Where is Collarme?

Greetings

You have reached this page because you attempted to visit Collarme.com and the site is down. If you wish to know why Collarme is unavailable, I suggest you grab a drink and some popcorn, as this tale is a long and harrowing one.

My name is Tiffany. I am one of the two founders of Collarme.com. I have been involved with Collarme from its inception as a fledgling idea to give individuals in the BDSM community greater freedom of expression than existed on other sites to the thriving community it has turned into.

I have poured years of my life into Collarme and those who were on the site early on as well as all of the wonderful volunteers we have had throughout the years know who I am. I generally keep a low profile, but for anyone who dealt with Collarme, from volunteering to advertising to press coverage and resolution of legal issues, I was responsible for managing the site’s non technical operations.

I am the individual responsible (please don’t hate me!) for the ads on Collarme and therefore the person to thank for keeping Collarme free. I transformed Collarme from a pet project into an extremely successful business and would have done much more if I had been given the opportunity.

During many of these years of work on Collarme I was largely uncompensated, living as friends with its co-founder. I was fine with this arrangement as I always assumed that I would be able to earn a modest living from the site’s operation or sale at some point. While my partner controlled the servers, I was given ownership of the domain, which I have retained for many, many years. We never entered into a contract because we were the best of friends and trusted each other implicitly.

Unfortunately, several years ago, my relinquishment of daily control of the site led to a rapid decline in Collarme.com and the experience of many users. I moved back to the East Coast and helped with Collarme as requested, but for the most part let my partner run Collarme.com as he wished. Under his management the site began to fall apart. If you have been on Collarme for more than five years, then I am sure you know the issues to which I allude, difficulties that are mirrored on the administrative side which most users do not see.

My partner begged me to quit my full time job and “captain the ship.” When I managed Collarme.com on a daily basis, the site thrived and we both wished to return it to its former glory. At the time I was considering this request, a friend of mine insisted that I enter into a formal contract to establish my interests in the site I co-founded and was abandoning a well-paying career to run.

A contract was drawn up which granted me a modest salary, less than what I was currently earning at my job, as well as accrual of a small percentage of Collarme.com’s gross revenues.

This contract was to last for two years since this was the anticipated time frame I believed would be necessary to turn the site around. By the end of the contract, I would be receiving 12% of the site’s gross revenues as long as it was in operation and receive 48% of proceeds upon sale if it were ever sold. This contract was meant to formally establish me as an equal partner in the site, which was our intent from is creation.

The contract led to an initial period of substantial improvement. Many administrative changes were implemented and the site’s revenues increased significantly. Unfortunately, my partner became increasingly difficult to work with. I hired numerous developers to code new features and improve existing ones and all of them quit because my partner was extremely uncooperative. He began stifling my attempts to make even the most minor changes and projected his personal tastes onto everything. As an example, an advertiser wanted to put up an extremely tasteful ad which showed several young ladies’ perfectly manicured legs and feet. The ad was obviously for the large segment of the BDSM community who have an interest in foot fetishes, but he was “grossed out” by this and insisted that “no one wants to look at womens’ feet.”

I could provide dozens of examples of how I was prevented from doing my job and within the extremely limited powers I had, I did the very best I could. My partner gradually continued to take away any autonomy I possessed. He would routinely pull my access to administrative functions, affiliate accounts, and analytics. There was even a point when the advertising e-mail was broken and I would contact him multiple times a day about fixing it and offering suggestions. It took two months before he restored it.

My partner would routinely ignore my phone calls, emails, and texts. I was doing my absolute best to help him and work with him, but someone put it in his head that I was out to take the site away from him and that is how I was treated. Ten+ years of working lockstep with each other within the closest of friendships and I was treated like I am a total stranger.

Eight months into the contract, I discovered I was pregnant. At twenty weeks I discovered that my daughter would be born with a severe congenital heart defect called Tetralogy of Fallot. The variant she was diagnosed with was particularly rare and complex. I continued to work on Collarme.com and even answered work emails while I was at the hospital in labor.

Five days after I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, we discovered that her condition was far more severe than anticipated. So much so that the best pediatric cardio-thoracic surgeon in NYC suggested that I consult with the world’s leading pediatric cardio-thoracic surgeon who specializes in her condition. He stated that she was in the top 10% of most severe cases he had ever seen.

When I told my partner this news and indicated that I would have to take a few weeks off to deal with this, the very next day I received an email with a notice of termination of my contract as well as a note from an attorney that I would not be paid for my prior month’s work or for the two month notice period provided for in the contract, during which I offered to continue working.

Despite Collarme.com’s substantial revenues, I was told that the company cannot afford to pay me and would be reviewing its finances. The stated objective was to provide me the payments due under the contract to the extent that the company could afford them.

Out of respect for my former partner I wanted to resolve issues amicably and waited. Since my daughter was born in October I reached my insurance’s out of pocket maximum for both 2013 and 2014, with an open heart surgery occurring each year.

My daughters father earns a high five figure salary which is fine in NYC as half of our household income goes to rent, but not enough to live off of and deal with the costs of flying across the country for weeks at a time, thousands of dollars worth of medical expenses and the expenses associated with a new baby. I was unable to look for a job because my daughter was so fragile that she was (and still is) unable to be put in daycare.

During this entire time, my partner, someone I considered at one point to be my closest friend, did not contact me once. I was in California for my daughter’s heart surgeries, a thirty minute drive from him, and he refused to meet and work towards living up to his obligations.

The day I was leaving California following my daughter’s second heart surgery, five months after the termination of my contract, I received a settlement offer. This was a one time “take it or leave it” offer that was, kindly viewed, a joke. I was so desperate at this point that I indicated I might agree to it. The only stipulation I had was that in the terms of the settlement agreement my non compete, which was to be up one year from the date of the notice of termination, not be extended and that I could build a site of my own and compete in a commercially reasonable manner if I so wished. I was never told this offer was withdrawn but suddenly, days would turn into weeks of emails and phone calls to a non responsive attorney who I believe was being stonewalled by my former partner. I was simply told over and over again that my partner was unreachable or that this was a particularly bad month or an accountant was working over the finances.

What does that have to do with why CM is down?

As I mentioned above, I am the legal owner of the domain Collarme.com. I never would have contemplated taking the site down but at this point things have turned into a farce. I have gone over seven months without a cent while accumulating significant debts and caring for with a daughter who has a severe medical condition while my partner enjoys a lavish lifestyle while claiming abject poverty.

I could litigate my breach of contract claim and I would win as my former partner has no defense for his actions. Litigation is an expensive and messy process that would take years and unfortunately I have expenses now. As the registered owner of the domain for many years I have sadly concluded that the only means to bringing about the resolution of this sad drama is to put my former partner in exactly the same position he put me.

If you know him, as some of you do, I implore you to reach out to him and convince him to do the right thing and live up to the promises he made as well as his moral commitment to a friend who built Collarme with him. To the rest of you, I want to sincerely apologize that you are the innocent victims of his wantonly irresponsible behavior and the unfortunate results it has brought about. However this conflict is resolved, I now know that I cannot rely upon my former partner and dearest friend and in the following year may work to build a BDSM dating site that is run effectively, responsibly and for the benefit of its users, not as a personal kingdom.

231 thoughts on “Where is Collarme?”

  1. I assume you’re not the charity type, but if there was a way I could help you and your daughter, and I mean financially, I would be really happy to do so.

    1. This is MistressAdaperio – those subs and slaves I am considering, (as well as my friends) please meet me on either of the following websites (both are free, but accept donations of course). Hopefully collarme will be back.

      society31.com
      Or
      FetLife.com

    2. I honestly think an awful lot of CollarMe aren’t even going to see any of this – most of them are just going to see a “Too many redirects” webpage error, curable only by the user deleting cookies.

    3. As others have stated, I too have been a member of CM over 5 years & the decline, I attributed to the increase in scams & trolls. This explains a great deal, thank you.

      I think you have a number of supporters should you wish to create a site that functions. It is funny that the “other” bdsm & alternative lifestyle sites also pander to the mainstream ignorance rather than those of us out here that are real live human beings, with foot fetishes! lol

      Good luck & all the best to you & your family~ everything comes around the way it is supposed to be.

    4. I would like to throw my hat in the ring I just finished my second business degree and going for my MBA as of august to work with/for you to make a new CM. I met my spouse through CM after 9 months of wading through garbage. I support the idea of cm if it was better implemented which i think is your vision.

    5. Hello Tifanny, I am very proud of you and keep up the good work. I am looking forward that collarme will be back as stable as it is before. I will give a pray with your daugther condition. Well I am single and never had a child, and I know how it feels because I want to have a baby as well. It is a dream that I want to fulfill, Collarme is a best place where lifestyle, real lifestyle of BDSM are on here, I have met several members of collarme and as they say, I learned from them, Wish you all the best to make your family stable and healthy.

  2. Tiffany stick to your guns and do what is right for you with your business and your personal life. Be strong, be fearless and be safe. He doesn’t sound very stable.
    I love collarme and I hope it gets resolved for I dearly will miss it. I have been in collarme for years and years. I have met amazing people and some downright dumb asses…grins that is the course of life. I wish you could regain control of collarme but if not hope there is away for you to let us know of a new site you start for I will be there. Hugs..take care of YOU and then you will have all the time and energy to take care of your daughter.

    1. I can think of only one thing to add to the aboved comment, that is that so many of us “timers” have been seeing the slow decline of the sight over the past year, it has sent so many well known long timers to look elsewhere for there wants and needs. Sad that poeple, friends can not work together to the one purpose, client “satisfaction”! My thought and prayers will be with you and your family, and maybe someday our paths will cross again.

      Be strong,

  3. You stick at it because the advertisers will now be looking at getting their money back and any breach of contract your partner has with them. As your contract has been breached you cannot be held responsible for your partner’s promises to other third parties. They now have more to lose than you do and so I expect you will soon have your partner begging you to come back on your terms… Good luck to you and I hope your partner gets all that is coming… I hope CM comes back as I have new relationships brewing but your welfare is what counts here and that of your family. Best of Luck and Best Regards… Paul

  4. Well, that sounds like a horrible story but you could perhaps have given us at least a days warning. I mean I was in the middle of what seemed like a very promising conversation etc. Please let us know if it comes back up and I am of course in the mean time happy to join your petition.

