completely empathize with your situation. I wish you had given some type of notice beforehand. There are numerous people that would need to conclude their emails and determine to move to a different venue to keep in contact with.

    If the site is to continue you way you imagined, please feel free to reach out to myself. I would certainly like to help restore Collar Me as I have been on the site many years and met some great people.

  113. Shame on you, for the sake of your personal problems the site is taken down. This amounts to cyber terrorism. So this means if Prez Obama’s policies are not working, he can shut down healthcare if he so decides?

    1. Blood and Martyrs, why in the hell do you think you’re entitled to her work? It is a free site, the amount any of us have paid is zero.

      Gods above, “cyber terrorism”? Are you one of the idiots who call 911 when you can’t get extra sauce for McNuggets?

    2. Hey asshole why don’t you ask for your money back..oh that’s right you didn’t pay anything to her. You used the site for free and now have the balls to get upset because it is gone. Why don’t you start your own site…oh that’s right you probably aren’t intelligent or dedicated enough so why don’t you stfu and move on with your sad pathetic life

    3. “nononsensemaster” is full of nonsense and shit, obviously and if he is a master, it is not as a good master, just a selfish-bastard type, I would guess

    4. Shame on YOU for not being a decent person with empathy and a soul. You should hold your head down in shame for the comment you made. ‘Cyber terrorism’ ? My God you are a terrible person with major issues to deal with. Please get help

  114. I have very mixed emotions for your situation. On one hand I say do what you think is right. On the other, I am grieving the loss of my online friendships, some for quite some time. Had we known, we would have moved to other venues. I can only hope that I (SOBERSUB2) might be recognized by my friends and contacted at ltrm1057@gmail.com.


  115. What a blessing that this has happened!!!! I am so excited for you! Too often we struggle internally with all the drama and fail to realize that only by coming to a crisis will most situations ever truly change. You could have continued for years, as you had previously, fighting the good fight….but losing.

    I hope you take this wonderful opportunity and move forward. Take some of these offers to help to heart and PRESS forward! Do not let the energy of the past interfere with the bold venture you are about to undertake or derail you and your family. The new energy will be so much better now :) Even your daughter’s health, as well as your own, should benefit from the dumping of the drama.

    Yes, all drama has two sides. And yes, many people are distraught right now about loss of communication. It will be fine. You will find a way to help, as you always have. Do not let the petty comments about their own little worlds fill you with distress. Go get em tiger!

  116. Collarme.com is not an AMERICAN site but its global site… And in coming days its gonna affect alot. Especially in Countries like India. Where we don’t have any BDSM social parties or anything. This is the only source to meet other BDSM persons in our country.

  117. Downhill it went fast. Lots and lots of fakes and scammers. Room nazis in the chat rooms. Time to move on folks.

    1. yep mate.. I listed 30 scammers and fakes on site. Everyday I minimum encountred even 1. When I signed up 5 years ago. It was great.. But end years were like dark ages of collarme.com

  118. I understand the need to do this and force your issues. I feel badly for you and all the parties concerned. I wish it hadn’t been necessary. I’ve had several very nice conversations going that are going to be lost. I’m sad for that. And for everyone else who was in the process of getting to know someone. I wish there was something I could do to help and I would be very interested in any new site you create. Please keep us informed.

  119. I understand your reasons for shutting the site, but i really need my profile and journal content. Like now.

    1. Deal with it.. It’s gone.. There are bigger issues in the work then your journal content.. Get a life.

    2. SoooOOO maybe then you should’ve saved them somewhere else? y’know, like your own server or computer you paid for? You own the writing and words…but you don’t own its storage.

  120. This website is free.. SO it helps us Indians connect with people around the world with out paying even 8-9$ a month . Our per capita income is around 1000$ . So any other BDSM sites is really tough for us because of a monthly pay . We normal Indians can’t afford even 10$ a month sites.

  121. You did not do a good enough job of shutting down as the phone app still seems to be working. Lots of luck and never give up.

    1. Phones are through the server, which is the only means of getting into CM. She had the site down, not the servers.

  122. Touche to you Tiffany. My heart felt wishes to see your daughter get through this ordeal, and mucho respect to you for standing your ground (no reference to the horrible law).

    I too am affected by the abrupt end to this (Damn, I was just making headway with someone I was interest in), but she has my number.

    And kudos to you for pulling the plug on that A-hole. I am a web developer and once did the same thing with a so-called business partner because I owned the domain name. He shoulda known better and wore a cup. Nice kick in the balls babe!

    See y’all on Fetlife (MrSilk there). I’m in NJ.

  123. I rely heavily on this site for most of my lifestyle related activities. It is a shame for the site to go down even though the scamming and spamming was very flourished on it. Then there is a thing with the unjust treatment you had to face. I wouldn’t want something I like to be build on a crime like this.

    If you need any help with him, jsp, scripting, etc; I would be happy to help free of charges. You can contact me at fantasysearch112@gmail.com

  124. For the haters.. The website was free. How can you bitch at a woman who dedicated so much of her time almost pro bono to it despite so much going on in her life.

    For Tiffany.. Thank you. I am so sorry to hear about all going on with your daughter. I think you did the right thing with your website based on the situation.

    Please let me know how I can help.

  125. Wow…Drama! While I DO understand what, according to you, is going on behind the scenes I also understand that this site is a business. It should be run as such…by BOTH parties involved. And if shutting down the site needed to happen so be it. But would waiting a few days or a week make that much difference? All of us out here using the site could have used the time after an Announcement of Termination to get our house in order and and contact those people who mattered to us. I’m very disappointed in your decision and feel I lost out on someone very compatible with Me. If she sees this, girl can contact Me at koolbreze90@yahoo.com. My heart goes out to your daughter and I wish her the best.
    **** MasterBreeze. ****

    1. Wow. I am so disappointed by the lack of compassion and understanding from those who paid NOTHING but were afforded the opportunity through someone else’s hard work and dedication to gain much.

      Tiffany I am sending you and yours healing energy and love! You matter!!!

  126. I’m very sorry for what happened and I’m with you but…
    Why don’t tell us few days earlier? In that way we could have been prepared to what happened. I have friends I can not contact anymore cause I haven’t their mail addies…. Isn’t that a pity?

    1. I agree; a few days notice would have been respectful and helpful; not as effective, maybe, with the ex-partner, or might have applied pressure in time to do something.

      Maybe she tried, though; telling him what she had in mind.

    2. Oh, Max F.!!! That is terrible!!! You have friends you can’t contact anymore there?

      And you say “What a pity!” I only know one person who speaks like that and uses that phrase!

      Now then, would you like to contact me? I think you and I are special friends. Well… you know how to reach me. Or as my profile said… “You know why I’m here.”


  127. 1. Is there a way we can donate directly to you?
    2. Is there a way you can rebuild the site with you getting the revenue stream?
    3. In a moment of pointed personal interest is there a way to get a message (alternate contact information) to people we were in conversations with ?
    4. What is this jackasses name as I want to have a pointed conversation with him.

    1. Tiffany should you wish to start a new site I would be more than happy to invest in you and any company you seek to form. I have a very good lawyer who can form any kind of company you wish.

      Eroticsubcouple: should you see this I am on yahoo messenger as Baltrosscottie also.

  128. Tiffany,

    As one of the two owners of the Field of Dreams Adult Resort, and the person responsible for the creation of the website, I can relate to the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune of trying to run a business with partners whose agendas are different than yours.

    Considering my complete lack of any previous website experience, the FOD website was the result of the ease of use of WordPress along with the extensive information available online…but I am, to be honest, not the person that you would require to quarterback any new BDSM site (although I understand enough to be involved in the daily decisions).

    What I can offer, as a man with years of experience in business (I also went to law school) who retired at the age of 50 to my Caribbean paradise, are the resources and the wherewithal to offer the kind of invested support that you would need to incubate another site like CM…or save CM itself.

    I am also available to extend to you any assistance that you might need and although not a member of any American Bar Association, you may pick my brain for any strategy that you might contemplate to resolve this situation litigiously.


  129. So sorry to hear the bad news, I hope your daughter to get treatment and rehabilitation as soon as possible. I will pray for you.

    1. I read the tale of woe from Tiffany. I have been a regular user for 12 years. I have seen many changes. Collar me is a business that exists to make money. We the regular free members are the use captive audience for the paying advertizers. I have always ignored the advertizements.

      moderators were bigoted and
      prejudiced individuals. Their friends
      would cause deliberate flaming. The victims not the perpetrators were removed from the boards. False claims by wicked and vindictive people would get people removed from collerme without warning are appeal. Far from being a well run website it was often the reverse and had a negative reputation.call lifestyle websites have management issues and treat members badly. I

  130. Let me know if you are going in to another venture on your own…. maybe we could do something better than CM :)

  131. So sorry to hear this. I wonder if you have considered approaching Baku and the FL people about building a companion site? The two worked so well in tandem, I think. And honestly, it sounds from these comments like you have the support and backing of a lot of CM users…maybe you could crowdfund to get started? Best wishes.

  132. I fully sympathies with her, this was the only answer you want to take a problem out you stop it at the source, with no site come no revenue so he’s forced to either agree to what ever terms or buy out, either way you look at it a true. member and supporter of the site would understand and offer any help, but you your not better then him you should be ashamed of yourself

  133. how come others i talk to, are still able to log in and use collarme, yet all i see is a closure letter etc, others are saying they are in there at this moment talking to other members etc.

  134. It is sad on some level, BUT I have NO doubts that she knew well in advance her money problems, and could of given the members some warning. I would of emailed a few of my favorite contacts on there. NOW I can’t!!!!

  135. I wasn’t a very active user of collarme for several reasons that doesn’t matter to anybody but besides all the fakes and similar things that populated the site I always felt this kind of place should exist for all of us to gather and find a partner.

    It saddens me to hear you were betrayed by who you felt was your best friend. nobody deserves such a thing and even less when you are having such a hard time because of your daughter.

    from my research I found your daughter’s disease can be fully cured so I hope your daughter will someday enjoy a healthy life.

    I hope one day, once your daughter is healthy, you decide to make a site like collarme but even better (just be careful with whom you associate)

    if such a thing happens please drop me an email so I can register on it.

    until then I wish you and your daughter the best of lucks. you deserve it.

  136. I’m a bit confused to be honest… I normally don’t log on through this website unless to check someone’s profile and log on through mIRC instead… a lot of people in chats can view the normal CollarMe.com website, but for me… I get this page? *is really confused on how some people gets it and some people don’t if it’s suppose to be down?*

    Anyway, so I don’t sound like a confused asshat… I reach out to you and your daughter. I really hope your former partner sees the wrong and steps up to the plate and be a Man; to take responsibility for his actions.

  137. It is sad on some level about the situation. BUT, I have no doubts that SHE knew for weeks that she would shut down collarme. She could of gave the members some kind of notice or warning!!!

  138. Sorry to hear everyone is affected by a personal issue. What happens to all of our personal data now? I don’t think anyone feels safe knowing their pictures, profile and information are being held beyond their control.

  139. I totally sympathise with you as an entrepreneur I’ve had to deal with sometimes rocky relationships, the worst being my last where my partner decided to destroy my reputation and finances in hope to take the company for herself.

    Stay strong and feel the support of those around you in this effort.

    Should you decide to build a new better variation on Collarme please feel free to email me I would be interested in being a purely silent partner in your endeavour allowing you total control.



  140. Tiffany. Your partner forgot rule one of the business world,
    He who owns the real estate owns the business. As a CFO, I applaud your tactics. I am sure it was you who minimized the fakes. Thank you for the complete update and best wishes.

  141. Just wanted to wish you the best and to thank you for doing such a good job. Will check periodically to see if there is any change.


  142. You did a great job with Collarme, witnessed by all those posting comments about how much it meant to them and how much they will miss it!

    You should be praised for concepting and maintaining something this important to so many . . .

    Thank you for all your hard work and effort.


  143. YOU should have announced that step to the users to give them a chance to appoint another way of staying in touch than through your site.
    What you did was simple letting all users down without any notice.
    Shame on you.
    Once again, a wrong decision.

  144. I don’t mind that the site went down and I truly do feel for your situatuon. I know putting it on there would have let him know but I wish there would have been some warning as other plans could have been made for anyone who was talking to someone….

  145. Well I do feel for you. But…. I do have to say this.. I was responding and talking to people.. whose only line of communication was collarme. so all of these connections are effectively shut off and down. I was only invovled with collarme for years. I wish there had been some notice, so I could have gotten emails from these people.

    It does suck I will loose these people. I wont be able to send messages.. or connect up. I have lost many friends this day. Many… My suggestion is that you provide a board or something for us to leave messages on for people to at least connect up with. Otherwise, alot of things have been lost. You have no idea the many many innocents that are about to be affected… The number will be in the millions. The world is a big place. You have adversely affected people alot of people. Im sorry for the negativeity.. I know you had good solid reasons. But I have lost many new friends….. many….

  146. Hope the lovely lady communicating with me sees this as the sudden vanishing of the site has left me and my friends totally high and dry along with the budding relationship I was building with someone special. Still if anyone wants to contact me I am on Yahoo as pseudodelic or on gmail as paulcussans… it’s a long shot but that may be all any of us have now as this may be permanent… what a shame but I can understand why… Paul

  147. Dear Tiffany, – not that we have BOTH sides of the story, but if what your saying IS true, – my prayers for your daughter, husband and yourself – and I WILL pray. Also If/when you get YOUR site up, – how will we know which it is ? Thanks for brilliant work to date. xox

  148. So sorry to hear of Your situation, my prayers are with You and Your Daughter. If/when You create a new sight, please let me know? A member since 2008 I have met many wonderful people there. It will be missed, You have my support in any way I can help.

  149. Hi this is Roger and already left some comments above in response to what has happened.

    I was speaking with “badcoupleuk” and about to make arrangements to collar one of the girls they were training so please contact me directly via email – rogermyname@yahoo.co.uk


  150. I can’t believe that this asshole hasn’t paid you. I am a web developer (and advertiser and etc etc as you know how that goes). I loved Collarme but if you are pouring your blood and tears into it and not getting anything from it, then I would personally never use the service. I wished that you had been able to tell the users about the problems before you had to take such drastic measures. But as I have had to do with a few clients of my own, you did the right thing by pulling the plug.
    Now… Once this dick head pays you and releases the website content to you, will you please put everything back? :)
    As for you whining bitches who are crying over your lost conversations (you call yourselves Domme’s?) and NOT thinking about all the work she has put into the site we *love*, why don’t you gather together and fight for *HER*? I will.
    Darlin’ you just tell me who I need to write or call and I’ll be on it!

  151. I’m sorry, I don’t buy it.

    First, this is NOT the correct forum to air your dirty laundry. If you have some issue, you can file the matter in small claims court for $10 which you would win back if you win your case.

    Next, IF you were sincere about taking down the site, you would have given ADVANCE notice so ALL the people who rely on this site would have an opportunity to setup alternate communications with their contacts.

    Next, you’ve dragged all the users of the site into your personal matters. You’ve hurt a lot of innocent people by your selfish actions.

    Next, IF you were really concerned, you would put the site back up so people COULD setup alternate communications with their contacts.

    Next, you’re opening yourself up to a liable/slander suit with your monologue herein.

    Maybe you have a case, but your actions speak much louder than your words.

    I’m NOT convinced.

  152. Hi,

    I (icytear on CM as well as on FL) am not really sure what I want to say as I am still kinda shocked.

    I really understand your personal situation (I only wish the best for your daughter and you) and after your explaining I can totally see how you couldn’t and wouldn’t “work” with this “partner” of yours any more. Also, a lot of us in the BDSM community know and experienced exactly (and some of us complained about it often too) how CM became worse and worse each year, the quality of the site deteriorating rapidly as well as potential dangerous and/or shady people totally destroying the small rest of any reputation for CM that was left in no time.
    So yes, I can understand you, very much so. It would just have been very nice and thoughtful if you had us at least given a one week heads up. Some of us found nice people to talk to here and even built close friendships (something you might have intended to happen when you started that site in the first place) – and may have no possibility to get in contact with their friends and aquaintances now :o(

    But besides that: Thank you for getting up with the idea for this site in the first place and making it possible for us to get in contact with other kinky people from all over the world! Concentrate on you personal life now and take care of daughter whom I wish the best. And if – at some distant point in the future – you consider to build up a new BDSM online community/site: then please let us now via this page here. In the meanwhile: Good luck and best wishes to you and your family!

    To all my friends from here, that didn’t get any other contact possibility from me and want to contact me (icytear):
    Please go to FL – I have the same name there as I had here -, search for icytear and send me a message and a friend request. If you prefer to send me a short mail, message me via icytear1982@yahoo.com


  153. I am sorry to hear this happen to you, You have my full support and one advice, do everything legaly posible to make this matter go away. If you want to make a new site, Count with me and my resourses.

  154. First, to Tiffany: My thoughts are with you and your family. I hope your daughter’s condition continues to improve and that she achieves good health and enjoys a full life. Concerning the site, if the facts are as you represent them, then you did the right thing and were I you I would have done the same thing. Thank you for being so conscientious in sharing with members the reasons why you took the site down. You didn’t have to. My hope is that if you do develop another site you’re able to obtain the member information and inform all of us by email.

    To those who question Tiffany’s actions and/or complain that they no longer have Collarme.com: Welcome to the real world. You have been like piglets that have been sucking happily and contentedly on a teat and have suddenly had the teat removed from your mouths and are now squealing your displeasure. I’ll remind you that you’ve been provided a free site to meet like-minded people and, I’m sure, have enjoyed it. You should be grateful. If you didn’t know that Collarme.com was a commercial venture (did you not notice the banner ads?) then you are naïve and have been living in a bubble. The resolution of business disputes is often messy and acrimonious and sometimes requires drastic measures. What Tiffany has done is perfectly reasonable and I remind you that she was under no obligation to inform members of anything. You should be appreciative and thankful that she took it upon herself to do so.

    Finally: I’ve been a member of BDSMPassions.com, another free site dedicated to BDSM, much longer than I have a member of Collarme.com. If you are not a member there then I suggest you join. It has its fair share of money scammers and posers, just as Collarme.com did, which is unfortunate but unavoidable, given the veil of anonymity the Internet provides.

    If anyone would like to contact me directly for any reason, feel free to do so at playfulpisces@cox.net.

  155. I fully support you….unfortunately your partner(s) are very short sighted (sited)….best of luck
    let us know what your next plans are

  156. Hi,
    I hope your daughter gets better soon.
    It’s bad what has happened to you.

    If you decide to create something like this site again, you can contact me, as I would love to help you. For free.
    I work as web developer.

    Best wishes.

  157. Agree with the comments regarding the deterioration of the quality of the site, as well as the massive influx of fakes and all the related bullshit.

    Agree also that there are many who will lose very good contacts and special connections in their lives, as I have made over the last few years.

    If even a biased accounting of your struggles for an amicable solution … A serious injustice has still been done to you Tiffany that goes far beyond reasonable … And I feel for you and your fight for some justice.

    I certainly hope your child gets the care she needs, as she is clearly getting the love she needs.

    I have a variety of expertise in Business Management and Development, and offer assistance if needed.

    I can be contacted at alphamale818@yahoo.com.

    Master Jon

  158. So sorry to hear about this. Quite a shock to wake up and find one of your favorite websites has disappeared into the ether.

    I was having an interesting chat with a sub female called “trappd”.

    If by chance she sees this I can be reached at hal9000 (at) inbox (dot) com

  159. Hi. We’re HornsNHalo on CM (or I guess we used to be?). Horns_N_Halo on Fet. We’re longtime users of the site (5+ years) and actually met each other online 3+ years ago. We’re now living together and will be married soon. While it does take some work sifting past all the fakes & flakes, we have also met many friends in the D/s community via CM.

    I was saddened to be redirected here when I tried to fire up CM as part of my normal daily routine, but after reading the detailed explanation I can understand why we’re at this point now. I thought I would offer what I hope are three constructive points.

    First things first: best wishes for your daughter’s health. My eldest daughter was also born with heart issues (nowhere near as severe as what you are dealing with) so I know the anguish of praying for your newborn’s health. I wish I was a doctor who could give you some concrete aid for that issue, but alas, that is not a skillset I have.

    However, I do have a couple of skillsets that may be helpful, which brings me to my second point. I’m a lawyer in Los Angeles. I’ve practiced business litigation for 20 years, representing entrepreneurs and business owners exclusively both in the Courtroom and the Boardroom. I can’t make any promises without having seen anything, but I would be happy to speak with you, review your case, give you my thoughts on it all from a legal perspective, and see if there was a way to help you to quickly resolve matters to allow you (and all the other CM users) to get back to business as usual.

    My third point is my other skillset, which is as a film producer. I’ve made one indie already and have another on the way. As part of that latest project I’m involved in a crowdfunding campaign. It seems to me that such a campaign may be the perfect fit for your situation, as it would allow many people from all over the globe to donate to the cause of either (a) fixing CM (both for the legal/business issues as well as the tech issues) to get it back up and running or (b) making a new site that operates in a new & improved manner.

    If you would like to contact me to discuss either of these solutions, please feel free. I can be reached via eMail as Way2Tabu4u@yahoo.com.

    I wish you the best of luck and success, both in your business and with your daughter.

  160. First, I want to thank you an explanation of what has happened. I have been around CM for over a decade, and while I am very sad to have lost so many journals and contacts, I completely understand and applaud your decision. Despite the large number of fakes on CM, I strongly preferred the format and layout over FL. From your narrative, what he was doing was morally wrong, but sometimes you just can’t reason with crazy and have to pick up your toys and walk away. Eventually, they realize they F’ed up… but be strong and DON’T go back… crazy once, crazy always (yes, personal experience talking here! lol). I will be here and look forward to a new and better CM under your control. I wish you best of luck and send positive energy to you and for the health of your daughter. Keep us updated please!

  161. I wish you the best and look forward to what you will create next. It sounds as if you will have tremendous support when you start again. Best wishes for you and your child!

  162. I would like to send positive thoughts to your family and your little one
    second I find this all to be foolishness but this is the only way people work things out anymore
    would have been nice to have a couple days to give emails to people we have met or were in relationships with
    I find that to show you are un caring to the people of this site we joined and kinda made in a way !
    you could have had a page up a email whatever to notify us all so we could have made different plans …..unimpressed !
    bad biz move !

  163. What goes around comes around, I dont feel at all sorry for either of you. You censored with stupidity, at times I am sure you didnt even look at what you took down, and left up other stuff that was fragrantly against the TOS. You didn’t reply to your consumers in any coherent manner. You were terrified of that other site Fetlife, lord knows why, oh, and your adds sucked. Yes no sympathy for you at all. You get what you gave.

  164. You have to do what you have to do. No partner should endure this and you should have pulled the plug on him a LOOONG time ago to force his hand. 30 days is long enough for anyone to shit or get off the pot. We have other sites so your loyalty is to your family not us. Do what you must. I will miss the site but morals over ride kink anyday.