    Sean

    1. interesting, that this happened just after someone’s mother was told he was on here. i dont know about her story. maybe it’s true. was she also responsible for the constant ads from the male selling his secret tips on how to abuse women? or did her male partner force that on the business? i dont know, i’m just sayin.’

  5. I am so very sorry to hear about the poor health of your daughter. In my opinion that should be your only concern. Those of us who use the site survived before it and will continue to do so after. You take care of yourself and your family.
    Best wishes to you and the little miracle.

  6. Tiffany, if what you are saying is true then you should start the website on your own. You will easily get many users because of the sites familiarity because general users like me don’t care who owns or runs the site. We care about the huge number of kinky people available at a single platform from all over the world. Very few BDSM dating sites has this. Go on, are with collarme no matter who runs it.

  7. Bless your heart. Alas, collarme was once a grand site, but the proliferation of scammers-many of them employed by adult friend finder networks, has sullied a once grand site. You have a lot of support here, Tiffany. Let’s start another site. …like a kick starter type effort.
    Anyway, sorry for your troubles. I hope your
    your daughter gets better somehow. Take care.

    Kevin

  8. If he wants to do things his way, let him but he can do it as something other than collarme.
    Reputations are hard won and easily lost.

    With the right help and a decent, technical partner I think you could relaunch collarme and restore it to it’s glory in a few weeks.

  9. Hey Tiff, i am was of many who enjoy and found good and bad things in Collarme, so perhaps with a little work on the site and either a volunteer donation or just a monthly charge of $5. im sure everybody or almost everybody can do so meanwhile and when your stuffs are back on the right path, then make it free as usual.

  10. Sounds like your partner is a real dick. Stick to your guns, if CollarMe stays down there are other places we can go to. It is a shame your partner is not here in Australia because I would happily teach him some manners. You look after yourself, we will not blame you.

    I think you should name your partner, that way we could happily send him shame mail. I hope your daughter is okay and her medical problems can be fixed. Definitely put her as your number 1 priority.

    Take care, all the best.

  11. Collarme was my first site to explore what I believed, but did not understand. I have met some lovely people on this site. That said you have to do what you have to do, but I hope that it is all resolved soon

  12. W/we both are very sorry you and your family have to go through this. That is very sad! I hope things can turn around for you and yours through this tough time!

    Keep your head up, you seem like a very strong woman!

    MrIbus and Gem

  13. are you going at some point to redo collarme.com under your name if so I will join you new website collarme.com?

  14. I would be willing to host the site, and database’s for you. I love this site and would hate to see if go away. My company will gladly put the site on our servers. We have a vast content delivery network so the content would be spread on multiple servers across the globe but everyone will feel and look like it’s hosted on 1 main source. The site’s uptime will be 99.99% due to the fact if one web server is down, customer’s or clients are just transfered and the web page is loaded from a different server but will give the exact same experience and content.

  15. Tiffany, I’ve always enjoyed collarme, not only for obvious reasons, but for the fact that it’s free and well put together.

    I’m a webdeveloper of several original adult sites myself, and perhaps I could help in your quest to build a better BDSM site next year.
    I’m very openminded when it comes to building new ideas that have never been done before.

  16. I am so sorry for you and all that has happened! Karma is a b***** and he will get his in the end!

    Please let us know if you re-open collarme or start up a new site!

    I’m sure I am not the only one going thru withdrawal! lol

    Praying for you!

  17. I can understand your situation. What they have pulled with you is utter crap. However this has left many people without a way to contact those they have been friends with on CM for a long time. I, for one, had just entered into discussions with a submissive that I was just starting to get pretty serious with. Now perhaps I will never know…. A little warning would have been nice so everyone could have made other contact arrangements with people we would have wanted to stay in contact with.

    Well, for those of you that might actually come to this page, read the replies and have been in contact with Me… you can find Me on Fetlife as Mistress_Vanatru.

  18. As this site was shut down you are opening yourself up to Litigation from all of your venders for breach of contract. Being a federal law enforcement agent as well as a lot of my friends on this site I strongly suggest that the website be put back up unless the two of you plan on declaring bankruptcy. I hope you have the company licensed under a LLC or it is going to cost the both of you much more in the long run to leave this site down.

    1. I haven’t been a member quite as long as some. Hell it’s only been a week or two, But I feel like this is crap what is being done to you. On that note to the person who said she will be liable for litigation from her third party contacts or whatever you call them, no she will not because as the OWNER of the domain she is entitled to take down the site for the existing breech of contract by her partner. He is the one who will be held liable to those third party partners.

    2. Being a Member of Law Engorcement does not give you the exclusive right to threaten others, especially ; since you have not read the Contract originally indicated by Tiffany. Since she was terminated, she no longer can be held Liable for any losses which may be encurred for the current Owner. I will be happy to assist Tiffany in mitigation matters of our Justice System.
      Tiffany, I do so hope you get the relief you need in helping to pay the expenses which seem to pile up, as well as the help needed for your daughter. As I have perused many of the postings, decidedly; you have quite a few heart-felt people that are willing to lend a hand to your current situation(s).
      If I can lend a hand in any manner, please do not hesitate to drop me a Memo.
      Sincerely,
      ER Harris

    3. What a ridiculous comment! Tiffany, do not be concerned by this idiotic statement. Whether this person is any type of law enforcement officer or not is irrelevant. One thing is certain, the person has no knowledge of contract law and should stick to following orders and enforcing the multitude of ridiculous federal “REGULATIONS” for which they are paid and stop giving advice for which they are obviously not educated or trained to give, which could be construed as practicing law without a license in some states. Only the individual or entity which entered into the agreement would be liable for advertising obligations.

      That aside, accept my best wishes to you and your family, as well as my full support of your actions. At some point, you must look out for yourself and your family and all concerned should understand this. As a member for over 5 years, I would like to see the site return, but as a businessman and site owner, I fully understand what is involved.

      You did a great job on CollarMe.com and you should be proud of that. Take care of that little girl and know that their are many people out here who will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

      If there is anything I can do, feel free to contact me.

  19. Aww well I was on there for 5years and absolutely loved it. You gave people like me who don’t have any family or friends a place to meet like minded people and feel comfortable so thanks for that :)

    Hope your daughter gets over her condition (if that’s possible?)

    Lilfootgirl
    Laura

  20. I do hope a way is found to restore the site, even if it is under a new name, and hope that you have a list of members who can be notified if you do start a new one. I have many friends on the site and will feel the loss greatly.
    As for your personal situation, i wish you and your daughter the very best.

  21. I too have made many good and some bad connections , such is life. I do wish we would have had some type of warning though. For anyone that I was talking to you can reach me on fetlife I am MistressJadeBBW and hope to hear from any of you

  22. Sorry about your and your daughter’s troubles. Another good reason to be Canadian!
    But alas, I was also in discussion with a very promising sub when this happened: as Mistress DDarkly wrote:
    “However, this has left many people without a way to contact those they have been friends with on CM for a long time. I, for one, had just entered into discussions with a submissive that I was just starting to get pretty serious with. Now perhaps I will never know…. A little warning would have been nice so everyone could have made other contact arrangements with people we would have wanted to stay in contact.”

    So for all of us, I hope this can be fairly and quickly resolved. Bonne chance `a tous!
    And if my prospective good man follows this trail of breadcrumbs: I tried to contact you on a hockey night, and in the meantime, I’m on Fetlife under the same name.

  23. I am surprised that there are so many people who have lost contacts due to this site shutting down. I’m even more surprised I’m among one of them, even if I only had one contact (one very special & important). We’re all ‘freaking out’ (big word) (or maybe that’s just me), but maybe the issue will get solved. Maybe next week we’ll all look back on this and wonder what we were so worried about. And maybe that won’t happen, which in that case will suck for the ones who lost their contacts.
    As far as that matter goes, I cannot possibly blame Tiffany for the decision that she’s made and I’m happy to see that so many of the users are leaving messages with support. I’m not going to try and feel what Tiffany is going through, because I don’t think I could possibly cope with it, but I do wish her/you (not sure how to address this message) the very best. Do not lose hope and faith. Keep on fighting like you have and know that- look at all these messages- you’re not alone.

  24. Sucks that you weren’t able to work it out. I haven’t been here for five years but noted the site. Made some good connections. Some notice would’ve been nice.

    1. Fay you are an idiot the lady is having problems with her child and all you can say is if you cant handle the job she should not have done it .learn the word respect and passion .

  25. I am saddened to see this happen, but I completely understand why you had to shut down the site. I hope that you have good luck in getting it back up and running, and get it back to its old glory. I have been on the site for nearly a decade, and will miss it. Do what you need to do….we will all be ok….Take care of your daughter…she is first and foremost right now.

  26. Best of luck with your baby girl. My nephew has Down syndrome. I love the little guy to death, and he is just a awesome kid, but the financials are quite difficult and my whole family helps out where we can. I hope the best for you and your.

    Your partner seems like a really good guy…. Yes I’m being sarcastic. Greed changes people. As owner of the domain do with it as you wish. CM is good times, though there are a lot of fake ppl on the site.

    If your looking for an investor, I’m interested and can provide proof of funds. That and you’d never have to deal with me as I am the most silent of partners. I’m sure the site does OK with its adverts and other sources of revenue. Email me if interested. Maybe we can work something out, and it would provide you with some help, and give me another source of income. Overlandbbt@gmail.com is my email.

    Chris

  27. Stick to Your guns, What He is doing is TOTALLY wrong and I applaud You for what You are doing, I as well have been on CM for 5+ years and I love being there and wish to come back if and when it does… Keep Me informed (I will keep Your lil one in My prayers and light a candle for her)

  28. Hello Tiffany,

    We deal with partner and other litigation matters, and some of our partners have gone through similar types of situations. I would find an independent arbitrator that you are both comfortable with and see if you can’t work out any disagreements.