  165. Tiffany –

    Your narrative of events is saddening; disturbing.
    I wish you and your daughter (and male partner) the best in the future. Medical care for her will be challenging now and into the future.

    I am not a wealthy person, but If your accepting donations I’ld like to offer some support.

    CollarMe was indeed an assist to the community. While you hold the title of the Company it may take years to reestablish some form of existence for it in the future.

    Please keep your dreams alive, Wishing you and your future better things.

    MstrPBK / Peter Kelley
    St. Paul, MN USA

  166. Tiffany i’m so sorry to hear all this..the man is a jackass to be sure..,.i do understand about your daughter as well if i can be of any help to you geting a new site uo just let me know please…and to mt 2 girls over in new z..please find away to get in touch.

    hugs to all.

  167. I do not know all your details of course and i am not an attorney, however i have a decent knowledge of civil law and i could help you, if you desire, file a federal breech of contract lawsuit against him should you decide to go this route. You are right it is lengthy process. In fact a federal lawsuit you have up to 120 before you even have to have the defendants served plus their answer time and there is required mediation all before you even get to the process of evidence, interrogatories etc. That being said, if you are in financial hardship you may be able to file for free and even if not the filing fee is around $360 plus the service fee by the US Marshall service which is not much since you only have one defendant. My point is he sounds like an asshole and probably a moron as well. Serving him with a federal lawsuit alone may be enough to wake him up to just how serious you are regarding this. Additionally you may be able to file against him personally for intentional infliction of emotional distress depending on your state laws. Anyway i have found personally people do not always take you seriously until a court official shows up at their door and says “sir you have been served” and they have to go find and retain an attorney and face the prospect of a long costly legal battle. I am currently doing a federal lawsuit pro se myself against similar type individuals who thought they can do anything they wanted and thought i was a joke. My guess is when the Marshall arrived at their place of employment last week they were not laughing so hard. if you have any questions please feel free to contact me. Obviously i cannot represent you but i can help you with legal research, case and statutory law and the process of filing a complaint and application for your fee waiver etc. If you are as smart as you sound, it is not as difficult as some may think. Good luck in any event

  168. I ache for the situation you are in, personally and professionally.

    As you know, the site has long had issues, the primary one being the difficulty in getting rid of people with deceitful intentions, who were there to hurt and use others in various ways.

    I hope when you DO relaunch you will correct what your ex-partner refused to fix, preferring advertizing revenue over quality of site.

    In the meantime, maybe someone else will step up.

    I wish you the miracle of unexplained healing for your child. God does work in mysterious ways.

  169. If anyone here is looking for Me, I can also be foundon fetlife.com

    I am very sad to see Collarme.com go!

  170. this is not a legal based action, this is self-justice, or a hoax or an entertaining way to shut down a website which claimed to be the largest on the bdsm topic.
    now not only the content is questionable, also the availability. for any media which claims to be communicative such an action is killing any brand.

    1. you are just another self-absorbed, head-up-your-ass, jerk. Have some understanding (requires intellect) and compassion (heart).

  171. I totally get her point….and say good riddence to the co owner and the side….I visit here only to check emails, I joined Fetlife.com four yrs ago because of so many fake lifestylers making Collarme.com their home and in anticipation of this happening.

  172. If anyone is looking for me I’m on fetlife same name very sad this had to happen but you gotta do what you gotta do

  173. Tiffany my wishes go out to you and ii would join your new site just contact me at outlawm4@gmail.com i have met a lot of friends on Collarme and i wish to meet more like Maria333 i was just starting to chat with her this morning but i want you to know that i understand my son had a brain tumor and i was traveling across the country for him i hope she will get better

  174. As an attorney, please know that you’ve harmed your legal standing and are highly unlikely to reap the financial restitution you seek by this act. He’ll just buy a new domain name and transfer site publication over. You’ll get nothing. And the bad faith of this action will come back to bite you in the subsequent litigation, which you actually should have filed months ago. Statute of limitations on breach of contract varies state to state.

    Best of luck.

  175. Bonjour.

    Here in France, we will miss CollarMe too, anyway, as said before, we can easily understand your point of view, with you daughter’s problem, and we can’t blame you.

    We wish you the best.



  176. Also Tiffany….
    I am appalled that you have been treated that way… especially by a so called friend!
    You have my best thoughts & wishes to you & your family!

    1. I am so sad to hear you were treated as such and yes i def have notice a down grade the last 5 years I used to meet in person lots of wonderful women in fact real women not fakes looking for money or claiming they were in the Boston scene when in fact not at all

      I hope you get it fixed and thank you


  177. Hello Tiffany.
    I’m so sorry to hear about all this, and would like to wish you the best of luck to you and your daughter.

    To the lovely girl I was talking to (yes, “valbitch”, I’m talking about you ^^), if you see this, please contact me at tamingwildsluts@yahoo.fr
    Looking forward to hear from you.

  178. Hello Tiffany.
    I’m so sorry to hear about all this, and would like to wish you the best of luck with your daughter.

    To the lovely girl I was talking to (yes, “valbitch”, I’m talking about you ^^), if you see this, please contact me at


    Looking forward to hear from you.

  179. Next time it’s back up I could try and websnake it so all the code and everything is copied and can migrate wherever you ant

  180. Ugh, I hope things work out for you!
    I’m super frustrated because I received a new message from someone who was very promising and I didn’t get to read it before the site disappeared into oblivion. His username was bostonsublove or bostonlovesub or something like that. If you happen to be him reading this, please email me at princesskittybat@yahoo.com and to be safe include what you were studying.
    I hope I find you!

  181. So so sorry to hear about all you have been through. I hope your daughter is doing well and that you find the resolution you seek.

  182. sorry to hear that, i have heard that the guy who administers the site is a jackass, i have actually been one of the people he harrassed until i created an untraceable account… wish i could do something but so far i just hope for the best, both for you and your daughter :)

  183. i have been member long. and met many nice people and bad people. and people found me nice and bad and fake and real.

    But you story shocks me. i would gladly put some money into a crowdfunding project for you to help your daughter (instead of send to fakes).

  184. The value of the website is in the name and name recognition. There is plenty free and/or inexpensive software around to re-create your Collarme website. I know this can be done since I run 2 websites. Next time keep total control, if you need or want investors keep them under a tight leash ( kind of appropriate, no?).

    Good luck in any event.


  185. To all my friends and acquaintances…. Please come find me on
    Society31.com Kissyface

    Best of luck to you Tiffany…. Kissy xo

  186. a lot of people will help you! Use the network you build to get all you need really for proper treatment and care!

  187. Until today, I never once thought about what goes on behind the scenes of my favorite website. Even though I still meet many people through your site, I do see the downgrade of quality, the variety of scam profiles, and lack of oversight you mentioned. Please continue to provide updates on the situation. If the case is not settled fairly then I will not return to this site.

  188. Hello ,, long time user of collar me,, made a lot of good friends and meet some in real time. Will miss your site,,,,
    Anyone who u know want to keep in touch, my email is wareena@yahoo.com


  189. I hope everything will work out for you Tiffany.

    I have been using collarme.com for some time, and I miss it now it is down. For good reason I read now.

    I hope everything will be settled soon, and collarme.com will be back.

  190. I have created a fetlife account with my same name and profile picture if anyone was looking for me..just in case.


  191. Some of you guys are so pathetic! Stop thinking about yourself and think of others. I have hundreds of friends here who I have met, and found the dom I see through others here. Tiffany — I wish you all the best in starting a new system, and please let us all know what happens. For those who just need to complain — see you!! Others here care about each other and bickering here is really stupid. I am debli6969@yahoo.com for those who want to stay in touch.

    — deb

  192. Tiffany,
    Wow! You do what you gotta do I support you…. What he did wasn’t right at all! All the best wishes and hopes to you and your daughter!
    Queen_Maldita formerly Princess Ayana SBPrincessBitch on CM

  193. Tiffany: The priority should be the health and well-being of your daughter. Hopefully, at some point, you will be able to create a new BDSM website. Until then, good luck and best wishes.


  194. pleas let me know if you re-open your own collarme.com a friend of collar me for several years inform me pls if you open your own ??? Alois Hasler I waite for your email announcing your new site ???? thanks for everything Alois,,

    my e mail: alois_hasler2010@yahoo.com

  195. I was known as OoAsis on the site. very sad to see it gone!! :-(
    so sorry!

    on fetlife for now..under same name .


  196. collarme.com is synonymous with BDSM.
    Find someone how already hosts a similar site, who has the bandwidth, capacity and the development expertise.

    Do a deal, you bring the domain, and find soem volunteers to help maintain and admin the site, they bring the logistsics and agree to sell them 51% after 1 year, in the meantime they get 50% of any revenues.

    Perhaps not the exact deal word for word.

  197. It was so bad, it was time to put a halt to it. They all be talkin bout Fetlife fetlife, so there’s that. Just stay away from that joker that owns this. He gotta be a bad dude. Worse than donald sterling. THAT bad!

  198. Tiffany, I am so sorry to read of the things in life you have struggled with, if there is any way we can help you with expenses with your child’s health issues, please let us know or perhaps we as a community could also find a way to get assistance to Tiffany and also, perhaps
    commenting in chat rooms on other kink sites about this as well.

    I for example have a friend who has thought of investing money into collarme. but right now only thinking about it. There must be answers to this as well.

  199. Tiffany I totally stand by your actions in your situation. your former good friend will feel the burn sooner than later. The plight that your precious little girl is in proves that there is no god. I wish you and your daughter a successful outcome of this horrid situation.

    for the NY doms that i messaged u can reach me at elnegrodiablo@hotmail.com

    good luck tiffany

  200. It’s truly amazing how people can turn into total scumbags when they get a little money and start feeling powerful.
    I’m sorry you’re going through this – I believe 100% that you’re making the right decision and if I knew that dick – I’d break my foot off in his pampered ass. There’s absolutely NO excuse for that kind of behavior.
    When and if you find time to start a new site – I’ll be there.

    If anyone out there is looking to contact me – Hit me up on kik, if you’ve got it: czech_please
    I can’t remember the usernames of the people I was friends with, honestly. By the time I trusted them we were all on a first name basis. Be that as it may – I’ll live.

    Best of luck, everyone. (And if you’re looking for someone to talk to about all this – Even if you didn’t know me – Feel free to hit me up; I’m a pleasant gal.)

  201. I’ve been with collar since well..it doesn’t matter ha…. I’m now 26. I’ve met quite a few fakes in my time I’ve also made some amazing real time friends. Even dated a few. Learned a great deal of information both about myself and about others. It’s sad to see such a website die in such a away. I think it was a good and bad move that you did what you did. You really should have mass told everyone or given a warning. It’s kind of like having a heartfilled friendship with someone and out of no where they decide nope I won’t be their friends anymore. For some un-forseen reason. I’ve lost a few great friends in this way.

  202. Well I’ve been on this site since 2004. And haven’t paid a penny. Now the technology still seems like it’s 10 years old which is a shame but the place was useful nonetheless. If you ever bring it back up, the place could use a huge overhaul!!!

    This situation is a shame but I would have probably done similarly in your place.

    Good luck to you.

    Anyone smart enough can find me in other places.

  203. elizabeth in Phoenix, you may contact me at FetLife (same name).
    I was looking forward to exploring the possibilities.


  204. I’m a professional negotiator. Deal with C-level execs and attorneys all the time. What I believe happened here is that Tiffany unfortunately played nice for too long and let herself be pushed around by arbitrary demands and unreasonable terms. It might not have come to this if she had been more aggressive before (seemingly paradoxical, but more problems are caused by appeasement — see WWII, inter alia). But given where things ended up, Tiffany had to make a stand, so she chose the nuclear option. This is almost certainly the right thing to do. It is immediate, powerful and the equivalent revenue-wise of a giraffe kicking you in the balls. It will get his attention. Now if he is a purely irrational psycho hell bent on revenge, ready to see everything destroyed just to “get her,” it may not work. Classic lose-lose. But if he is simply a difficult, unethical SOB, then this will get his attention fast. The moral here is to stand up for what you deserve early on, thus avoiding those nukes.

    I’d be willing to help also (ncdom2013@gmail.com) in terms of negotiations and in terms of the strategy behind the launch of a new site, been doing this for a while — and member “please***” if you’re reading this, email me there. I enjoyed our conversations.

    1. This is all very sad. At the very least because CollarMe is down, and if Tiffany’s story is straight on, how incredibly, incredibly awful for her.
      To Tiffany: Thank you so much for everything. I truly wish the best of everything for you and your daughter. I have seen first hand how each moment can be both beautiful and devastating at the same time for those in your situation. Good vibes are being sent from me to you.
      As another writer pointed out, yes, there are two (or perhaps 3) sides to every story. Unfortunately two of the stories about our loss of CM have resulted in the loss of a site I had very much enjoyed for only 1 1/2 years. I met and corresponded with many interesting people and have made (I believe) a couple life long friends.
      Caring for a sick child is a full time job, so I commend you, Tiffany, for giving both keeping up the site and caring for your daughter a go. Thank you for the effort and time you put into the site because despite the occasional troll (who are everywhere online), I found enjoyable experience on and off of, yet both as a result of, Collar Me.

  205. Demons run when a good man goes to war.
    Night will fall and drown the sun,
    When a good man goes to war.

    I wish you all the best, Tiff.

  206. Sorry for troubles. You could have given us some notice so that we could give wanted contacts another way to reach each other.

    As it is, I am Spinnerjo I can be found at fetlife.com for a short period of time. Please contact me there for additional information. Please do this ASAP as I will only leave the profile active for 1 week.


  207. Jesus, what a terrible way to treat customers. As pawns in your relationship. I wonder if this will ruin your goodwill? This is a terrible business decision and it’ll show in the long run.

  208. This saddens me immensely…

    I do feel that we the Community should have gotten a notice.

    I’ve lost friendships, relationships that I will be hard to replace. I hope that this issue can be resolved as soon as possible.

    If anyone is needing an outlet please feel free to contact me through my blog. Angel-lynn.squarespace.com

    Thanks Miss Angel

  209. I can be reached at dreemmistress305 @fetlife. Hoping CM will be up soon. Tiffany, sending good thoughts your way.

  210. I am very sorry to read what you have been through and hope your child gets better soon. I have made a lot of friends on Collar Me over the years, but also a lot of scammers as well. If only I knew how to start up a webpage for people on Collar Me to stay in touch, but also keep the fakes and scammers out as well, a site just for genuine people. If anyone knows how to do this then contact me at this address celsiewashere69@gmail.com this is not my main address but have got access to it. And good luck to you sorting this matter out

  211. So sorry to hear about this conflict. Knowing this, I do not plan to continue using Collarme even if this schmuck settles with you. Please do consider starting your own site, as I can assure you any woman who is worth her salt will follow in similar footsteps to mine in patronizing a site created and run by a strong, intelligent woman.

    Best of luck with your daughter. It is always so awful when the smallest, most innocent beings must face such intense struggles at such a young age.

  212. Thanks for the explanation. IMO you should be worried more about your daughter than this site. We’ll get by.

    And your partner is way off base. Lots of men (and women) like looking at women’s feet. Watch a little TV or a movie and count the number of times a pair of heels or women’s feet appear. It goes way beyond the BDSM community.

  213. Hi,

    I understand that this is a crappy situation for you and I believe that you are owed everything promised and then some because of how long it has been; my issue is that the site is down and I do not have the ability to get in touch with people-I recently joined the site and have not had a chance to take conversations to a non collarme location. It is very infuriating and I hope that it gets resolved soon because there is no reason for the rest of us to be affected because someone is too much of a maggot to handle his obligations. I am on your side Tiffany and am blaming your former partner for this mess!

  214. That sucks.. It is always horrible when a friend does that to you.. I had similar happen once.. I hope your daughter and family are okay.

    To any of you that were talking to me.. (Since I DON’T give out my email/IMs unless I’ve talked to someone about a year)
    You can find me on my twitter or my personal website contact form jadedkittykimiko.com/contact-kitty

  215. Taking over Collar Me isnt showing anything to anyone other than he was right. Your more than willing to do what ever it is you want . A means to your own end. Im sorry about your baby but your not the only one in this country thats been wronged. Now taking matters into your own hands. This only shows and indicates you dont care about your client base. Your /The subcribers.. And what will this show when or if it does go to civil Court? Only that you will break any and all business ethics and protocals? Just to take and have your own way!
    Your basicly not going to recieve and get the sympathy you want. Your only going to recieve contempt from the very users you want to bring this to their attention. Whos fault does this really go to? If your this great business person then why do this? Why did you go into this with your so-called trust of him? or for that matter anyone.. Your blaming it on his so-called betrayal??? When it was your own blind trust that YOU! Decided to do. YOU! should have trusted no one. One of the first rules of business, get it all on paper! I for one do not have or will devleope any trust you will run it any better than he will or has. Its seems you want everyone to see how much you trusted him and betrayed you! The sympathy card that one you hold and want others to accept that make it justifiable to take matters into your own hands. So he may be right that your not even tempered in running this alone or with him.
    Hes and his attorneys are giving you enough rope and your now hanging yourself. Because this will some how end up in a civil Court and go againts you. Even telling him ” Let her do it why stop her? Shes hanging herself.” How is this helping your baby? And not to deminish your babys health situation. But do you honestly believe your the first and only one whos child is so ill and youve been betrayed? I know, we all know how it hurt. Would you like to hear how I didnt have insurance or even money to help my child when she needed help???
    I do hope your baby will get all she needs but your going about it in the wrong way how ever you justify it. All this as they say… will be used against you but in a civil court. Then how will this help your baby? It will only deminish your chance to win in legal civil court, even in a settlement of the worth.
    If CM is really worth so much? A good civil attorney can make your part be known. Yes he/they will charge 40% if they win? But what have you got now??? What youve done is take a civil courts legal way of interupting service (Injunction) into your own hands. What will that/this show, indicate to the court??? Only that he and his attorneys are right about you.

    1. Your a disgusting human being to say such things. Your lack of empathy shows you to be a shameful shameful person.

      1. Really? All thats seen is how she now creates CONFLICT between her/the so called subscribers. How is this right?
        But im the disgusting one? So she created this comment site to see and get only positive comments? I dont see that she cares one way or another unless she likes to see subscribers have conflect with others… Shes wrong she knows it doing this. There are other legal means to resolve any business dealings and disagreements. She actually expected this to happen she wanted this to happen for her own means. Or why even do it? Im not the one whos disgusting. If she cant handle negative results and comments… How is she going to handle attorneys in a civil court?
        Shes reading subscribers now taking sides in conflict. Yet I/we dont see her trying to stop such conflicts? How is this professional? How is all this going to help her cause, her child now or in the near future? This conflict is what she wanted and hoped for. If not? She has the power to stop it. To sieze and decist? I dont see her doing it do you?

        1. Anyone else catch the irony of someone “Anonymous” bitching about the idea that a website being brought down because the owner did some sleazy things?

        2. Obviously is not concerned for the subscribers to the site that have followed the “terms of agreement”. We have a reasonable expectation that is not being met. We all have life issues, but how dare us effect thousands over a personal disagreement.

      2. Im Amazed at how many people simply take one persons word one persons side to all this as true, as gospel? As far as I know no ones heard from him? His side, his story why is she innocent and hes guilty? Cause she used the sympathy card? Hes not the one who shut CM off.
        I’d like to hear his side?
        Before I go getting my torch, pitch fork and rope. Yelling, Screaming, Pointing the finger…
        ” There he is! Theres The Monster! Come on! Lets Go Get HIM! Burn that windmill down on HIM!! Dont let HIM get away! She saw him! Hes the guilty One! Burn HIM! YEAH!”
        Really??? Just like that? What a hateful mob…
        “but… but… she said he was the one? she said she saw him do it? ??”
        Leave it to the Attorneys, the Courts where it belongs.

        1. First of all you are a coward for turning off a websight I had contacts to take care of and now I got to hunt them down

          2nd of you suck

        2. Out there out in the real world they refer to this as “Insighting” If anyone were to be threatened, hurt, injured, and yes even killed . The person whos blog this is would be arrested and no consideration given to any child sick or not. Do you honestly believe this wont have any reprocussions if this got out in the real world and caused such things to person/s. If you believe this would ever happen think again. All it takes is people living in close proximity taking this to the out side and taking action over this. Telling a judge it started on line in a blog.
          If she retained a real Attorney a good Attorney you can bet the first thing he or she is going to tell her is.
          ” You need to stop this, You need to stop this ended now before it causes someone to get hurt or threaten. Because they will say its your blog, you saw the conflict and did nothing to stop it!” It wont help your case or cause. You’ll loose more than a site… You’ll loose custody of your daughter for letting it go on and someone gets hurt.”
          No? Well its not only her site shes gambling on… but also her daughter.
          Still No? Than call your local Attorney and Judge if it cant happen.
          Knock, knock… “Police we have a warrant for your arrest.”
          ” But my daughter? Shes sick?”
          “We’ll call Child Protective Services and they’ll send someone to come take her. In the mean time officer so and so will stay here til they come”
          No not scare tactics… just fact and hope that this doesnt go out there from someone crazy and upset in here?
          Shes the one gambling as she reads people already conflicting with each other here. Her daughters also at stake on the table not just a site.
          Everyone always thinks and believes
          “Nah! Thats not ever gonna happen! Thats just silly, real stupid and rediculous to think like that!
          Dont worry Tif we’re with you! You have our full support all the way! You go girl!”
          Wonder were all this support will be when shes in a holding cell knowing her daughters in State custody? I hope she’ll get more than one call.
          Ever see the movie Telephone with Whoopie Goldberg. She kept talking and talking on the phone the whole movie. Turns out the telephone guy came to disconnect her phone service and take it away… She killed him before the start of the movie, was never really talking with anyone. She was a loner and it was all she had… hemmmm
          Just saying art immetates life…

          1. Anonymous – you’re a moron and don’t have a clue to what you’re talking about. You must be one of those real prize catches on collarme….LOL

            Tiffany – is the way your partner spells? LOL Sounds like a rant from a cowardly ass and he certainly seems the type.

          2. “Dear” Anonymous,

            First off, it is “inciting” not “insighting”, unless you are trying to suggest that Tiffany is clairvoyant.

            It is sad, that there are so many self-centered, arrogant people, who cannot see beyond their own inconvenience, desires, and wants. Though this is a community, the needs of the many do NOT outweigh the needs of the few or the one. Of course if this was Nazi Germany, maybe they would. I suggest some self reflection to the likes of anonymous, tupolev and witkowska, and perhaps a little bit of Plato.

            Regardless, of whether the story Tiffany has presented to us, is true or not, she has every right to put the content she choses on a domain that she legally owns. The mere fact that she has posted this, should indicate that it is at the very least partially true, otherwise, she would be risking libel charges.

            To Tiffany:
            I want to thank you for the sanctuary that you have helped create for all of us. I apologize on behalf of the nitwits (read trolls) that have attacked you in your hour of need. As I am sure you must be aware, nitwits abound in every walk of life.