    Just because you got a letter from a fancy attorney, doesn’t mean that you need to cave in to their demands… In situations like these, they are usually complex situation(s) where neither party is 100% right. And often times, without a mediator to handle things, it’s like a Dom with a paddle in his hands and you on your knee’s just taking it like the submissive in the relationship and he not giving a damn about you or your feelings.

    Congrats on the new born baby and keep your head up; things like this usually all work itself out over time :)

  29. Still available on my phone!

    Hopefully i can reach connections that way at least to arrange alternative means of communication…

    k

  30. I just got a message from a user on collarme.com and unfortunately I cant get to it at this time do to the fact this site is down on my phone and laptop. I hope this is settle soon and tiffany gets paid so the site can be up. Please do the right and keep your promise to tiffany.

  31. I see a split, but the lady gets her own site and unexpected financial gifts/help. She’s happy because she’s finally getting to vent publicly.

    Nice.

  32. I’ve been on your site for a long time but like to say Thank You for your time and efford in allowing us to use your site to find some new friends. I am in hope’s your daughter will get better…
    Thank You

  33. Would personaly put my foot up your partners behind since I would not have to pick my foot up high for this snake . Not only is he in breach of contract he is in breach of the family leave act . You are well within your rights to do what you did . I
    Ive been on this site 11 years now and Ive noticed the change from good to bad then the improvement . If you make your own site plese let me know so that I may join . I have a low tolerace for lowlifes and his BS has most likely cost me my contact with a lady that had entered into conversation with in hopes she would join my home

  34. I’m just perplexed. I have asked friends who use Collarme their thoughts about this situation and they don’t know what I’m talking about. With a typical wifi connection on a laptop they are still able to access the site and send and receive e-mails as usual.

  35. Mothering your sick child is your number one priority and this issue comes a long way down your own personal schedule.
    Much as I like Collarme, I can go without in the knowlege that a poor mights life is being made a little better by her Mum.
    Right is on your side her.

  36. Although I haven’t been “actively” using the site lately, I have continued to use it for uhhhh “research” :-) It gave me an education, half a social life, a laugh or two, and a reality check(among other things) So thanks for that, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that we’ll be back up, eventually.
    Best of luck to you and your daughter, Tiffany.
    Once I too spent a number of years helping to build a much-more-mainstream internet community, but if you’re looking for helpers “call me!” ;-)

  37. Stay strong in your position; it’s sad that it has to come down to this terms but i understand your position and rather have to wait for a new CM than continue using the website run by an irresponsible person.

    Wish the best during your difficult time

  38. This site was how I first discovered who I really am. I would personally love to thank you for making my life purrfect.

    I’ve been a huge fan of CollarMe.com for years. I’m very sad that this site is down, BUT I 100% agree with your decision. Your partner is a dick for doing that to you. I am praying for you & your daughter’s happiness. Let me know if you ever need someone to talk to, I also live in NYC.

  39. Well I for one feel a great deal of sincere sympathy. I never Imagine it was that bad. I’m sorry to hear about your daughter.
    I will pray for her strength and send you some hope. IF you later do decide to open another site similar to this one. I hope you bring your hard work and heart you put into this one… It really showed. I cant mentioned how many strong connections I made here…all thanks to you and your hard work. You should send a letter to the press for a fund raiser to help you succeed in getting all medical help your daughter needs and legal aid to strike down this thorn on your back digging its way to your soul. How can people be so selfish cruel and oblivious. Run a bondage charity ball. An all adult Charity ball with all companies you advertised for putting on a show like no other… Like comic con or dragon con… There is alote of money to be made in seeking out the different seeking acceptance and respect. A festival Of bondage . Reach out to your companies you deal with and your local radio shows… Connect the people once more… You have a gift for that… Bring the people who love your work in. Sell merchandise of every lifestyle and have everyone there sign your petition.

    I wish I could help. I really do. MY heart goes out to you and your family. Stay strong and keep true. I will miss this website and its people. It would be a shame to walk away now. But do what you got to do for your daughter first. Then get a fantasia bdsm fetish festival fiesta! Raise some money for this poor women. I wish you all the luck in the world. hope its not the last I hear from you.

  40. Sorry to hear this. Was a great place for all its flaws. I have met some amazing people here, above all, the love of my life!

    Thanks so much and I hope things get sorted soon.

  41. I am in complete sympathy with you. Collarme.com (CM) has meant so much to the BDSM lifestyle and those of us in it. CM has been instrumental in thousands of participants connecting and communicating with their counterparts over these many years. It is almost unthinkable that we could all have to move forward without CM being the free media of choice. Literally thousands of us owe so much to you and your creation. I only hope that you can overcome the adversity you have described in your letter and restore CM to its former position as the world’s standard for BDSM on-line meetings and communications.

    I pray that your daughter and you will somehow come through her terrible medical problem and that she will one day live a life of quality, dignity and good health. Please keep us all updated on your progress.

    Lastly, I want to thank you again for all you have done for BDSM and its alternative lifestyle participants via your development and operation of CM.

    Sincerely,
    MasterDWC

  42. You are worse.than him
    Because you want to prove that you can fuck with him millions of users have to suffer

    Only because you are very unprofessional
    And I realy agree with him
    Imagine if he would given you access to the servers what would you do

    HE WAS RIGHT
    SOMEONE WHO DOES THIS KIND OF THING TO A BUSINESS CANNT BE TRUSTED
    AND YOU PROVED IT.
    YOU PROVED HE WAS RIGHT IN HIS ACTIONS AND DECISIONS .

    IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEM WITH YOUR PARTNER GO TO COURT
    BUT DONT ACT INSANE
    AND MAKE MILLIONS SUFFER

    The only reason people are sympathysing with you is because they only heard your part of the story which you make yourself a victim
    Whatever your reasons are
    YOU ARE DESTROYING A BUISNESS
    SO YOU CANNT BE A VICTIM.

    1. Please refrain from posting until you grow a few -working- braincells, and do learn what the CAPs are for. I don’t know what country you are from, probably in Lagos, given your ignorance. Oh yes, learning to spell would be a big help too. Now, go stfu before daddy gets the belt out. BTW, mind your own ‘buisness’ , whatever that word you made up means.

  43. |Come on people, don’t believe everything you read, Please remember there are 2 sides to every story. before anyone makes any judgements we should really hear the other side. shame to see it go though. ;(

    1. Seconded.

      Hey people I just got fired for getting hurt at work and now my son needs a kidney transplant, but I can’t afford to have him flown halfway across the country. No, I’m not a sociopath (they don’t occur in BDSM, right?) so I’m just going to shut down my employer by changing his locks instead of going through a legal route…. heh.

    2. I made a few girly profiles on CM & cried the poor tale for various reasons. It’s amazing how many stupid people, especially men, believe anything that a girl says, just because she’s a girl.

  44. Sad that it has come to this state of affairs, but I can understand the reasons behind your actions, and my fingers are crossed for your daughters health.

    But alas, he has the code and you the domain, all he needs is a new domain address to point at his existing servers and collarme Mk 2 will be up and running.

    I realize that times are tough at the moment and your personal life clearly has the greatest priority, but if the community spirit and principles that you co-founded collarme on are to survive you will need to get a new site up and running as fast as possible to compete.

    Though the thought of establishing anew site must sound very daunting at this time, it does seem that you have the vital ingredient to make it work – you know how to keep advertisers happy. There will only be a short window to capitalize on that USP.

    Good luck, and if there are roles that you may need assistance with, then ask on this site, as you never know we may be able to help, even if only modestly or for a short time.

    So my fingers are crossed for a new and improved collareme soon and my best wishes to you and your family.

  45. Ohhhh, this is the worst story EVER! I am so sorry that you went through all of this and will go where ever you go and will start a petition to get all of my friends to follow! I hate bullies!!

    Anyway (sigh) – if any of the Dominants I was talking to want to reach SubbieCassie, then I guess we’ll finish our conversation on FL under BabyGirlCassie.

    Please keep us posted, Tiffany – I’m behind you.

  46. Sad to see the site down…even sadder to see the self serving complaints from small minded folks….”you could have warned us”, “you are wrong for shutting it down”, blah blah blah.

    IF you are/were truly “in the process of” creating new relations from the site, you should have already made other connections on personal email accounts…just My opinion, but THIS is why you don’t rely on a site for continued indepth communication….consider this a lesson learned, people!

    And STOP right now blaming Tiffany….sometimes a person is pushed to the point of having to prove they mean what they say, especially when promises/words are not kept. Tiffany has a lot on her plate, and it would appear a very cowardly and self serving “friend/partner” who needs a dose of reality.

    You minions who are complaining need to remember CM has always been FREE…..no guarantees, no fees…and only ad based revenues. I have been on there many years, and witnessed the site’s ebb and flow in quality. But again, being that it was FREE, no complaints here ;)

    Chin up, Tiffany, concentrate on what truly matters right now (you and your daughter’s well being). This will sort itself out one way or the other…. I can attest it truly is a shock when a supposed “friend” turns out to be quite the opposite.

    Best wishes,
    masterblaqheart
    (same name on yahoo for those in My circle)

    1. Very well said Masterblaqheart. I concur fully as an attorney of many years. I have seen many cases such as this one, where one partner attempts to totally steal everything from the other. And if I had been pushed as far as Tiffany, I’d have pulled the plug too and probably a lot sooner. Domain ownership is the one piece of leverage she has–and dickhead left her no choices but to use it. And NO ONE has a right to whine unless they were paying for the right to use the site. But no one did, so I say, STFU. You sniveling freeloaders are asking a woman to put your personal convenience and pleasure above the welfare of her own daughter–who needs every resource mom can bring to bear. She has no apologies to make to anyone.
      I just wish Tiffany had consulted a good attorney when she first contemplated a real partnership. Likely none of this would have happened. Written partnership agreements keep friends ‘friendly.’ They really do. Oral contracts are not worth the paper they are written on!

  47. So sad to read all of this , special when I read that two grownups are not able to run a business ! On the other hand it’s a blessing to start all over again with CM since lately over 70% of the profiles where from fakers and scammers. Wishing you all the best Tiffany , and hoping your baby will be healthy lady in the years to come. I’m sure you can see that I was a member for a very long time……..Mr.Leather

  48. Tiny violins are playing to your your sob story,, there is no room for tears in business and i wont shed any for you.
    collar me was a mediocre site at best.full of Nigerian scammers
    and other related fakes , i gues to did no turn out to be the next Facebook for you money hungry Zuckerberg wannabees , so you ditched it . Oh well folks nothing lasts too long on the cyber-world (like you money and privacy). I sure some other waste of time thing will crop up.

    1. I started my journey on Collarme before I joined Fetlife. On Collarme I was taught a few harsh lessons about feeling like I was to accept being a kinky booty call. Only one Dom I came to form a good D/s relationship from Collarme taught me otherwise. There are though a handful of decent Doms looking for a D/s relationship. I learned that from talking to a friend of mine who was making friends with potentially good Doms. Like I explained to her, you have to weed out the fakers and creepy stalkers on any site you’re on. They will eventually show their asses and you can just focus on cultivating relationships with friends you find worthwhile talking to and dont be too naive to take wooden nickels from strangers aka dont be scammed into sending money to scammers and dont let yourself be treated like booty call if you’re looking for a good D/s relationship. I wish I could have done things differently in the beginning because I do see the value of collarme and I hope this issue gets rectified soon.

      1. And I am SirsSexyFuckdoll on Fetlife and though I have a Dom you can send me emails and if you want to be friends please send my Dom an email to ask permission. We are still hoping to find a couple in the Conroe Tx area who wants to join us in some fun hot sessions! !

  49. Tiffany

    Firstly, thank you for informing us of the most unfortunate circumstances that have built up on your plate.

    You have, I doubt not, the support of all the genuine participants in your website! Your strength, fortitude, authenticity and rationale are so obvious from this communication, punctuated by a , “decade” user , understanding of the site.

    I sincerely hope your troubles become lessened and your child the best improvements possible.

    I also sense that if you had full control of this site, or one similar, it would be successful and of the quality collarme.com once was!

    I urge all who take the time to read, do, de minimus, leave their email address so you have the basis for a new membership ! This information will be key for Tiffany, if she wants to move something forward …

    I hazard to suggest it will be total quality … life moves in mysterious ways!

    Good luck and a lot more !

    El Pedro IV of Toro Negro

    1. Yet another genius in the legal department … best keep your thoughts to yourself, buckyboy lest you give the game away, huh ?

      El Ped

  50. Wishing you the best Tiffany. As for the rest of you ‘adults’ stop with the negativity. If you don’t have anything nice or positive to say then don’t say it at all. Yes it sucks the site is down, but sometimes shit happens! I know we will be back when/if it collarme comes back up. Any other sites similar to collarme, then we can go to for now at least?

    Hoping for the best for you Tiffany! Stay positive and everything will work out the way it’s meant to.

    Julie and Ken.

  51. Good luck to you Tiffany!

    If you start another site or restart CM, please let us know and W/we will sign up there.

    MP and slavegabrielle

  52. Are you kidding me sell the domain name. Collar me is full of fakes and scumbags just like the real world and society .

  53. Sorry to hear that!
    Hope that will back on soon, how can I get contact with who I contacted in Cm again?

    I am looking for the one “successful ” from Hong Kong! Hope I can find you again
    My email- hksluthk@hotmail.com

  54. Tiffany, I am so sorry to hear about your little princess. For anyone with kids, this touches them and makes them feel. For someone to take advantage of this, is just wrong and I could not see doing business with someone like that. iTaboo has advertised with collarme in the past and I would love to see if there is something we can do together. Please reach out to me at 720 370 1000 and lets have a chat.

  55. Thanks for informing us all as best you could Tiffany. You have been down a difficult road. You know, your former partner is not going to wise up and suddenly be a reasonable person to be in business with. He will always be an asshole. This is too much damage over too long a time to recover a working relationship. I don’t think you had any choice but to take the action you have taken. Be rid of this guy — start over. Whatever way you can, get him out of your life. Maybe sell him the domain and start a new site? What ever happens, best wishes and good energy for you and your family.
    AceTOP aka Derek

  56. well I for one knows that there is always two sides to every dispute. There should have been an agreement in writing as you never trust your own family let alone a friend when it comes to business. This should have been litigated and not done this way as this is hostage taking. This is disrespectful and I am truly sorry for your circumstances but that is life. There should have been some notice to allow us to get information that we have stored in our profiles and emails. However you own it and hopefully it goes bust and everyone gets nothing.

  57. glad for the post. please take head and utilize some of the good people here to help you succeed. wish you luck in transitioning. send an email when you are ready to push on and take care of your
    OWN business…

  58. Dear Collarme family,

    I am so sorry and sad to hear of such conflict. I pray for a peaceful resolution soon for all. Best wishes to the baby and to all who may have been lost. If I can help to make a positive difference please let me know. I have grown so much personally being part of Collar me for over 10 years. Thank you.

    Sincerely and with love,
    Morrison
    feelingifted@Yahoo.com and on FL

    1. It always amazes me …

      a) what amazes a legal genius

      b) a legal genius’ obvious grammar skills at drafting

      c) how many dads are dumb … butt can type

      d) enufalready

  59. I BELIEVE THE WAY THAT YOU HAVE BEEN TREATED BASED ON WHAT I HAVE READ IS DEPLORABLE.
    I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY THE SITE IS DOWN, YET FEEL THAT NOT GIVING SOME NOTICE BY EMAIL FOR EXAMPLE ONLY PASSES THE POOR TREATMENT ON TO OTHERS.
    IT TO ME SEEMS TO SAY BECAUSE I CANT HAVE YOU CAN EITHER. I AM SURE THAT IS NOT YOUR INTENT, AND WE ARE SIMPLY PART F BARGAINING, A LEVER TO OPEN THE POSSIBILITY OF BETTER TREATMENT.
    I SUPPORT YOU AND YOUR DESIRE, TO RECEIVE WHAT IS FAIR AND JUST. HOWEVER I AM NOT THRILLED IN HOW IT IS BEING BROUGHT ABOUT.

    1. Genius … You must be the managing partner at iamalegalgenius.com … No transgender implications, intended.

      El Pedro

  60. Hi Tiffany, So sorry to hear about your trials and tribulations. I’ve met some interesting people on CM and hope that you can sort things out. Some of the comments I’ve read are off the wall even if it is true that CM has become just as much spam and scams as it is real people. The comments against you are just unfounded. I hope you can get the site back on track and that you can rid yourself of your partner.
    Take care.

  61. Look here. I don’t know Tiffany or Him Personally, but i know people that know them. Yes there are two sides to every story. I feel bad for Tiffany but until both partys talk then i feel bad for Him as well being we don’t know his side and right now as a Co-Founder of this site hes also losing money. Yes CM has helped me find my Owners off and on for the past 8 years i believe. once i found them i found FL yes i have 2 CM profiles and one FL… i believe that CM is great but FL is great for finding groups, Meets, and Friends………. LOOK YOU ALL NEED TO STOP BLAMING UNTIL YOU HEAR BOTH SIDES AND STOP MAKING THIS A ONE-SIDED STORY….. DO WHAT YOU WILL BUT TIFFANY AND HIM BOTH HAVE MY SUPPORT AND EVEN AFTER WE FIND OUT WHATS ALL GOING ON THEN YOU BOTH WILL HAVE MY SUPPORT……people that are saying Tiffany is wrong for this and He is wrong for that STOP…….Do you know both sides? NO YOU DONT….

  62. Hey Tiff keep your head up, may god bless your family. I know I would like to make a donation to your cause and so would many others from the CM fam…

  63. I am sad to see the site down. I won’t comment on the why, good or bad. If those who were chatting with me, olderlover60 or my sub robella, you can contact us at my email and I will pass on messages to bella. olderlover60@yahoo.com. Or I am Naturelover on FetLife and she is robella69 on FetLife.

    Peace be to you all.
    Ms. Cindy

  64. Really too bad on all accounts here. I understand the health issues, most of us have dealt with it or dealing. I feel bad for the honest people looking for friendship and love; would have been nice to get a email stating the site will be shut down. All the hard work to find a true person or 2 on there is gone now…too bad for all involved. Hope this gets fixed quickly. I would pay $5 to $10 a month for collarme, not anymore then that. Good luck to all and everyone

  65. Again, I am sorry for your distress, but would like to take down my photos, my profile, and retrieve my journal entries. You should have given us some time to do this. You are holding users for ransom.

    Thank you
    Idrathernotsay

  66. My heart go to you and your family first off, I hope that your daughter’s surgeries went well and she continues to improve.

    You have to do what you feel is right, I know it hurts to be betrayed by someone you trusted and considered at friend.

    To the subs I had been developing plans with please contact me on Fetlife under the same profile name.

  67. I have to agree they way the situation was handled leaves a bad taste in peoples mouth. Do understand why you have done it, but you have to treat this like a business. Think of your users first, they are the ones suffering. Contact me if you like to see if we can not get this website and business up and running properly. This time it will be done right.

  68. Thank you for providing a valuable service to the kinksters of the world. Yours is a role that is oft unappreciated.

    (eats popcorn)

  69. Tiffany, I don’t want to parrot all of the comments which have been left, so I’ll just say I agree 100% with virtually all of them.

    On what I hope is “somewhat” on the productive side, I’ll say that I’ve had serious problems with “partners” in the past, as well, and swore off many years ago on EVER having one again – too much risk! You may want to consider such an oath!

    Now, for the more productive side (assuming you ever scan down this list of comments this far), I’ll proffer the following notes and thoughts for your consideration:

    You have had many offers of help, and I assume some of the contributors truly have the skills they infer, and, will perform some of the tasks they’ve offered, gratis, or at a nominal sum (or they could bankrupt you!)

    I suggest you privately contact the most promising looking of the offers (and ones making suggestions) to discuss their suggestions and to develop a valid “game plan” yourself!

    I would not accept any who want to charge you for their services, AND would suggest that ALL of their work, suggestions, and offerings be carefully reviewed to determine their appropriateness. You should have a GOOD lawyer draw up an agreement giving you their suggestions, etc. on a GRATIS basis, or you’ll never get yourself out of legal battles and/or debt.