            Please know my prayers are with you and your family, and I hope that this is somehow resolved in a way that is just and fair to you, and helps you at least monetarily through your difficulties.

            To the other “proprietor” of CM:
            While I am just as everyone else, a “free” user, I hope that people not willing to negotiate realize that every day that goes by, more and more of us will forego CM in favor of an alternative website, and many of us will simply NEVER come back. So it is my financial counsel to the person who is not giving to others their due, that they resolve this stalemate as soon as possible or their website will soon be generating as much revenue as bondage.com.

            All the best to you Tiffany and your loved ones and please disregard the nitwits.


          3. Anonymous.

            really? you really think she went this far, created that long a story, a lie, for what?

            and not only that, unlike your near extreme and nearly paranoid rants, her story is logical, well laid out and internally consistent.

            and in any situation, being so totally aggressive and offensive (even to your basis of word choice and topic discussion – legally and personally threatening) going to help at all? even assuming she’d fold just because you called upon the names of Law and Justice, you personally are going to get the exact reaction that you have.

            you get seen as despicable, low, self centered, and lacking a decent spine – there may be one in there, but it’s bent in some really nasty ways.

            look around, see that this is a bit bigger than you, and suck it up. straighten up while you’re at it.

            and most of all, stop trying to threaten with a force you don’t command. if you want to complain (or threaten) do it as yourself.

            you didn’t even use your name. how low is that?

        3. If she owns the domain, she is legally allowed to do what she wishes with it. There is nothing he can do to stop her.

          Just like if he chooses to purchase a new domain and move the site there, he can.

          There is even other steps she can do, if she wanted.

        4. Because even if this is actually true then he’s not going to jeopardise his court case by airing his dirty laundry in public.
          He’s the one who’ll be laughing all the way to the bank.

    2. First of all you are a coward for posting anonymously. Second of all you need to take your medication. SHE owns the domain she can take it down if she chooses to and there is nothing anyone can do about it. She’s not breaking any laws by taking it down you idiot. All of your criticisms are just the rants of a coward who is afraid to post his real name and email address. When and IF this case goes into civil court I can assure you that she will not lose. In fact I predict that her partner, who broke the contract initially by failing to compensate Tiffany per their agreement as well as not disclosing financial information regarding the business that they both contributed to as PARTNERS so she could not make informed business decisions regarding the value of the business as to get a fair and equitable price during negotiations to terminate her interests in collarme.com. For this reason I do not blame her for terminating service and informing the community that collarme.com will be down for the forseeable future. Her business partner should not get 100% of the financial rewards from a website that he only has 50% ownership of. He has been committing a crime by keeping these funds from Tiffany. In fact he is guilty of fraud by intentionally not providing financial documents to Tiffany as well as theft which degree will depend on the amount and jurisdiction this case is tried in. Not only has her partner acted in bad faith, broken the contract, engaged in deceptive business practices as well as broken the law and should not only be incarcerated but I would not just seize the website if I were an attorney but I would go after his personal assets and sell everything he owns by order of the court until his debts are paid to Tiffany. I have shown the court how he has acted and know that any judgement or award would result in her business partner simply filing for bankruptcy and once again cheat Tiffany out of any compensation that she is entitled to. Yeah his best bet would be to release the documents and start acting like a responsible business partner and give Tiffany everything she wants or he will end up doing time. If you think i’ playing around you might want to check out the laws. Just remember if hes that much of a scumbag that he wouldnt give a woman enough money to take care of her sick child I would make a bet that he defrauded the IRS out of money too. That my friend carries FEDERAL time. The only real question for this asshole is how much time does he really want to do…. good luck with some bullshit defense. Once Tiffany files paperwork that will seperate her from any action involving the IRS due to the fact she requested financial records in writing and he refused to comply her attorney will make a call to the IRS AND the US Attorney’s Office who will grant this poor mother immunity due to the decisions of her business partner and by keeping that financial information from her he automatically assumes responsibility for any discrepencies. Guess what a forensic accountant will do to him? Find every penny he’s ever tried to hide from anyone and you know that he will. He think’s hes smart well there are much smarter people out there and prison is full of people that thought they were the smartest person in the room. I hope for his sake being raped anally is a fetish of his. Federal prison is full of predators and he’ll have lots of friends to keep him company. Enjoy your day coward.

    3. People must be really hard up for masturbation material…

      Tiffany has not once mentioned her business partner’s name. She has only stated her side of the story. It does not look good for him to have people defending him via anonymous comments.

      She had a contract (a shitty, a little-too-late contract but it’s still a contract). If it was a contract based on California business (I only say this because she stated California) then him terminating the contract after she said it was due to immediate family needing to go to doctor violates California employment law potentially opening up a lawsuit especially if Tiffany’s contract was not “At-Will”.

      Tiffany has done nothing wrong in what she has stated. Only people who know Tiffany AND the partner know who she is talking about and that is not enough. You have to provide concrete examples of why her statements are false and they need to be in writing. For me I’m totally cool with CM being down…I had joined shortly after its conception and I’ve had a few profiles on it over the years. It was awesome at first and the last few years it’s just been horrible. Absolutely horrific. I’ve met several of my exes online and the worst of the worst.

      I get that people chatted only on here but seriously…after years of being here, I’ve gone to yahoo or email or other sites. So what are you doing just being on CM? That’s shady. Ain’t no body got time for that. Should have moved offline or to another avenue that’s the whole point of a kinky personals site…this wasn’t AFF or Ashley Madison.

      Good luck, Tiff!

  216. Best wishes to you , your daughter and family. CM has been a fantastic site for me. And the connections I have made in my brief time have been “Golden”.
    In the grand scheme of things.. not being able to communicate on CM isn’t going to end my journey.
    Everything works out like it’s supposed to. Sometimes we agree with it.. sometimes we don’t.
    Just tell anyone that has a problem with how it’s handled..
    Build a bridge and get over it!!!
    Thank you for all your hard work and dedication.
    Please take care of yourself….
    Pixie Pie

  217. I understand your situation and hate that you had to suffer through this hardship. I would like to make a deal with you, I’ll buy the domain from you and run it as it should be ran. If you want to work something out wit me, you can contact me at whipmaster696@yahoo.com

  218. Hello and thank you for many years of pleasure. I have met people from all over the world on your site and will miss it greatly. I went by OBFunLady and any friends reading this can contact me at eveys68@yahoo.com.
    Thank you,
    Mistress Eve

  219. Its usually the case that doing what someone did to you is the quickest and most effective way to make them understand and get the point accross. Many people do not understand explanations, nor do they care.

    I personally think that collarme was outdated, now even the guardian carries ads openly for both gays and lesbians.

    The only messages I got on collarme were from people who wanted play/advice off me. I don’t remember the last time anyone treated me as a person.

    I am however perfectly capabale of picking up vibes in real life so only on fetlife for the blogs also.

    In any case though, if CM does restart, good luck and all the best.

  220. I can’t believe that, after he begged you to “captain the ship”, he’d treat you as bad as he has.

    I hope all goes well with your daughter.

    Please consider me if you need help with the new website….of course do let me know the web address.

    For all it’s faults, I did enjoy CM.

  221. I hope the parties involved can come to some agreement. Collarme is/was far from perfect, but it was FREE. And some of the users were real, sprinkled in among the fakes.

  222. Tiffany I back you and support you all the way I send all my prayers best wishes and hopes for you and your daughter what he did was wrong he knows it and in karma has a way of coming back to bite you but there are ways to make him miserable and show him the s his ways if I was you I would pursue him I would lock up everything in lean lock down the site find an attorney that will go on a contingency not consignment and just make him miserable you don’t even need to win what he did was wrong and not only is it hurt you and your daughter it’s her hundreds of thousands of us regular long term you searched yes I have multiple accounts for me my wife and my subside and I love collarme I pray that you will do this again because you had a wonderful idea I wish I could afford to offer you help unfortunately at this point I can’t other than to be support I do know a couple of attorneys but you got plenty here on the site so best to you and keep us posted at least if you can get us open back up to the site so we can get our contacts pictures journals and you stay strong girl

  223. I support this decision 100%. While I know your situation cannot be summed up in one quick phrase, sometimes fighting fire with fire is the only alternative you have.

    If you decide to start a new site, please let me know. I would be happy to promote it on my blog (especially if it had fewer ads… haha).

    Good luck.

  224. Hello…so sorry to see all this but completely understand why you had to do what you did…I think speak for many when I say that I would be willing to pay for access to the site ad those I have been in contact with from there..it would be a shame to lose them…I had great success on collarme in that past and would love to see the site up and running and YOU compensated for your work and dedication to it ..if anyone from collarme would like to keep in contact with me ai1962…I am at pmr_annette on yahoo….the best to all of you…take care.

  225. If you decide to set up another site, let me know. I’m a graphic designer, and always hungry for work.

    So sorry things didn’t work out. But remember, where one door closes, another opens.

  226. Wow, that is awful what you were going through. You did the right thing. I was shocked when I went to log on today. I’m sure when you get CM back up, it can only get better now. So sorry about your daughter and prayers for her recovery and better health. I feel lost without CM, I deeply connected to it. Is anyone going anywhere else for now?

  227. Hey, if you’re still in debt, you should put together a CrowdTilt or somesuch that will let the community donate toward your bills. I would be delighted to put forward $25 or $50, and I’m sure I’m not at all alone in this. We could knock out your debt pretty quickly. There’s a lot of love for you in the community.

  228. At the end of the day your sob story doesnt negate the fact that you and you alone tiffi took down this site not your partner. With any luck he’ll find a way to re route it.

    PS. Are you a subby?

    1. really? i take it you’re a dom, too.

      no wonder i see so many complaints about dick doms. are you always that self centered, or do you work at it?

  229. best of luck…I hate LAME people trying to get something for nothing….maybe he needs the rack & a single tail…seriously..

  230. I’m not happy that you have control over my personal details. I would like to be able to close my account before you decide to take that right from me.

    1. Judith, she owns the domain name, not the servers which hold our data. Secondly, they always had control over any personal data you had given when signing up.
      My advice is…to avoid signing blog posts such as this one with your real name.

    2. She do not have control over you details. The partner have the server with all the details. She has a domain name and nothing else. So my guess the partner will move all the details to a new name and start over it is easy.

    3. judith, have a read around.

      tiffany doesn’t have access to the computers(called servers) with our details or emails or anything – but she owns the site address, and she asked the company that manages that address to deny access. to cut it off from the internet.

      she doesn’t have your details, and hasn’t closed your account. if the site survives, so will your account. so will everyone’s.

  231. I want to first say that you have my total support. Your hard work, dedication, and care for this community was treated so harshly – cruelly by a “friend”. That is unacceptable and you should not have had to stand for that. I am so sorry that you had to go through this all the while caring for your lovely child.

    I must say that I’m sad to not see the site as this place is where I finally accepted and embraced my dominance. I have met many people who have helped me on my journey and it is thanks to your site. Good luck! I hope you can create a BDSM dating site…I’ll be there!

  232. An alternative might be to join up with the operators of sklavenzentrale dodd komm (spelled falsely on purpose). It’s a German website, with complex features. You could be responsible for the business side, and they could basically transfer their technology to collarme.com. Both of you working on a concept possible. I am not involved with them apart from having a profile there (only one profile possible per person). Just an idea, I am interested in having access to people in NZ, OZ and partly the US. The German site doesn’t provide that.
    All the best to you and your daughter in particular.
    I’ll stop by at Collarme.com every day for years, and hopefully it will be you who comes out on top.