    Obviously, the work of developing a complete, new site would take months of work. Therefor, I suggest that, to the extent your lawyer (hopefully VERY copyright experienced) allows a VERY DIRECT patterning after the old site, as it was a couple of weeks ago, possibly even naming it “Collar-Me”, or something similar, to capture as many searches as possible & get it’s momentum up to top speed as soon as possible for your benefit, and that of your loyal subscribers.

    If you’d like to discuss any of this (or anything else related to the recent occurrences), feel free to write me at adak@pacifier.com. I’ll be happy to respond in kind, or, for better and more productive communication, by phone, if you provide a phone number.

    Adak – a very long time subscriber

  70. I read this entire thing. That is a really terrible thing and I wish you and your daughter well. Contact me through my email when time allows I can help you get this website back where should be. I am not looking for anything other than it really pisses me off when someone is wronged like that and especially what you have been through.

  71. I have nothing but good wishes for you and your child. I pray that you are able to bring her to good health. It 1991 I had a daughter that was born hydrosephalic so I understand where you are coming from in the problems you are having with medical expenses. I thank God each and every day that my daughter is now a healthy 23 year old with her own life to lead. I can only pray that you find the same fate with your daughter.

  72. Wtf is wrong with you people???? Bitching at tiffany for not getting paid? Bitching because she had to take down a site that was dysfunctional? Bitching because she couldn’t access the software to correct issues? Bitching because your data, which YOU should have backed up yourself can’t be accessed? Well, one word to you bitchers.. WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Go start your own site. You got exactly what you paid for. The Lagos Nigeria scamming fuckwads and guys pretending to be girls will have to find another venue. Tiffany, start your own business, wash your hands clean of him, and drain him dry. And I am saying this as a guy. One note: Always get things in writing in business. Verbal contracts aren’t worth the paper on which they are written. Use tiffany’s experience as a learning lesson.

  73. Tiffany,

    I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter. I sincerely hope she is doing well. I’ve been on CM for over a year now and have meet several great people. It provided a great service but it did need some work.

    I’m a developer/entrepreneur who builds and run sites. I have more than the needed technical background for a site like CM. If you have an interest in finding a new partner and building CM from scratch, I’d love to chat with you about that possibility. You can reach me at miguelfe@msn.com.

  74. Isn’t there parts of the site people paid for? isn’t it actually illegal to do what she has done and will lead to lawsuits by multiple party’s including class action from users. Anyone able to confirm the story also why post it to public, to get people to side with her instead of upset at what occurred. I don’t think she has thought this through but acted with emotions and the trouble this is going to bring them if people sue. This isn’t as simple as I am upset I am taking down the domain because their is many things to consider, the tactic to take down the domain to blackmail the other party into giving you what you want instead of doing it the legal way will result in more problems. She has to put this back up immediately and pursue legal roads before people do end up suing both company’s involved in it revenue and people who have paid for it service, hope people know if their is even advertising revenue you do hold some rights to your intellectual property as well.

    1. Dear This is not wise ,

      This is not wise …

      Your command of the facts, appears not to be, either!

      El Pedro

  75. Dear Tiffany & International Collarme Friends,
    Since 2008, i have so many fond memories of VIDEOCHAT… so much fun that it blows my mind! I REALLY MISS everyone& its only been a few hours! Where else can you go and see 7 friends on cam simultaneously? ! We are all INTERNATIONAL—how amazing is THAT; i love all my international friends & miss you!
    i always wanted to support Collarme but they never asked me for money & im a lazy ass~ everyone knows it. How many sites can say that they DO NOT ask constantly for money? Collarme can say it quite easily; they have never done it. The only other good legit BDSM site only ever asks people for a $5 donation so why dont we all support this one too?
    What will Collarme give us back?- this is one of the best hassle-free memberships i have on any site. ive never been locked out of my account for a complicated fucking password i cant remember.
    What if we draw up a list of ideas and ask Tiffany if she can implement some other stuff on your minds? I’d like to get back to mentally torturing Dominants as soon as possible. And can we have another cam or two in videochat please?

    And if anyone has anything neg to say about Collarme, its your free right to do so. But im going to fight for this site, and the sooner we do it, the sooner i’ll take my top off in videotchat room opens up again. Everyone knows I don’t usually…

    ~love bratty

    …aka “brattybratbrat”
    (Los Angeles, California, USA & Brisbane, Queensland, Australia)

  76. Tiffany, Very sad, and our heart goes out to you. Although the circumstances are very different, I’ve also had business “partners” who have left me holding the bag (and tons of debit). Your reputation, however remains intact (if not your choice of partners!) If/when you are ready to rebuild I would love to help in any way I can (high-tech project management, engineering, cheerleading, whatever). I truly hope you come through this challenge intact, healthy and successful–with our without a rebirth of CollerMe.com (preferably with!).

  77. I feel your pain and sympathize with you whole heartedly. But right at this moment I’m a little put out. I worked hard on my profile, not to mention my journal. Even one days notice would have been enough to at least copy and save all my information.
    We all face hardships in life. I have buried more then my share of loved ones. It’s what we do during these crises in life that defines us. Years from now many of us won’t remember your name, or exactly what happened, but we will remember how you made us feel. Do the right thing.

  78. I have been on the site for many years and enjoyed it as simple entertainment. Do what you must, we’ll all be around somewhere.

  79. I have been on this site from the beginning and I am heartbroken to see it no longer exists, I have met the most incredible people here, real people and also watched it slowly go down hill, I met someone here 8 years ago and had the most incredible relationship until his own illness took him from me. I came here to read his letters to me and it gave me peace and now even those are gone from me. Healing prayers for your daughter and the very best to you. I also thank you for this site.. it brought me great love.

  80. Tiffany,
    I was active for the past four out of five years on Collarme.com.
    I believe what you are doing is right and that there is no need for Collarme.com to be brought back when you can start all over fresh, new and kicked up a notch.
    In the beginning when I was on Collarme.com I never had any issues with trolls, and fakes, but towards the end of this past year and beginning of this one they were all over the place.
    I wish you and your family the best and hope that you will be able to recover from this…
    Maybe even with a brand new website for those of us that are not part of all the clicks that are on all the other websites…

  81. Once you’ve ponied up for Tiffany I have a Ponzi scheme you might find interesting. Whatever is really going on behind the scenes at collarme, this is the tip of the iceberg and quite likely based on nothing more than a shred of truth. If any truth at all.

  82. I am sorry to hear of your troubles. I have been here for quite sometime and would love to see what site if any comes of this.

    I was on the site yesterday.

    I to have met some good and some lesser folks here. I will miss collarme. If anything develops towards a reopening or new site I would like to know about it.

    Here’s to collarme being reborn.

    skintoday

  83. This is really sad. I’ve met some fantastic people on this site. I hope all issues can be resolved sooner than later.

    Xoxo Mistress Vita

  84. First, let me say that I feel horrible that your daughter is suffering from what she is. I hope that the her medical issues are resolved, and that she can live a long and beautiful life.

    Regardless of your financial and the horrible situation you find yourself in with your daughter. I have a few things of my own to say.

    First, if your former partner was running things as “his own personal kingdom” what you have done in effect is taken his castle. I’m not really sure this is the best way to go about resolving your current issue. Let me explain why.

    The very site, that you would be compensated from is now no longer generating revenue. This seems to me to be a conflict of interest, turn the pipe off to the very site that is intended to help you?

    If you cannot pay for a lawyer, to litigate, then you may be able to find one that would be willing to work, and compensated, by suing your former partner. Meaning you would be out of pocket for nothing, instead your partner would pay the legal fees. This seems the right way to go about this. Since your case, as you have expressed, is so strong I am fairly certain, specially in NY, that you will have no problem finding a lawyer of the caliber required to affect a positive change.

    What I do not think is right, is to take down a fully functional, operating site to apply pressure to someone so that they do what you want them to do. Let me explain why.

    If someone holds a gun to your head, which metaphorically speaking is exactly what you are doing to your ex-partner, and told you to do something and you did not, what they are you left with as leverage?

    You could pull the trigger and kill them, which is kind of what you are doing here.

    You could back off, and loose your leverage all together.

    But in either situation you have effectively ruined any chance of pressuring that person to do as you are attempting them to MAKE them do. You cannot force people to do what you want, regardless of what collarme means, D/s or what have you. People willingly do as you want only because it is also what they want. You need to create a situation where your ex-partner wants the same thing you do, a resolution. Sometimes the only way to come about this is to get a lawyer and do it correctly.

    collarme is your baby, and you are effectively killing it. This drama being played out in the public eye will do nothing but hurt and harm collarme in the end. Your comment that you want to start your own site leads me to believe your actual intent is to punish your former partner, and ruin collarme for good. In the process, you will also be harming all of us, the people for whom your advertisers pay to view your adds. You are harming every single member of the site, not just your former partner.

    People who have left comments seem to support you, that’s good, but I’m curious why I see not one comment explaining how this venture you have taken us all on, is a bad choice. I hope you are not removing comments that explore other possibilities just for the sake of your ex-partner being able to read the positive support.

    And to your ex partner. Greed will get you nowhere. It’s too bad this is now public knowledge, it makes me think of the site very differently now, and I’m honestly not sure if I am going to come back after this. I don’t want to support people of low moral character, and it seems this is the case with you. I would, if I were you, settle this very quickly. Hurting people, specially when they are in need, when you have requested that they join and help you seems, well I just cannot believe it. I would like to hear your side of the story now that this drama is being played out in public forum. I think it only fair that you should be able to respond.

    I hope this post is taken in the way I mean it, positive, and not deleted because it’s not purely supportive but rather giving advice instead of other options.

    I have been on collarme since it’s begining, I am not leaving any real name here for that reason. I know many people and prefer my comments to be expressed without being attached to me. I feel if they were, I might alter what I have said to be perceived in a different way. Regardless, they needed to be said.

    I hope that whatever forces, powers or whatever beings may be watching over your daughter, deem it right and proper to make a beautiful miracle happen for both of you. It’s the very worst type of ailment when it’s a child who is involved and has yet to accumulate any life. My thoughts are with her.

  85. Whatever site you establish(if you choose to do so) I will follow you there Tiffany! I loved CollarMe, I’ve made a ton of wonderful friends an even found my permant home on there!
    I’m extremely sorry to hear how things ended up an I’m sure you’re new site will be much much much better with out your ex partner!

  86. So sad to see collarme go. I always felt comfortable on this site as opposed to the other so called BDSM sites. Collarme was where I first got started in this lifestyle. Yes, there are many assholes and fakes, but assholes and fakes are everywhere. Going to miss the site!

  87. I am very sorry to hear about your misfortune. The site will be missed. Yes there were a lot of idiots on the site but then again there were some genuine nice and dedicated people to their art and lifestyle as it were. Thank you for the years of fun and pleasure I have met and talked with some interesting folks. I wish you well in whatever you do and that through the Grace of God and his infinite wisdom your daughter will be have a full and productive life and you become successful in what ever you do.

    Sir Largo

  88. Where can we expect to FIND YOU, ID YOUR SITE,… after the non-compete resolution,… and you picking up ‘the domain’? If able to ‘broadcast members’?

  89. My heart goes out to you and I send positive energy to you in the health of your child. She is a gift.
    As for anyone, specifically named pat that I was in initial stage with …please contact me at j4truthj@aol.com

  90. Would you be willing to sell Collarme.com to get the site back up? I have a solid structure of web servers that can host the website as well as a holdings company to encompass it under.

  91. Tiffany, i support you 100% and wish you and your family health and resolution to these petty work issues.

  92. Who cares. Sounds like you are trying to make financial gains , esp by throwing in the part of a sick kid. I wonder what this is really about. I bet it has something to do with money. The site sucks

  93. I am so sorry to hear of your utter bullshit with your partner and the loss of one of the leading BDSM sites. I have been on only 4 yrs and have not been extremely happy with the way it was run and can see that is was better before I found it.
    I wish you many blessings for your child and yourself! I hope the time away will help to heal you both. your daughter and your self.

    I hope you will let us know when you put up a new site.

  94. Sorry to hear about your personal travails with your family. No one should have to go through that.

    As for collarme, I hope you can resolve your business issues to your satisfaction.

    I’ve been on collarme for nearly ten years. When I started, it was a really great BDSM personals site. However over the last few years it seems it’s been taken over by a deluge of business ads masquerading as personals which has made it less of a resource, at least in my locality, the NYC area.

    I come to this website in the attempt to meet people of a like interest, not engage a professional’s services. If It wanted to do that I’d use any one of a hundred pro sites to find them.

    I’d love to see Collarme return to being a personals site and return to being useful in cultivating relationships. Just a thought.

  95. I’ve been there Tiffany. Had the same issue with a collegue on another site, though I managed to get all my content and data off him first. Still had to figure out how to get things back p and running and even then I haven’t succedded much.

    I’m not sure how much help I or anyone else can be because as you said the issue is he has the servers. That leads me to the issue of finding hosting for any rebuild of collarme.com especially since most hosts put an out and out ban on adult websites.

    That being said, I think you’re only option is the legal route. You got to take care of your own first and that is completely understandable. Get him in court, get what you are owed, get your old partner’s ass fried, and take care of your daughter. I think we could all live with CM not being reborn so long as you and your family are alright.

  96. I met the person who was my caretaker caregiver on here for my lung transplant

    the funny thing is they gave me 1-2 weeks to live befor the tx and that was nov 9, 2009 at 118am

    I have sarcoidosis it does not have me
    I will kick its ass
    I refuse to lose
    Thomas Michael kappler

  97. U have all rights for wht u do I hope ur daughter be good & god bless u all will wait u in new site u made any time .

  98. Tiffany,

    (Ignore this if you and your partner are already moving towards an amicable solution)

    There are two sides to every story. We obviously don’t have access to the other one and your side paints an unfortunate if not a tragic picture.

    Many from the Collarme community would like to help you and your partner out, whatever his side of the story be. Your expenses seem to be one part of this mess. A lasting solution will need some sort of mediation – even if one (or both) of you will no longer continue with the community.

    Now that you have involved Collarme community as leverage, they are involved as well and must get a say to protect their interests.

    I believe that if you pick community members that you and him trust for mediation – even if the mediation has to be through emails/IM – a win-win situation maybe achieved . Someone who can initiate contact with your partner directly would be ideal.

    A well-wisher,
    sirscum
    (sirscum@gmail.com)

  99. I am sorry to hear of your bad luck Tiffany , been on Collarme.com for years now , shame to see it is not up right now , hopefully it will soon , anyway if anyone wants to get hold of me I am on Fetlife as MistressDonna13 as well . Good luck …

  100. My heart goes out to you & your daughter. It truly tries a person’s character having to rely on the medical community. I’ve been there, my game plan was to question EVERYTHING. There are too many examples of American Medicine doing more harm then good.

    I hate to write this next part given the family situation your in, but it has to be said. You’ve aired your feelings regarding this business situation…feelings and business = oil and water. Not only that, your just as culpable for things going south. Even if your going into business with your Mother, you must take whatever steps necessary to insure an equitable division of labor as well as profit Trust is what the less ethical, less talented, soulless people count on to pull the wool, No different then trusting your local Ralph’s (supermarket chain) to put your health over profit. As you attempt to recover from the fallout in the future, refrain from posting your thoughts, cares, history, etc. Your showing your cards…and it will be much easier for your opponent to formulate a suitable strategy. The less he knows of your mindset, your feelings, your relationships etc , the more you increase your ability to get down and dirty in his arena, only air things that will keep them off-guard. It’s a bloody mess if your providing the information that your sharpening your sword for battle. But it’s human architecture to want others to rally in the face of injustice…”F” that, Lurk in the shadows, become as cutthroat as your opponent. No matter what you think the outcome may or may not be, if you choose to do battle, it will inevitably cost you, maybe $, maybe your moral/ethics and that maybe a higher price then what you’ve already paid. Besides, parasitic lawyers will gain, he will spend, you won’t get the outcome you deserve.

    You are obviously a very talented person, passionate, educated, and strong of character…many, many successful souls have had to rebuild, start over, or even change fields completely to overcome. You can too!!! Focus on your fam, your sanity, and don’t let this bastard steal more of your time, sanity, or anything from you again.

    Rip him a new one by doing it better, being smarter and working harder…I truly believe jackholes like him eventually have to rely on their own talent/skill which there obviously is none of, it just takes time.

    Warmly,
    Bob Loblaw

  101. I happen to agree with Tiff, BUT why does it seem it is working for some & others find this? I just talked to a friend & she still can get on?

  102. Noooooo noooooo nooooooooo … WTF … well I know you wouldn’t consider it but why don’t you tell us how much it is going to cost to crowdfund a decent server (with ads for your income) no partners necessary, you get to run it. I am pretty sure you can get it out of most of us if you go with something decent at least to fund you for the first couple of years and we get something like a verification certificate (since half the people on here were starting to be from Nigeria and other african nations looking specifically for green card weddings). This was one of the few outlets I had people and if you are from Egypt you are well and truly fucked!

  103. Tiffany,
    You need to privately contact the biggest advertiser CollarMe had with all this information. As another user mentioned your “partner” more than likely is in breach of contract with them also, but you need to make sure he is not blaming you for all of this, with the advertisers.
    You may be able to join an advertiser in suing your “partner” using their Lawyers and resources to go after him and his hidden assets.
    Not only will it give you piece of mind, heart and soul, but it will give you some monetary compensation (that you deserve) to help with your daughters care, and hopefully starting up a Collarme 2.0, or whatever. Lol!!!
    Yes a new site would be great, but it is more important that you take care of your precious little gift and then worry about a site when ever you can. I just hope you can notify us when you do.
    Good luck in all of this and really wish we could help.
    With respect,
    Sir Tim

    1. … Or what? Will you pee in your pants like a child?
      We are a lot here who would love to laugh at you doing so :)
      … Or to just teach you life. *grin*

  104. I am sorry to hear all your hard work has been compromised in this way. I had an online journal which neither me or Master can get into anymore neither of us know why……the only place i stored my journal entries and poems was on collarme. Im devestated that my 9 year journey into exploring my submission has been lost from 2 sites in one small week.

    What i am feeling has no comparison as how you must feel……..isn’t it always the way? Nilla life has a way to throw us obstacles to overcome so we can be contented in our BDSM lifestyle.

    Each challenge only makes you stronger. It may not seem that way just now but it will in the end.

    Regards,

    Tracey

  105. That stinks that it came to this but you did the right thing…I hope your daughter will get better soon…..anyone that knew me as jadedsub69 on here can find me on fetlife as jadedsub69 there as well…..

  106. Dear Tiffany, I do hope you get a chance to read this. It saddens me to hear that another person has been royally screwed by someone they once trusted so deeply. Unfortunately, I know your story all too well and my slave husband and I have been in the same situation. I’ve been on CollarMe since it’s inception and did indeed see a decline over the past years. I am the founder of ClubFEM Southeast Florida and even though I have passed the crop, so to speak, I retain ownership of the domain and always will. I have seen too many times where something like this happens and to have someone take all of your hard work and efforts and destroy them is not something I will ever allow to happen again. I applaud you for standing your ground and standing up for, what you appear to describe, as a sociopath bully. I wonder how many people on this site would donate to help you with your daughters expenses and perhaps you should start a campaign to raise funds, with donations beginning as small at $5 each. CollarMe did not bring me my soulmate, but it has brought me people with whom I am real life friends and that I treasure as my “chosen family.” All my best to you Tiffany, Divinity, ClubFEM Southeast Florida, Head Mistress Emeritus http://www.clubfemsoutheastflorida.com

  107. hello
    all the best for you and your family, its sad that CM is down, but I understand you. I am more than 10 years member of your side and have seen a lot of the changes, if it help you, I think you have done a great job

  108. I support you all the way. I too have been on CM over five years.
    I pray that your daughter gets all the help she needs to overcome her health issues.
    Just let me know when you get a new site up and running. I will be there for you.