  233. Hi Tiffany,

    From the Netherlands, I want to say to you it is not like what is happening to you and what’s going on with the health of your dear daughter.

    I’m very sorry for you that you are now completely alone. I want to suggest you that if I can do something for you from the Netherlands, I would like to hear from you.

    I would say keep you’re head up and keep you strong though it is sometimes difficult and unfair but the sun will also gonna shine for you!


  234. I am so sorry to hear about your entire situation. Stay strong.
    I want everyone to keep this in mind. This is what is wrong with our world right now. The people with the money and control. Try and take more money from the people who actually need it and deserve it. People are way to greedy in our world. People who have money try to buy their way out. I believe she is doing the right thing. She can rely on the justice system to work. We as customers of collarme are just inconvenienced. This is for her life and more important her baby’s life. Just keep this in mind.

  235. Tiffany, you have private issues that you need to sort out in private

    Denying a huge membership interaction with eachother, or at least notice to exchange personal details (don’t forget lots of connections are new and haven’t yet reached that stage) is so very, very wrong

    As much as your situation is sad – what you have done comes across more like ‘throwing your toys out of the pram’ than a well thought-out plan of action

    1. Tiffany,

      While I’ve never met you or your partner, from what I’ve heard through the grapevine over the years (I’ve been here over a decade), I’m inclined to believe your side of the story even without having heard his. So please know I’m “with you” in spirit.

      But that said, @Tupolev is right. You’re asserting your rights as domain name owner as an apparent act of revenge or sabotage, and that just doesn’t serve anyone’s interests. You may not feel you are acting from a position of sabotage or revenge, but frankly that’s how your actions come across to the rest of us.

      Had you made a plan, built a new site, then asserted your legal right to point the collarme.com domain to that new site, we’d all understand your reasons for taking that action if provided with an explanation along the lines of your post here. But by doing what you did, you’re simply sabotaging the value of the enterprise to which you apparently have a ripe equity claim. Translated from legalese to English, you’re screwing yourself as much as you’re screwing him.

      By doing this the way you did it, you’re going to entice those who had not already abandoned CM in favor of Fetlife to just go there.

      If what you wanted was to achieve was to completely obliterate the enterprise value of your business for the sake of “not letting him have it if you can’t have it”, that will probably work but frankly it’s a very childish way to handle the situation.

      My advice: Either point the domain back to his server and use this incident as a bargaining chip to bring him to the negotiating table, else SELL the domain to Fetlife.com for whatever John will pay you for it, and walk away. Having those who still don’t know about fetlife automatically redirected there would have some value to fetlife, and you might get a few bucks out of it.

      But doing what you’re doing serves only the purpose of SABOTAGE, and you are 48% the victim of that sabotage. Sounds like your partner is 52% victim. Is the 4% differential really worth throwing away your own 48% for?

      Scott Harrington
      ScottH @ fetlife.com, the site that long ago replaced collarme.com for most of us

    2. What membership do you speak of? Did you ever spend a dime on Collarme? Go back to where you came from. It’s obvious that Tiffany only took the site down because she was cornered and with no other options. Stop thinking about yourself for one minute of your life.

    3. Bullshit.. her telling us the full story is not ‘very very wrong’. How wise it may be is not for us to determine, but as to her right to express herself…

    4. I have to agree. I understand that she rightly feels screwed over by her partner, as she should. However she seems to have forgotten on major thing here. if it were not for the members of CM, click in ads and buying products, that pay would not be an issue. So thousands of people are being punished for the actions of one asshole.

      I for one had just started talking with someone I found to be very promising. I had just offered to exchange phone numbers with him in order to get to know each other better… and guess what.. site down. Now, I do see he had replied to Me, TWICE.. but I can’t get the messages, so I will never know if we would have progressed to the next level. I am sure I am not the only one out there as well that feels just a little robbed. For those of you who think we have not lost anything… well I could have just lost out on the life partner that I have been searching for all these years.

      I understand her need and her desire to have what is rightly hers.. but she is punishing the WRONG people. There are far better ways to handle this.

    5. this is a perfect illustration that shines the light on the takers of our society – if you think you are ‘entitled’ to access to this site – then you also think my you are entitled to money, healthcare, welfare, food stamps, an obamaphone, etc… you people are choking this country. THIS IS NOT YOUR WEB SITE. Tiffany can do with it what she pleases, at least until you takers votes in enough communist to cease everyone’s ass-ets…

  236. I am getting email notifications but cant log on to check them I have been on and off this site for well over 12 years and this is the first that I cant even log in to check an email… dont know if im blocked or the site is really down

  237. I hope the jerk does the right thing and helps ya out like he promised to do. If you do make your own BDSM dating site I hope you make it easy to find. I’m not gonna waste any more of my time on collarme, even though it is free. Honor, the bonds of friendship, and honesty mean too much to me. And if the owner of the company can’t honor any of those he isn’t worth any of my time.

    In short, good bye collarme. If any of the people wish to find me somewhere else chances are I’m Drizzt316 there too. Or email me at lavadragon2000@yahoo.com

  238. I have been horrified at how Collar Me allows women to be treated. Some of the men on this site threaten girls into acts that they are not comfortable with, and feel that they are justified because of the sexual nature of this site. I have reported many messages with no results, and eventually took down my profiles because I was so disgusted by the constant bullying that takes place. I was threatened with hacking, nonconsensual blackmail, and more, but received no aid.

    I only decided to even come back here to ensure that my profiles were completely deleted.

    You have an opportunity to fix a very broken system, and I hope that you do.

  239. While it is sad about your situation, there are too many people involved who have relationships on collarme and depend on the site to stay connected to just shut it down like this. I hope you get it back up & running. Simply starting a new site is not a good alternative as many wont be able to reconnect with some of the people they have been talking to on collarme and no other way to reach them.

  240. I really hope you get everything worked out. I have had such success on cm and I do enjoy the video chat room. Good luck!

  241. Hai,
    I am feeling sorry for your loss in this hard work you made to happen. I am angry with the so called friend who does not have a heart to understand what is the meaning of friendship . I am sure you will not keep a contact and any agreement with him any more. If possible sue him and make him pay with the money he cheated from you. It will make him understand what he will do if he tries to cheat on his friends. One more thing I would like to say hear in open if his girl friend or lover is hear make sure she knows about this because one day he will dumb her just like his friend if he gets more money from another girl relationship. Once more sorry to hear your sadness and I will pay to the Almighty God to give you and your family happiness and well being from this minute so that your lovely daughter is free from her disease and your family once again gets into a flourished family of love and happiness.

    With love ,

    Master Jonny

  242. Well, this lead us to many questions. First of all, with all the empathy I can have, I don’t accept the fact that a website that made money, even free to users, closed from on day to another.

    Let’s be serious, you didn’t made money on this ONLY because of your hard work, but on the many users connecting every day. So the least respect to them would have to warn them about your sudden (and maybe hormonal – yeah, I know, can be discussed) decision.

    And from here.. What the hell about ALL OUR PERSONAL AND PRIVATE DATA? Can you really believe that we would just let you take this sites down, with all what we’ve putted on it, very intimate, without a word?

    Personally, I want a private email stating that my data will be erased, without conditions, immedialtly. Else, I would have to think about legal prosecutions.

  243. Tiffany,

    As a person who ended up getting shat on by your former partner, I urge you to keep control of the domain and find a new partner to make a new and improved CollarMe.

    I’m so sorry you had to deal with such a putz when you were already going through so much.

    I wish you all of the best.

  244. I think the majority of us understand the situation and hope everything works out good for you. Please allow us access to our data if only for a brief period should you choose to close the site down.

  245. i would have done the same thing as you now, wish you all the best
    with this msg u have my email if u ever open a new site let me know

  246. So sorry to hear about your ordeal. I really do hope you manage to get the site back up. I know I hadn’t been there long however it was a great place to meet others.
    Gutted with no way to contact those I’d made friends with. Just one of those things.
    Hoping for a speedy recovery for your daughter too.

  247. Sad to read, but you get all my support in solving your issues, the site was a great tool to find worldwide contacts, even some scammers can’t be stopped, i am traveling around the globe and would be more than happy if you get it back online,

    greetings out Dubai, MH

  248. Wow there are so many different opinions and comments but people remember this was a free site. It was a way to make connections. For years the owners working together or apart kept it free for everyone to use. You can not hate either of them for what is going on but should thank them for the time they did give you in the past. I hope everything is resolved but thank you both for the use of the site while it was up. Stop looking at the negative and thank them for what they have done. I wish them both the best in the future and no harm to come to them in the future. Good luck and happiness always. It would be nice if this site does return but will not be the end of my life if it doesn’t. I have chatted with some great people but if they were my true friends we would have swapped numbers or email address. Don’t focus what is gone but remember what you gained. Many have learned and meet like minded people. Many are better for this site while it was here and should remember its positive impact on their life. Good luck to you all.

  249. You do what you need to. People have been using this site for free for a decade. Sadly it was loaded with fakes and scams. Not by any fault of the owners per se. But sites close. It sucks. But it happens. Yes true there are three sides of any story. His, hers, truth. But guys. … Get over it. Its their site… They can do what they want with it.

  250. So sorry for this bad story. Best wish for your child :) For those wanting to reach me, please look at stychus on fetlife. Thank you.

  251. It is a shame that this “closure” was done without warning. As a Domme I have made many connections and Friends there and now they will be wondering. But most of those that care know where to find their Miss. For those that don’t they can at rebasboss242@yahoo.com

  252. Damn. CM got me laid so many times. I guess I ll have to find another free website.

    I’m just going to pretend I like BDSM stuff as usual to get laid ;D

    Goodluck to you and thanks to all 8 encounters I’ve met on CM in the past 2 years :)


  253. Such a shame that one irrational person is creating all this havoc. I hope he sees some sense in the near future.

    I’d be more than happy to donate to you and your daughters’ well being. Its the least I can do after having use of Collarme for free all these years. X

  254. Tiffany, first and far most important is your daughter – I do hope she is doing well. Secondly, what a complete fucktard that ass wipe of a no friend that person is. My heart is breaking for you. Not only you lost your dream (the company) but you lost your friend. I too have gone threw the same thing. Different line of business but the crazy ass bullshit…You have every right to do what you have done. You need to protect what ever is yours and what ever you have put into that company and get what ever out of that company you need.
    If you need to talk I am here for you – from someone who knows and has lived threw the same thing you are going threw.
    But I got one big thing for you to remember…you have someone very special who is needing you and who can steal your heart away with just a little coooooo…that is the one who really matters ….ok….

  255. CM over the years became like Detroit. Lots of flim-flam, fakes, and scammers. Africans especially liked to play games here. The few, and I mean FEW, intelligent interesting girls I met here were eventually driven out by the same fake/scammers. Lots of mentally ill were also attracted to this site. Time to move on and reboot folks. There’s a lot of me relieved it is gone. Now the drama! That will keep me coming back here like a bad soap opera!

    Respectfully Signed,

    Robert T. Bruce

  256. Pregnancy Discrimination Act
    The Pregnancy Discrimination Act is a United States federal statute. It amended Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to “prohibit sex discrimination on the basis of pregnancy.” The Act covers discrimination “on the basis of pregnancy, childbirth, or related medical conditions.”

  257. Sending positive vibes your way. It would have been nice to receive a message prior to it’s termination in order to retrieve contact information though.

    Anyone who wants to contact me can find me on Fet as GoddessCaraMel7!

  258. Wow—that all suck-best of luck-
    Wow still-was just on this morning
    a few hour warning would have been nice

  259. Listen, this young lady had every right to pull the domain down. It’s her’s to do as she wishes. Hopefully this will get straightened out in the scheme of things. She gave everyone on CM a wall to post to those who are searching for their kinky friends, she didn’t have to do that. So use this as a search point.