  109. I cannot believe all you’ve been through to give your “partner” the chance to make good. My thoughts are with you in these challenging times, for you and your family.

  110. It sounds like your partner in this business was never a true partner, but only someone who was trying to extract as much value from you as they could while compensating you as little as they could, i.e. a selfish person and a user.

    I am sorry to hear of your difficulties and hope that you can get to a more secure situation and that your daughter’s health problems will be resolved soon.

  111. I can see your point of view and wish you hadn’t had to actually go to this extreme.people make us do things sometimes we truly don’t want.I wish the best for you and your daughter and hope you share the name and starting date of your website.has to be better lol

  112. “To the rest of you, I want to sincerely apologize that you are the innocent victims of his wantonly irresponsible behavior and the unfortunate results it has brought about”

    You take no responsibility for your own participation in your mess. You along with this silent person has made us the victim. You are pathetic.

  113. Hello

    This is My second attempt to post a reply here. Not sure what happened to the first one.

    I am sadden by the fact that you were screwed over. I am sorry to see the site go. I have been on this site for well over 5 years. I think closer to 10, but I could be wrong. I have meet some losers on here as well as meet some wonderful people. Sadly, I have now lost contact with a lovely woman called gisa. I was just about to give her My personal email address when the site went down. Oh well, I hope she does not vanish!

    I would look into creating another website and also going after him via the Vendors as well as yourself. If nothing else this will bring his name to light in the court public records. I think that after he gets roasted in the court room, even if he does win, there will be a back lash from the public community as well as the BDSM community . It will cost him a whole lot more than if he just paid you.

    For those who know Me on Collarme as BlkGriffin, I will be back as soon as the site is back up. I am on Fetlife under SirBlackSteele so I do hope to hear from you all.

    Good luck and I hope that you are back soon. I pray that your daughter gets well and brings you many years of happiness and smiles. If there is anything I can do, do let Me know.

  114. Hello Tiffany,
    first of all congratulations on the birth of your daughter!
    Now that you’re a family, you know your natural family comes first and always, because they are the ones who really matter, and rightly so.
    You may care about others as well of course, but your priorities should always lie with them first.
    I can only echo the sentiments of many here that even though the site is missed/will be missed, there’ll be others, so it’s not the end of the world. Hopefully you can resolve this issue; based on your sharing of the story, corporate/business law is clearly on your side, but of course I understand why you want/have to avoid costly and time consuming litigation.
    (Cases only get -happily- resolved in 50 minutes in TV shows :)
    Just make sure you document everything.
    Again, just make sure you document everything.
    (And keep backups :)
    You definitely don’t need the aggrevated stress in your life right now, seems like you’re almost dealing with more than one can handle.
    It’s particularly despicable that your partner didn’t even bother showing up to visit you and your daughter in the hospital, as it would’ve been the only decent thing to do. I’m sure if not a word would’ve been exchanged about the business dispute, you still would’ve appreciated him just showing up, being there for you.
    I’m assuming not even flowers were sent, in absentia of a visit.
    It’s sad when long running friendships get ruined/tainted with money/bad advice.
    That being sad, history is rife with stories/people who are misinformed/getting bad advice, but it’s always most sad when it happens to you/someone you know.
    I do hope you can still work it out, although, frankly, the trust will be the most difficult (if at all possible), to restore.
    So don’t worry about us, even though it’s kind of you to care, we’ll be fine, but only you can make sure that your family is fine, so you should dedicate all your attention to them, and to rebuilding your life. The ball is in his court now, and whether he decides to play (or rather continue to play) hardball, or make a pass, is out of your hands now.
    Wishing you and yours all the best, and thank you for everything, all your work over the years, and your care and concern.

  115. TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN , PLEASE BE AWARE THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE/PERSONS WHO TAKE THIS SM/BD/DS LIFESTYLE VERY SERIOUSLY ….WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE IS A DOWNRIGHT SHAME WHICH SHALL HAVE REPRECUSSIONS FOR OCCURING . WE ( AMERICANS) LOVE OUR COUNTRY ALONG WITH ALL ITS FREEDOMS. I SUPPORT ANY AND ALL DECISIONS WHICH THE PERSON WHO IS PROTECTING ALL OF COLLARME’S CONTENT WITH THE ANTICIPATION OF HAVING IT BECOME ACTIVE ONCE AGAIN …..YOU HAVE MY VOTE , SUPPORT AND SHOULD I HAVE TO THEN I WILL VOLUNTEER TO MAINTAIN , RAISE FUNDS THRU CONCERTS IE . MUSIC AND ANY OTHER LEGAL METHODS TO KEEP COLLARME AFLOAT …..PLEASE KEEP MY OFFER AND USE IT SHOULD YOU HAVE TO . I AM PROFICIENT IN COMPUTER SOFTWARE OPERATIONS . HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANK YOU ! SINCERELY, MR WILLIAM CAMP

  116. I do not know what legal contracts are in play so it is impossible to make a reasonable suggestion as to what to do. However, if you have legal rights to the Domain, it should be little problem to find another server.

  117. Few comments critical of this hostage taker are being allowed/posted to give the wrong impression that a majority here are on the same page as her. Shame.

  118. I hope the fucker gets taken to court and best wishes on your child. I hope she grows into a beautiful healthy woman.

  119. I know how things go in life.
    I’ m interested in either buying your rights to this site outright or investing in you to get the site bsck up and running. I’m sure you’re getting millions of mail and may not even get to read this, but if you do, my offer is real.get back to me. J.G.

  120. Any one wishing to attend the partied I host on Friday and Saturday nights, come to 13056 SE 122nd Place Ocklawaha Florida 32179…the phone number is (352)426-3246….also, I can be found on fetlife as ForestOubliette…and to Tiffany, I wish you luck and well being to you and your family.

  121. HI Tiffany,

    I, like many who have left a post here, have been on collarme for a long time. I have appreciated the site, and have appreciated your hard work at keeping it running, without knowing you or your story. You have my sympathy and support in your efforts for justice. I will hope that the issues will be resolved, and in lieu of that, that you have the resources and assistance to start anew with better karma.

  122. If you want to open it with out your partner i been running website for years and have couple servers we can set you up on

  123. It’s quite obvious that most everyone has their own opinions, and ideas about the current situation which has recently occured. For the record, I personally found Collarme to be a good site, as I had met some really nice people, both online and in person.
    If the circumstances which happened between Tiffany and her partner are true and for real, it goes without saying that most everyone is behind her. Too bad that we don’t also have his side of the story as well, to better make our own judgements and conclusions. There are many business partnerships which go bad, and most of them are between family and/or good friends. My position is to suppost Tiffany until I have a reason not to.

    As the saying goes, “it takes two to tango”, but there also can be circumstances which are encountered when dealing with a total asshole, who has changed over the years based solely upon greed. I feel that since her story is the only one which we have at this time, that the benefit of the doubt should be provided to her.
    The truth will no doubt eventually come forward, and those of us who took a leap of faith in supporting her, will either be very glad that we did, or we will end up with egg all over our faces. I don’t think that she was able to give any of us a “heads up” that she was shutting the site down, as that would have also given him a notice as well. The very best hand dealt is that of complete surprise.
    There are many other sites to check into, so really none of us is in a life or death situation. However, based upon the knnnnowledge at hand, Tiffany is the one with plenty on her plate at this time. Hopefully, she will keep those of us who have elected to leave a message here, in the know about any potential new website, if that avenue is taken by her.

    I hope that those people to whom I have made friends with over the years, will continue to remain in contact with me. Most of you already have either or both, my email address and phone number. For those who wish to contact me, thewizardofahs1@gmail.com

    All of the very best to everyone.

    Sincerely,
    T.W.of A

  124. Dear Tiffany,

    I’m sorry to hear about the health issues that your daughter faces and wish her all the best. I hope you both live long, happy and healthy lives

    I’m sorry that Collarme has come to this, but as the owner, you will decide the best course of action for your domain.

    I’d offer help, but I have no programming or tech expertise. If it comes to it and you can think of something I can contribute, I’m more than happy to help.

    Wishing you and yours all the best.

    Regards,
    JJ

  125. Tiffany,

    If you ever get web site back up, will i be able to get my messages sent me back from the past?

    Since i no longer have a domme due to web site gone, can you please dominate me Tiffany?

  126. Wasn’t there an alternative URL posted with the curious tag of “if the site goes down”? Anyone catch it?

    Best wishes to Tiffany in her future endeavors, and my thoughts go out to her during the fight for her child’s health, which obviously takes precedence over what sounds like a very personal situation, beyond business…she has my total empathy. I hope she’s got a lot of love, and strength in her life.

    That said, airing dirty laundry, and disrupting the service during a holiday weekend, when people are making plans, or in the middle of exchanges (which may carry more importance than any of us can imagine) strikes me as a breach of ethics. I don’t think she’s thinking clearly. Why not at least put up a warning the site would be shut down? Clearly she wanted the community to be inconvenienced. The law was and still is on her side contractually, but it sure seems like she’s now opened herself up to liable, and whatever damages (this site made money!?) as a result of this last resort stunt. In my opinion this wasn’t a great idea.

  127. wow sorry to hear that. will collarme coming back (hopefully with you as owner and getting paid for all your hard work) or do you have another site, i would like to join if so. still searching

    jen182 (cm id)
    feel free to email me a reply when you get time
    jennifer.paulin@yahoo.com (also anyone who knows of other sites plz let me know.ty)

    prayers for your lil one stay strong :)

  128. HOW CAN I HELP YOU WITH YOU DAUGTHER, FORGETH THE CM SITE, FAMILY IS MORE IMPORTANT THEN ANYTHING.
    I WISH I COULD HELP YOU IN SOME HOW.

    YOU CAN ALWAYS CREATE A ANOTHER SITE OF THIS KIND AFTER YOUR DAUGTHER IS BETTER……..

    I WISH SINCERILY THE BEST HEALTH RECOVERY TO YOUR DAUGTHER…

    TAKE CARE…

  129. While I sympathize with you, Tiffany, I lost contact with many friends, on Collarme, and hope you can help me resume contact with them very quickly.

  130. Excellent goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous
    to and you’re just too excellent. I actually like what you’ve acquired right here, certainly like what
    you’re saying and the way in which through which you are saying it.
    You make it entertaining and you still care for to stay it wise.
    I can’t wait to read much more from you. That is
    really a great website.

  131. Really sorry about you and what your family going threw. I will prey for you. If any of my contact want to get a hold of me i have yahoo. Everyone God Bless

  132. An explanation of what has happened:

    Tiffany doesn’t own or have access to the website only the domain.

    Everyone’s information is still on the server (computer) that it was on last week and she does not have access to it.

    The only thing that has changed is that when someone goes to Collarme.com it goes to this site instead of the one it used to.

    Think of it like she owns the phone number to the business CM.

    All she did was have the phone number forwarded to her cell phone.

    The brick and mortar business (server) is still there and the only thing that has changed is that the phones have been shut off.

    If or when she decides to relinquish the domain he will point it back to his server and it will be as if nothing had happened at all.

  133. I would like to say you are doing the right thing here and anyone that’s upset about it needs only think and ask themselves “what would I do if my job stopped paying me?”
    Anyway I wish you all the best and for any of those I was speaking to feel free to email me
    twintn35@yahoo.com
    ZeusinNj is out…lol

  134. As someone who has been with the site since 2006, I’m sorry to see it go… I remember the days when the site was thriving and full of true/honest submissives and slaves….unfortunately, in recent years it has taken a significant decline. If you were able to restore the site to what it was at some point in the future…I’m sure the rewards/benefits would be forthcoming. Best wishes to you and your family.

    Anyone looking to contact Me can find Me on FetLife…

    Regards,

    Mistress Adira

  135. He wants to terminate the contract, you own the important half of the domain name and seem to be the one doing all the work, I understand that you have some heartache with your child, but I would seize this opportunity to take out a loan, hire a new developer, and start a shiny new collarme, free of all the site issues, partner drama, user drama, etc and make yourself some money!
    Even if it took you a month to go live your prime user base would still return. Especially if it was to a better website.

  136. What an absolutely pitiful excuse of a man. To behave in such a manner is repugnant, disgraceful, and blemishes us all.

    Sorry for your troubles Tiffany. I hope you get to the end of the tunnel sooner than expected.

  137. I once owned a wed site with someone, but he took it as a joke. I was paying for it and I owned it but he was suppose to keep it up to date and everything. So I know how it feels to get fucked over. Anyway if you own it just rent a server and start over I’m sure people won’t mind because you will be the only person running it. There won’t be this problem again and I’m sure it would be so much better without the restrictions your partner put on you.

  138. I really really wish all kids were born healthy, and i wish every person was paid proper salaries.

    I left my job today, for lesser reasons. Although without hurting the bussiness in the slightest – although i could do things. I can understand when someone has to take a stand, burn the bridges, and so on.

    Collarme will likely show up again, in some form or other, anyway.

    However – if you hold us hostage for your part of the shares, due salary, and part of the sale price, please don`t pretend you are innocent victim. You chose to burn the city rather then leave it to the invaders. Fine. I would probably do the same. But i will not chear you as you do it.

    J

  139. Well i joined the http://www.society31.com. That’ll do till this drama is sorted. I’m sad to see the site go i met my hubby there when i was 19. I am now 27 with three children by him and still with him. I wish you the best of luck with it all. <3

    heather.

  140. Do you need a few bucks for hosting or something? I want you and your site back up I think what has happened is horrible but want you and the site and community to continue to flourish.

    Robert

  141. I so so sorry to hear of the sites demise, I have been active in BDSM since 2004 and meet my first Mistress on here. I am sorry to hear of this dispute, but in the end, what comes around, goes around and you will get your just cause in the end. Your partner sounds like a greedy dick and an ass hole.

  142. I too have been a member for a number of years and found that the site was head and shoulders above the others out in the interweb even with the stalkers, trolls, spammers etc. Perhaps standing up a new site with a modest paid access would give you the income you need [lifestylelounge.com model] as well as getting rid of the noise we seemed to be encountering over the last year or so.

    Regardless, family has to come first so get that resolved the if you put half the effort into a new endevour as you did keeping CM running it will definitely be a success.

    Kathy

  143. I have been on fetlife for a number of years, it is hard to see it go. There are so many people who would be willing to take on the site, please let the site continue even if it cannot be under your command!!

  144. You really make it seem really easy together with your presentation however I find this matter to be really something which I feel I would never understand.

    It seems too complex and extremely wide for me. I am taking a look
    forward in your subsequent publish, I will try to get
    the hang of it!

  145. Perhaps a new thread with suggested improvements to the site would be a useful excercise, Tiffany … regardless of whether they are implemented on collarme. com or collarmebetter.com.

    Let the membership make some hay ’til the sun shines. Summer is coming !

  146. Tiffany, start you own site, its not easy, you can do it in 6 months with a small team, you can use any of the open sources community exist now, and build on it
    You have millions of followers will follow,
    Fetlife and others cant be compared to collarme, i prefer collarme,

    Dont feel sorry, Make a better version of collar me, cleaner, up to date, responsive design, and you will make millions from ADs, if you managed to get the users, make it free for everyone, and anyone can pay to become a premier member with just a tag, dont put features limitations on free users, collarme business model is great, you just need a better, sexier site, more control over spammers and fakers

    Good luck and wish you the best :)

    Mo

  147. while I am certain that you are a sincere and obligated person, who has an incredible story to declare, this act of ‘if you won’t answer me, then I’ll take my website/domain and leave’ seems to be rather childish.

    Acts of mediation, acts of other concepts should have been gone through first prior to this relevant story and ending concept. Why put through the suffering of individuals within the website that you are causing because you’re not getting your way or your answers..

    Grown women, even with a child with the normal side of issues, act in more adult, more direct manners than this, and this level of ‘what’s mine is mine, and if you won’t answer me, then I’ll take it and leave’ shows us no great maturity on your part.

    Your story of your child is a great one, filled with sorrow and passion. But to involve the users and strip them of the contacts they have made because you’re not getting what you want smacks of privilege.

    Children may be the door to the future, but you must show responsible actions in order to set a pace for others.

    That being said, the deplorable decline in the server and website smacks of an uninterested party who was more interested in making a buck and living off life than to fulfill the acts and bargains made.

    As a web designer and notable loophole finder, I’d suggest looking closely at the contract you signed when you returned. While the participation you may have enjoyed in the past is true, by becoming a partner of the company, all assets may have become the property of the company, and you may be served for theft of company property, since this occured after your termination notice occurred.

  148. Desperately seeking Domina Cara from Oakland. If you are out there, please post. I wanted to continue our conversation so much.
    Here’s hoping.
    Shane.

  149. Your ex is a selfish bastard! Anyone who would turn their back on a lady in a situation like yours and with a daughter who is critically ill is a selfish, selfcentered, ignorant, mean spirited looser. My heart goes out to you and we will pray for you! All the best, Jon

  150. So sorry that a site with 99,9% fake profiles is gone!… A better filtration system would be required to make this site interesting. Unfortunately and I will upset a few, this is not a big loss…

  151. I am one of those rare people who can say that collarme (CM) as most call it in the chat rooms, who’s life was so positively affected by being a member of the site. It was on CM that I initially read a profile and then met with someone who, being part of the local kink community here in San Diego, had accepted me for who I am and ushered me into the community. It was having met here on CM that my life as a member of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence began.

    The only way I can give back for such great mentor ship is to try doing the same for others. Doing so on the very platform that brought about my joyful change in life was part of that.

    Bravo for having created a great starting place for so many in the community, and also for having the fortitude for taking it down in the face of adversity. Many blessing on you and your family. Like so many must have said above, We all look forward to the phoenix rising from the ashes, in what ever form it may take.

    v/r
    submdj
    aka boy tom
    aka Sister Ida @}–

  152. Tiffany I’m sorry your partner is being a jackass and hurting not only you but your members also I joined at the beginning and have enjoyed the site as a member ill back you up no matter what if I can help please let me know thanks James

  153. I wish you the best and send my prayers hoping that your daughter does well. I loved CM and will stick around awaiting its return.

  154. Tiffany,

    I read your harrowing tale minus the popcorn. I am indeed sorry about your partner. Life deals some unpleasant blows. I am sure you did not expect your partner to turn on you. I am sure he owes you much. Been coming to Collarme for more than 5 years. More like 7 or 8. It has been interesting. I do like to come here and at least look. I am a Dom and sometimes a Master. BDSM is in my life and my blood. I would love to see it back up. I do have some suggestions. Unless you can resolve the issues between you and your partner not much hope in getting CM back up. I like your approach to the site. Business and pleasure can mix. I would suggest you consider your own site. Sounds like you and your partner are never going to agree on terms. Not sure keeping the site down will work. If he is as stubborn as your tale suggests I seriously doubt he will yield to what you want. That is too bad.

    Like to see a New Collarme back up. Fresh start. There you have my 2 cents. Good luck,

    CosmcMaster

  155. I would like to toss my hat in the ring too.. I will help you make a new CM as I have met a lot of great people off of here. I am a professional web designer and former Cloud Platform Engineer for Shell Oil. If you need help please let me know I’m in as far as design and layout.

  156. I have a baby as well and I live in NYC as well.. So I feel you. I really do. I hope the doctors are able to make her better.

    But ya know what.. Im so glad collar me is finished. I was on your site (off and on) for 8 years and in all honesty it was a garbage dump.

    Seriously, a Garbage dump of lost messed up obese unattractive abusive people- In all those 8 years I met maybe 7 people. Some dominant some submissive but Every Single One of them was damaged goods, or not people I would introduce to my family.

    I hope you get paid, but Thank God that P.O.S website is finished. I hate it I hate it I hate it..

  157. Collarme has been a wonderful place for many people to connect and share their fantasies and dreams. Sure there is a percentage of “junk”, but there is still a core group of people that thoroughly enjoyed the community. It would be great if Collarme would come back alive and connect those true Core people back together again.
    .. be good to each other and always respectful :)

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