    And I hope your daughter is on the road to recovery, it’s such a heartbreaker to see an innocent little baby suffer and go through all she has at such a young age.

  260. Unfortunately his actions toward you do not surprise me, especially with how the site has declined. For those who feel they can castigate you on here for taking the domain down, you are idiots, and need to get a life. It’s obvious she has done all she can before doing this, the idiot doesn’t want to own his own shit.

    Tiffany, I wish you and your family well, and so look forward to a new and improved site in the future. Until then, anyone I was talking to?? Well, he already knows how to contact me outside of CM.

  261. Well I’m sorry for your current misfortunes however, taking this out on a community is a little uncalled for. I think there are other ways you could of handled this.

    To anyone I was communicating with & have not yet given contact information to you, can find me online, email me, twitter etc.. <3
    Best Regards,

  262. If these problems have been going on for so long then plenty of time to warn users so they could make alternative arrangements with contacts, but no.
    This is just another scam.

  263. Good luck to you Tiff with all that you do. I wish you and your child a speedy and healthy long term life.

    It is sad that the site has come to this level of nonsense. However if YOU owned the Domain name then you can do as you wish with it. Take it down put it up as you feel. You bought it and that is final your ex partner should have thought of that fact before he cut you out.

    He should have taken legal matters to purchase the Domain rights to the site you both created. Anyone who Owns a Domain name or business knows that if there is splitting of partners the one side Always offers to purchase the rights to the Domain. If matters are not resolved and a “cut throat” tactic such as what was explained the Owner of the Domain has the legal right to suspend cancel or sell the Domain. Tiff all you did was turn off / suspend the hosting of the site and that is fine and within your rights. Advertisers are not going to what to pay to NOT see their ads. This is a smart move on your part as it forces your ex to actually communicate with you to resolve this matter.

    As for those on the site like it was stated many times before if the contacts you had were true/ deep you would have already made prior alternative offsite contacts…email chats skype or know of each other on other sites also mentioned.

    I wish all CM users both real and or “fakes” to look at this time as a how strong were your efforts to communicate on the site? or are you like Tiff’s ex out in the cold “LOCKED OUT”

    Mizz Tigressnla

  264. First, congrats about your daughter.

    Sorry to hear about the trouble. I will miss the site and the people I speak to on a regular basis. For selfish reasons, I hope things are resolved soon… :)

    My friends can email me at steelerfan1393@yahoo.com.

  265. God, what a prick! He deserves to crash and burn… and those criticising you for doing what you had no other option but to do at this point, should crawl back under their stones.

    I have a daughter who had to have a Fallow’s repair. It was a completely harrowing, emotionally draining experience at the time, but the repair (she only needed it doing the once, which was awful enough) was successful. She’s now 21, in good health and a final year Student Nurse. My heart goes out to you and I only hope that your daughter’s outcome is as good as mine was.

    I think you’ll understand when I say that the rest of this, by comparison, is just trivial, though of course you deserve to be fully compensated for the value you worked to build for so long.

  266. Tiffany,
    I am sorry that you have to go through such an ordeal. Keep your faith and stay strong. You are doing the right thing. You and your family are most important and you are the one to take care of you and your daughter. Good job! Thank you for CM. It has been a fun experience. I just wish I found it sooner.

    My friends can contact me at the same name on Fetlife.

    Good luck. I hope everything works out well for you!
    Thank you,

  267. Bottom line is you are essentially holding us for ransom to solve a personal issue. Yea it sucks and we all have problems, but I don’t believe it’s right to punish your loyal users for it. I’m sure it also violates all sorts of Terms of Service. I’m sorry but this is just immature, selfish and immoral. A community built on openness and understanding downed by the opposite values.

    1. Are you dumb? Stop being a whiny selfish bitch! She is not getting a dime for working hard to provide you with a quick wank. You are scum for saying that! No different that the asshole who doesn’t share the profits.

  268. Tiffany I understand and can help you get what you deserve. I own temptations gifts and apparel. I have the best lawyer in the business for a site like this. He is the only lawyer for this type of site. I also have IT friends who can make the site thrive. I also have friends in the industry to further the sales of advertising. I have been a member of this site almost from the start. I want to help and be apart of the cm family. Contact me at navypirate01@aol.com

  269. Hello Tiffany…
    First let me start with Sorry to hear of your ongoing problem with your daughter.
    Second of the ongoing problem with your partner.
    Most concerned for that of your daugther with hope and blessings to you both and for a speedy healthy recovery.

    I might be of assistance to you with the website and servers.
    Do contact me if you are in need of moving in a different direction.

    Best Wishes…

  270. CM has become a very important part of my life.
    I’ve met some of the most important people in my life from this site.
    And, I want to do whatever I can to keep it alive — ethically. How can I help?

  271. Yes i have been on and off this site for 10 plus years, i have seen what it was and what it has become. I would very much support you in building a new better site. I will keep your daughter in my thoughts, as well as you in dealing with your former friend.

  272. I understand the reason and hope everything turns out well for you and your daughter. It’s unfortunate that the members were shut out with no advanced warning. Sure, for some, it’s about maintaining connections that for whatever reason, never made it past CM. Personally, I have been off and on the site for years, and the reality is, you get what you pay for. In the beginning, it was great, but over time, it declined and so did it’s members. If you’re on there and have any bit of savy, you can sniff out a scammer fairly quickly. I enjoyed writing there, journaling etc. To think that everything I have written is gone, without even the slightest bit of notice, just doesn’t seem fair. Would 24 hours have been so terrible?

  273. Your former partner and friend dare i say is no longer the person you knew. Seems ego and other factors clouded and corrupted his mind beyond the point of no return. All the monetary issues aside no friend would never not wish you and your child well considering the overwhelming scenario your family faces. The two of you built a great place and if only he could have kept to his legally binding word the utopia would still exist. I neither blame your nor hold this sad choice to do what needed to be done on you. In fact im cheering you on, this person is not a nice human being anymore. That aside i am looking to reconnect with a few people two in particular whom a meeting was scheduled with tomorrow of all days. But this isnt about me its about your fight and i say stand strong in your choice. Hopefully “slut4dailyuse” and “onmyknees4black” will see this and drop me a line on fetlife. Formerly collarme’s blackbullboss now fetlife’s blackbullboss80. Thank you.

  274. Best wishes and sorry you had to go through all that. when you get your new site up send me a link my girl and I loved collarme and will gladly sign up to new site

  275. Fuck him , this stupid asshole partner .

    @Tiffany : we feel sorry for your daughter . we will pray for youro and her hope every thing will be going better :)

    Greetings from Cairo – Egypt

  276. I’m proud to see a women in a lifestyle business being assertive by taking a definitive provocative position against a, at least superficially from what I know of the history, a viciously malicious misogynist. Furthermore, when you do find yourself in litigation it won’t be the expense you find as disheartening as the good ole boy system in place. Something similar happened on another kink site many years ago that ended in a cooperation buying it and turning it for profit. Nonetheless I hope you get the satisfaction you wish in this endeavor, but if not, at least peace. I’ve run several businesses so if I can be of help please let me know.

    For those bitching that you had an obligation to notify anyone (ahead of time) you were discontinuing providing a FREE service is the epitome of a self-serving sense self-entitlement too commonplace in society today. Paying customers have rights, as that’s a form of legal contract; free services providers have no such obligation to their users. However I do agree it would of been a more professional business model to do so, although I also understand why you didn’t. Doing so would’ve given your “partner” the upper-hand, and when dissolving any partnership (business or personal) that obviously isn’t amicable, giving them more consideration to him, then they ever afforded you, would ultimately be your further undoing.

    Hope your daughter lives a long and healthy life as I too know the challenges of having a child with disabilities. Take care…

  277. Tiffany–I’m very hooked up in the tech world. If you want to do a new site, contact me. We could make a much better site than COLLARME.( It DID have many functional problems.)
    PS….I’m in NYC & my real name is Lesley:)

    Also—all subs looking for Diva of Discipline……contact me at serveimelda@gmail.com.

  278. First things first Tiffany…worry about your daughter and her health, the world will keep on spinning without CM.

    I applaud the way you have handled this. Given what you have been thru, you could have easily just yanked the site and let that be the end of it. But you took the time to explain, catalog all the problems you’ve encountered, and why you were left with nothing but the nuclear option of taking the site down all together.

  279. It is really down. I am thankful I had received a very important email from someone special (DomanantJohn) :) thank you for allowing me to use this site. When you have a child with special needs they do come first. I am just grateful for the resource and I do have the email of the person I want to talk to. At least people can leave messages for people here that is a plus

  280. Tiffany,

    As one of the early advertisers on CollarMe I hope you can work out the differences between you and your partner.

    But that is merely business. The real priority is your child and that is where your energy and attention really belongs.

    Keeping good thoughts for you.


  281. Tiffany,

    Do what you have to do. The website is a dream and a business and obviously your partner has lost sight that he was just that, a partner. Each of you controls a portion of the business, and if he has neglected to compensate you, then taking this rather extreme step may be the only thing that brings him back to the table.

    The fact that he does not control the domain is something he should have considered. I rather imagine that detail is going to be brought forcefully to his attention by the advertisers who have contracts with him.

    Best wishes on the recovery of your daughter.

  282. hey, have you tried GoFundMe or one of those sites to help your daughter? i have friends who have had lots of positive experience with it

  283. Sad to hear about the dramas, Collarme.com is a great site and service. I hope it all gets sorted out. That said, more importantly, I hope your daughter is getting the treatment she needs and is improving. She is your first priority, Collarme can wait! Take care.

  284. I haven’t posted on CM since the fiasco regarding the mods. I choose Fridays to see if there are any topics of interest to read even though I will never post there again. Honestly if I owned the domain I would have shut it down when things started spiraling out. All these “subscribers” whining about losing contact with loved ones should damned well have cared enough about those contacts to take if off site. Unless they were paid members they have only themselves to blame.

    If someone wants to play hard ball they better have the balls to make the tough decisions, regardless of bad feelings. Do what you gotta do. I would have pulled the plug a lot sooner and admire your restraint.

  285. We have a choice to make, we can be part of the problem or part of the solution. I chose to be part of the solution so here is my idea (not original but thank you to the NRA). I do not know how many of us are part of the Collar me family, but I am sure that if most of us committed to give at least $20.00 to the cause, we could have Collar me or a reasonable site to use once more. Yes some of us could give more.

    Tiffany please feel free to contact me.




  286. Tiffany, as a legal owner of the collarme domain, I have total respect in the actions you’ve taken. For those of you who cannot have a life without the internet, it is sad the Information Age has consumed and addicted your life.
    Tiffany i totally sympathise with your efforts and courage, it takes a big and bold move to take a stance as you have and I am sure this is only the beginning.

  287. “What you did to us is as bad as what your partner did”.

    Can’t believe there are people here comparing taking away a woman’s only support, endangering her child’s life, if she wasn’t able to pay the treatment and putting her in thousands of debts to you not being able to wank off to your kink.
    Nice one assholes.

    P.S. if a relationship was that important to you, you’d have already arranged other forms of contact.

  288. Hi Tiffany,

    I feel for your plight with your daughter and the troubles you are having with the site. I do wish you the very best and hope your daughter a full recovery. I cannot imagine what you must be going thru with her.

    However we have only heard your side. The problem for the user are, you gave us no warning. Giving us the opportunity to close our accounts and remove our personal information would have been the appropriate course of action. At least consider putting the site back up so we can have the amount of time needed to do so.

  289. i’m sorry i hope you get what you need. personally if i was you i would make a new site and set it up for only you and then you hire people. only saying.

  290. I will say that I am very sorry for you issue, both with health and your partner, who really wasn’t your partner as there was no partner agreement. This is a legal matter. Airing your case here only hurts your real case. It shows you to be an extortionist and a blackmailer. You had the choice to be an adult. Obviously you chose not to.

    Other have said it, while we feel bad that you have not gotten your money, truly that’s YOUR problem for not having a better contract and one from the start. You made a lot of assumptions and we all know that that gets us.

    Also, we only have YOUR side here.

    Even though your health benefits are maxed, you have outlets for those, ask your health care provider about that. Also, St Jude’s and the Children’s Miracle Network work with people for that all the time.

    Do the adult thing, sell the domain and withdraw yourself from the issue and move on.

  291. Hello Tiffany
    That is an awful burden to be faced.You ran a good site with collarme.Please keep me in mind as you begin another;if such be the case.

  292. I feel for you and hope everything gets better for you. I guess everyone has to run into nan ass hole from time to time,.as for my friends who were on collar me you can reach me at asgili.ditlihi at gmail dot com

  293. Sorry you’re having personal issues but your resolution is a crock of shit. Your lack of being more hands on is your own fault (short of your daughter’s health). Where’s my pics, my info, contacts, etc. How about answering those questions for us… the people who helped make the site what it is/was. What an inconsiderate, completely selfish move on your part.

  294. After 10 years of collarme.com membership, the forging of several great friendships, a few relationships and one marriage (albeit a failed one), I do hope that this website can continue on in the future.

    If it cannot, I hope that you can find a way to make some lemonade out of the lemons you’ve been handed, Tiffany.

    Best Wishes.

  295. I’m so sorry to hear all of this. It sounds like am incredibly trying experience. I know there’s little we can do to help, but just know that the community that you helped cultivate is all behind you, and that you are I’m our thoughts.

  296. Hi CM community,
    I am so sorry to hear that CM went down. Tiffany, I hope you and your family find the strength to get through this and through the health problems your daughter is facing!
    Obviously that is more important.
    Its unfortunate that your friend sabotaged you, the site and all of us in the way he did. I would not mind paying a yearly membership cost or a monthly membership cost. Might help get rid of the fakes and also help you meet all the costs!

    If anyone needa to contact takeyourpride, my email: brilliantcolors@yahoo.com

    Hope to have CM back and be well!!
    Miss Alyssa

  297. good thing i down graded my profile recently as i got tired of no replies and the fakers and scam profiles..leaving your personal issues a side, what happens to all the data which you have on file now you have taken the site down ? no one can edit or delete their profiles, if collarme.com does not come back or is set up again by you under a different name what of the personal data of the customers/subscribers to the site..if i had made friends here as many have/had, i would have certainly gone to the next level of having their email address outside of the web site and they would have mine.however people are entitled to their privacy and prefer to use the site to stay in touch so you can’t really blame Tiff for loosing your contacts,though i do not agree what she has done. ..you are providing a service to allow people of like minds to meet contact each other and yet,because of your personal difference between your partner and yourself your customer base is been made to suffer as a result of it. you have brought the thousands of members of CM into your personal issues which does not concern us. don’t get me wrong i/we understand the position you are in and i am happy that least you have given me/us the reason why you have pulled the site down,however it is not my/our fight,that is between you and your partner. my principal concern would be..what happens to my personal data which collarme.com has on its files( not that I have much,because I have been subjected to scams on here but those folks have been ousted as the saying goes if it looks to good to be true it most likley is not on here, and have also contacted real Dominatrix/Mistresses who photos have been down loaded from their personal web sites and up loaded onto CM by fake advertisers…. free membership tends to attract such types …your screening of new members leaves a lot to be desired and the cleaning of dormant profiles which show profilers not logged in for a few years equally pity full. in hind site maybe this situation is a blessing as CM needs a huge over haul people dont really complain as long as the site works for what they need it for..I feel sorry for all the people who have lost out of their fan/friendship base..and while your personal issues are yours to sort out. your web site provides a service and relies on customers to make it work….how you generate an income out of it was between you and your partner. if you are going to run an operation and generate revenue from it.that is between the partners to sort out..pulling the web site down without advance notice to the people who make it work taking into consideration why,was not the very intelligent as while you have gained sympathy you have also gained disgruntled people..when offering a public service you cant please every one..once again i bring up the data. there is legislation in place regarding data protection .. how are you going to deal with this issue since no one can gain access to the web site to change .. transfer or delete their accounts ? you mention your personal accounts/funds are low..just wondering how you will manage if the thousands of members of CM decide to take legal action to protect their personal information which you are holding on file that they can no longer access..taking down the site with no advance warning could result in disputes for years.. not to worry..i am lucky i do not have any photos om my profile and my own profile has very little of personal needs just general terms etc..good luck sorting out the mess.
    regards splodge.

  298. Tiffany, these comments are just embarrassing. Do us all a favour and log into WordPress to turn off the ability for people to add comments. Your simple statement is enough and all that is needed. Thanks!

  299. Alright, now that I’ve figured out how to recover my CM info I have managed to calm down somewhat and refocus. I want to thank Tiffany for the creation of CollarMe, which was the very first kinky social site I stumbled across many years ago when I began using the internet to explore my interest in this strange new animal called bdsm. Hopefully she will have it back up and running again soon, and minus the fenderhead it will be better than ever. Sending her shiny happy slippery unicorn wishes. <3

  300. I CALL BULLSHIT !!!!!! you did this for none of us . You did not even care because if you did ……….You would have posted something to inform us of the impending doom at collarme.

    Seriously make me read that story…….. we all have a story . Face it you made a bad business decision and instead of handling this professionally you made it personal and dragged your dirty laundry into the public eye and used your daughter to rally support behind you ! Shame on you !

    1. @Rob

      She doesn’t own, manage or maintain the servers. Just how do you think she is supposed to let everyone know it will be taken offline? She cant. The only thing she can do is to change where the dns name points to, as she has done.

  301. Greetings Tiffany, I am sorry to hear all this. I look forward to you having your site back up. Meanwhile, I am one of the ones using the back door to access Collarme, and I hope that doesn’t interfere with you reaching a good resolution with your partner. Please consider mediation with him – mediation is what you use when both of you swear that there can be no resolution. It’s worth a try.
    One thing I’ll say, with the back door entrance to Collarme, at least those horribly gross ads aren’t showing up so much. I mean, I’m okay with X, and XX, and even XXX, but some of them should be rating X-treme. If I could turn off some of the worst ones.
    I think you’re great. If you start a new site, please let me know. And add a sugardaddy section with realistic price ranges for non-sexual stuff, because there is a growing interest in that. If your partner is unwilling to work something out, as soon as you start a new site, I’ll leave Collarme.
    Take Care,

  302. Sorry to hear about your daughter :( I send best wishes to the both of you <3

    Unfortunately the quality of men on collarme sucked big time! Lots of flakes and lousy doms! I hope it improves!

  303. I am so sorry to hear about all your agonies in life. I can completely understand your decision to take the site down. I hope an alternative Collarme will be there soon

  304. Perhaps your daughter could use a bit of his stone heart?
    No one should go through any of this. I only joined in 2011. Best of luck to you and your daughter!

  305. If any one I have been in contact with wants to message me, I can be reached at cnsweet1936@yahoo.com. I would have liked to have had a chance to close my account before you took it down. Wishing you the best. Bamaladie

  306. Well, I guess if collarme does come back we can hope the Nigerians and other scammers will somehow be excluded. I have been on CM for many years, MarkinHouston and then MarkinLaredo, and the recent decline and seeming proliferation of fakes and scammers was a real drag. However, I have met a lot of good people from CM, and unlike fetlife most of them were not snotty or rude to new people on the site, or those who happen not to believe that everyone has to abide by the same rules. I may not like the same things you like, doesn’t mean I cannot be a master ( the fact that I have been for most of my adult life kind of takes the fight out of that argument) it just means we do things differently. I hate the scammers, the frauds, the flakes who change their minds more often than their underwear, and the camwhores trying to con people into paying to see them nude, but I still enjoyed CM up until about an hour ago when it went away.

    This may cause an economic meltdown in Nigeria and Ghana, and cause more than a few people to need to find something else to do at work while not actually working. It will also lead to a lot of camwhores and assorted other scammers needing to find another website, probably cause a lot of cops posing as underage slaves to have to actually find real crimes to investigate instead of jacking off while talking to people they are trying to entrap. Just imagine how much damage this shut down of the site will cause, it will be hard to replace CM, hopefully we don’t have to.

    Mark email mark2gmtrans@yahoo.com

  307. Why did we get no warning? I got an email from a friend, who doesn’t have any other contact for me, an hour before I woke up, and I can’t reply or give out my contact info.

    This is the best I can do….plug my moniker into yahoo and send me an email. Please include your moniker. :)

  308. Dear Tiffany, as a long time Collarme member and equally longtime fetish enthusiast and former meet-in-person group founder/operator I would like you to know that many of us have been “in your shoes” and support your decision to exercise what control you have over your situation . . . . in this case exercising your right as the domain name owner to steer users away from the existing site to a temporary location where you have taken a lot of precious time to clearly explain what has happened.

    Pay no attention to those who are belly aching about having “no warning” of the matter. Smart users would have already made offsite email connections anyway, those who complain about missing chat rooms or perving profiles…. well they can get back to it eventually when a new site goes up or you iron out some solid and legally binding agreement with that scumbag “business partner”.

    Been there, done that more than once, sometimes people that you thought you could trust, people that you thought were your closest friends, simply kick you in the guts.

    Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do and I for one appreciate the time I’ve had on Collarme, I back you up fully and I will look forward to notification when you, hopefully, can get a reincarnated Collarme up and running.

    Good luck and take care,


  309. I’m disgusted and disappointed by the entire situation. Both sides have behaved poorly and I don’t know who to believe since we dont have his side. What is clear is that he underestimated her…to an enormous degree. I know first hand what it is like to help build something and then have a greedy person want to take all the cake and run. You can wait for justice or make your own….and I dont fault her for making her own. He counted on her being weak and she may indeed be a subby but he pushed the mommy button…and messing with her ability to care for that baby cost him . I can also believe that over the years he tried hard to get that ownership out of her name…in the end…keeping it was her security that he wouldn’t try to screw her over and that is what has saved her. She was able to tell her side without his blocking it and now when we move on…and you know we will. Kinksters are nothing if not resourceful and resilient…at least she isn’t the villian and if she is…she at least managed to smear a little taint on him as she went down. If she can’t have it, he can’t either….and I get it but I don’t care. Two drops in a bucket, fuck it. I’m off to this society 31 thing…joining me anyone?

  310. Although the site is down, I do appreciate you coming forward to explain why. I hope you two can resolve the differences you have soon as I enjoy the site.

    My sincerest thoughts for you and your daughter.


  311. hi tiffany.. please contact me via email.. so that i can give you some information that may expedite the return of collarme and also prevent this from happening in the future

  312. I am sorry that there has been so much problems with this site collarme. Ones personal life with ones own family is very important more than anything no matter what. With that said I offer an alternative site http://www.dungeonmasterkeeper.com. I own the site. It is a small bdsm site with a lot of help we have made it our own. While there are many out there looking for a new home this is on alternative until collarme can get back on their feet if it is even possible. Sometimes like any relationship you better know the person before making any commitments.

    I wish Tiffany and all its member good luck and hope someday you are able to your dream of collarme and for now your family is more important.